At the bottom of the hill, the iron bars had disappeared from the wolf’s door and the cage had morphed into an open cave, warmed by a roaring fire. I’d given my wolf a deep-pile carpet to rest upon in front of the fireplace, and this is where she had usually been waiting for me in the past. If the wolf wasn’t napping by the fire, ready for me to nudge her awake, she would be pacing at the bottom of the slope, her tail wagging eagerly as I approached.
But not tonight. Instead, I entered the clearing to find that my wolf’s den was empty, the fire burned out. With increasing worry, I rushed into the trees, calling her name—my name—but no one answered. Soon, I was running frantically, branches slapping into my face and tearing against my skin. The forest seemed to extend in front of me infinitely without a sign of my other half. By the time I circled back around, even the wolf’s cave had disappeared, although the path up to the light of the outside world remained.
A month ago, I would have been thrilled to lose my lupine half, but now I was heart-broken. With a jolt, I returned to the real world, and the splintery wood of the picnic table cut into my knees, painful rather than enticing. Up on the mountaintop, I could hear the howls of Wolfie’s pack, but I was just a shiftless human, my own wolf gone. I dropped my head into my hands and cried.
Chapter 15
Wolves love to pile together, but I could barely stand being crammed between two youngsters in the backseat of the pack’s car. Now I regretted the pure cowardice that had made me choose to ride with the yahoos instead of with the adults. Not that I would have been any better off struggling to avoid Chase’s eyes and trying to keep my distance from our alpha, but at least the young werewolves’ high spirits wouldn’t be clawing down my spine and assaulting my eyes and nose.
“I call shotgun on the way back,” Blaze hooted as we approached the end of our trip. The yahoos were so confident of our success that they were bickering over who would have to ride on someone’s lap once Keith joined their ranks. I didn’t bother telling the young werewolves that there would be one fewer person in the car on the return trip—if we were lucky, Keith could have my seat. Instead, I just tuned the young wolves out, a relatively easy task since they’d given up on dragging me into their conversation hours ago.
I hadn’t been back to Haven in ten years, but the turnoff from the highway looked just the same. No sign, just “Private Drive” discretely labeled on a county road marker. I could remember walking out to the highway with Brooke, cranking our arms at passing truck drivers and laughing uproariously as their air horns belted out a deep bellow that became lower-pitched as it receded into the distance. The memory gave me a bit more sympathy for the innocent banter of the yahoos, although it didn’t make their antics any easier to bear.
As we turned down the private drive and slowed to a crawl, more memories rushed in, almost overwhelming me. I’d forgotten how much I loved following the creek below the main village, splashing through the water with bare feet and baiting crawdads with bits of their siblings’ flesh. It was too cold now for creek-walking, but I expected to see more people out and about, until I realized that my old neighbors would all be under lockdown, anticipating our arrival. Sure enough, we didn’t see a single person as we passed rustic farmhouses. Until we reached the village green, that is, where every male over the age of fifteen waited to greet us.
The car in front of us ground to a halt and Chase, Wolfie, Oscar, Quetzalli, and Galena emerged, their doors banging loudly behind them. We’d left Berndt and his family, plus Tia, back at the compound to hold down the fort, and I was glad that they, at least, would be spared the sordid show about to be put on for my father’s benefit. Even though I knew I’d never be able to return to Wolfie’s pack after today, I cringed at the idea of the nine pack mates now present watching my betrayal.
Wade was the oldest and quietest of the yahoos, and he waited beside my door after the others bounded up to encircle their alpha. “Are you okay?” he asked me, offering a hand to help me out of the car. I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t ancient enough to need assistance just yet, but I felt as old as the hills, and I ended up stumbling over my own feet, grabbing the young man’s arm after all.
Wolfie should have had all of his attention riveted on my father’s pack, but he glanced back the instant my skin touched Wade’s, then he cocked his head to one side. The packless ache in my stomach nearly tore me in half as I realized that Wolfie wouldn’t be enfolding me in his alpha protection after today. I shot him a shaky smile, meant to reassure him, but probably just making the alpha think I was carsick.