I couldn’t help grinning at the action, happy to have somewhere to go and not to stand like a loon for much longer. I slid down the wall next to him, Dramin handing me the mug in silence before he turned back to where Sain and Ilyan gathered around Ryland, the steam from his water floating through the air.
We sat in silence as we drank, the quiet feeling comfortable and almost needed. After all, there wasn’t anything that needed to be said. I could feel Dramin’s comfort at making it through the battle alive, and in a lot of ways I felt the same way. I could have asked him about the sights, but I knew he already knew, and nothing we said about it now would change anything; there was always tomorrow.
I rested my head back against the stone wall, and for the first time in what felt like days, I wanted to find rest. Thanks to the Drak blood that flowed through my veins, I wasn’t tired, but my body was exhausted.
I leaned against the rock wall as Sain stepped away from Ryland, leaving Ilyan alone with his brother as he came to join us. He didn’t take his eyes off me as he sat on the other side of Dramin, the intensity of his stare making me uncomfortable. I could tell at once he had something to say, some sort of blame for our failure, for the broken sights. For anything.
I didn’t want to hear it.
My jaw stiffened uncomfortably as I looked stubbornly into the fire, then at the grey rock that surrounded us, anywhere other than at the potent look he had fixed me with.
“Joclyn,” Sain began, his voice softer than it had been, almost a whisper.
I could tell he wanted me to turn to him, but I wasn’t going to give him that. So I stayed still, letting the whisper of what came next wash over me.
“I am so sorry for treating you the way I have. After waiting so long to have you return…” He paused, his head hanging down as his shoulders rose and fell.
I waited, waited for more to come.
Wishing I could block him out in some way.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I should not expect so much of you. I am glad to see you alive.”
I jerked toward him, my jaw working as I let his words seep into me. I just stared at him, not trusting his words, not wanting to believe them. He had told me hours before that he would celebrate my death, and now he was grateful for my life.
I didn’t really think he felt either of those.
I nodded once, not trusting myself to say anything. Sain’s face fell ever so slightly before he moved away from me and leaned against the wall.
I turned away from him just as Ilyan moved away from Ryland to Thom and Wyn, who already looked to be half asleep. Wyn had her head resting on Thom’s shoulder and didn’t even move as he approached. Thom only nodded in feigned sleep at whatever Ilyan said before Ilyan moved over to us.
“We are going to rest for five hours before we move again. We need to get to the safe house above the clock before night falls tomorrow, so the earlier start we get, the better.” Dramin nodded his head at Ilyan’s words, and I had a sinking sensation that he had already known what Ilyan was going to say.
“Sain has said we will be safe while we sleep, so I suggest everyone rest,” Ilyan continued, the deep presence of the king heavy in the darkness of the cave.
Sain and Dramin both nodded their heads before closing their eyes, their bodies already relaxing in feigned sleep. I wasn’t sure the Drak would let them sleep.
Come, my love, Ilyan whispered into my mind, his hand extended toward me. I set Dramin’s mug down as Ilyan pulled me to standing. His fingers weaved through mine as I followed him to the other side of the fire where the last open space sat across from where Ryland slept. Everyone else was laid before us like the spokes of the wheel. I could see them all. I don’t know why, but for some reason the thought made me calm.
I slid down onto the rock as I tried to get comfortable, careful to keep my braid from touching the rough rock behind me.
“Are you tired?” Ilyan asked as he sat beside me, his voice soft in my ear as he leaned toward me.
“No,” I whispered, my spine shivering at the feeling of Ilyan’s breath against my neck.
I turned my head toward him, pressing my lips against his forehead as I leaned into him. I could feel the exhaustion in his body. I could sense his heart rate slowing as my magic flowed into him.
“Go to sleep,” I whispered against him as I pressed him down into my lap.
His body settled into me as I moved the hair that had come free of my haphazard braid out of his face. I ran my fingers over the stubble on his jawline, the bridge of his nose, then the soft skin over his eyes. I traced the lines of his face as he relaxed, moving closer to sleep at the contact. He looked up at me as my finger ran over his neck, his bright eyes blazing.
I love you,M?j kamarád, he whispered into my mind as his eyes closed, his body relaxing against me as his arm moved to wind around my legs.