Shadows at Stonewylde

13



Yul sat cross-legged on the Altar Stone waiting for the sun to rise. It was two days before the Winter Solstice and the Stone Circle was almost ready. The bonfire was huge, with a hollow centre and ladder reaching to the tiny crow’s nest on top. Here the Herald of Dawn would wait with his unlit torch for the first rays of the rising sun to appear. This year Yul had chosen his half-brother Rufus for the role and Miranda had been so pleased, not realising it had been Sylvie’s suggestion. Miranda tried not to push her son forward for special treatment, but she also wanted to ensure he didn’t miss out on something just because he was Magus’ posthumous last-born child.

Yul glanced around at the vast standing stones, noting how the decorations weren’t quite finished yet. There was holly, ivy and mistletoe painted beautifully on every stone in an intricate design, and several deer leaping gracefully across them, for the deer was the totem animal of this festival. All that remained to be done were the golden discs of the sun, the fiery emblems always present at the two solstice festivals. Doubtless the artists would be back today to finish them off.

Yul looked at his watch, wishing impatiently that the sun would rise so he could get back to his office. He hadn’t been up here for a while to mark sunrise or sunset and had realised, as he faced the ordeal of yet another restless night, that he was losing touch with what really mattered. He should be up here every day receiving the Earth Magic and honouring the goddess as he’d always done in the past. It was just that he was so very busy all the time and there were so many demands on him.

But the thing that was really affecting him so adversely was the breakdown in communication with Sylvie. This, more than all the work piled on him, made him tired and irritable and unable to function properly. He’d always taken their happiness for granted, basked in the harmony of their love and passion without realising that at some point it could come to an end. Had it come to an end? He didn’t know – Yul thought she still loved him, but things had gone very wrong between them. He was terrified that she was becoming ill again; that the present problems were an early indication of the return of her psychosis. He loved her so much and couldn’t bear the thought of watching her slowly disintegrate again before his eyes. Last time it had started with irrational behaviour and the hearing of voices, and history seemed to be repeating itself.

Yul hung his head – he couldn’t cope without Sylvie by his side and if she wasn’t there, he wouldn’t even want to. She was so much part of Stonewylde that the two were inextricable. He felt unutterably weary, exhausted by worry and lack of sleep. There was also the problem of his damn sister to contend with. The morning after the last Moon Fullness Maizie had marched up to his rooms early in the morning with a puffy-eyed Leveret in tow. The girl had obviously been sobbing her heart out for she could barely see and her breath was still catching in convulsive gasps. But he’d never seen Maizie so hard-hearted and cold towards her daughter, ignoring Leveret and speaking as if she didn’t exist.

‘I wash my hands o’ her, Yul. I’ve had enough – do what you like with her. I don’t care if she stays with you in this wing or joins the other boarders – just keep her out o’ my sight.’

‘What happened?’ he asked, shocked at the way she was speaking. It really was as if she didn’t care any more. She was dull-eyed and the lines around her mouth were sharp. Maizie shrugged, glancing at her stricken daughter with dislike.

‘She let me down. Again. I really believed that this time she were going to behave. I trusted her and I was so proud of her …’

She broke off as Leveret began to cry again, sounding small and pathetic, uncomforted by either her mother or brother as she stood sobbing into her hands.

‘She’s kept up this blubbing for most of the night but quite honestly I don’t believe it,’ said Maizie. ‘’Tis all for effect – she’s a liar and a deceiver and I’ll never trust her again. I feel nought but dislike for her and I never thought to say that about one o’ my own children.’

‘But what did she do?’

Yul couldn’t believe this was Maizie, the most loyal, caring mother in Stonewylde.

‘We were working in the Barn last night – I were on the food committee working out the baking rota and she were with the group making Yule lanterns. I’d only said earlier how proud I felt that she were helping me every night with such a cheerful heart. Since the boys left home I’d been looking forward to just the two of us spending time together, me and my last child without all the bustle of a big family around us. And I thought—’

‘Mother please don’t! I’m sorry – I love you, I really do!’

Maizie completely ignored the heart-wrenching words of despair as if Leveret hadn’t spoken.

‘Anyway, then I noticed that she weren’t with her group but I never thought she’d deceived me again. Then I began to wonder because she still wasn’t back and they said she’d gone to fetch her snips so Rosie and I started to worry and went home to see if she were there.’

‘And was she?’ asked Yul.

‘No she weren’t!’ said Maizie bitterly. ‘She’d never been there at all – that was just more of her lies. So Rosie and I went back to the Barn, and I were starting to worry all the more what could’ve happened as I still didn’t think she’d let me down again. And then Sweyn and Gefrin came marching in, with Jay as well, dragging her all screaming and kicking. She were making such a noise! Like a pig at slaughter, all that squealing and wriggling she did! I nearly died o’ shame in front of all those people in the Barn – all my friends, all the committees, all the people I have to work with day in and day out. I wished the earth’d swallow me up to see my daughter hauled in like that in such shame!’

Yul eyed Leveret with the same look of disgust as his mother had.

‘I don’t believe I’m hearing this,’ he said, his voice turning curt with cold dislike.

‘She’d sneaked out when I weren’t looking and she’d been collecting mistletoe in a bag, when I’d particularly told her she was not to roam about the estate, she was not to collect things for her remedies or whatever it is she makes, and she was never to go wandering off at the Moon Fullness. Neither were she to meet up with that Magpie, but she did! There was no denying it – she were caught red-handed by her brothers with a flaxen bag full of mistletoe, skulking around under the trees in the Village Green with the boy. And somehow she’d got hold of some cider and she were drunk! That must be Magpie’s fault, for Jay said he’s known to knock back the cider whenever he can. We all know he’s not right in the head but this girl should know better.’

They both turned to look at her as if she were something nasty on the sole of a shoe. Leveret was as white as a swan and seemed unable to speak, her breathing raw and convulsive.

‘And worse still, she’s tried to deny it all and blame her brothers! She always tries to wriggle out of it. She told me the most terrible lies about them last night that nobody in their right mind could swallow.’

‘I find it extraordinary that she’s behaved like this,’ Yul said, shaking his head, ‘after all the promises she made to us both last time.’

‘I know! You see why I don’t want to deal with her any more. She’ll be fifteen at Imbolc and I know ‘tisn’t the custom to board until September when she’s in her last year at school, but I want you to arrange for her to move up here now. I don’t want her at home.’

‘I’m not surprised – who would, after the way she’s betrayed your trust? Of course she can move up to the Hall. She’ll have me to answer to and I won’t make her life easy. I’m so sorry, Mother.’

He put his arms around the plump, dark-haired woman who barely reached his chin and gave her a big hug. She squeezed him back gratefully and left the room without a backward glance at her sobbing daughter.

So now Yul was lumbered with Leveret too, who moped about like the world was coming to an end. He really didn’t need that as well, not just now. And tomorrow was the Rite of Adulthood day and he must spend it up in the Wildwood with the boys … Yul sighed, his head in his hands, and then realised with a jolt that the sun had come up and he hadn’t even noticed. He leapt to his feet on the stone, frowning with puzzlement and shock. He’d felt nothing at all, no Earth Energy, no green magic flowing through him. What on earth had happened? He felt a clutch of fear at his heart – was this the beginning of the end for him? He recalled how Magus’ power had waned and shivered at the prospect of Stonewylde rejecting him too.

‘Don’t leave me now, Goddess!’ he called out loud in anguish. ‘Please don’t you abandon me as well!’

The cart full of paints and brushes, lanterns and evergreens arrived at this moment and the men and women who came with it stared at their magus strangely. Yul barely noticed them but strode distractedly out of the Stone Circle and back down towards the Hall.

‘And bright blessings to you too, Master Yul!’ muttered one of them.

Clip wandered out of the kitchens with a bag of fruit and some hazelnuts, the provisions he intended to take with him that evening to the Dolmen for his personal Solstice feast. It was early morning but he needed to bathe and prepare himself for the Solstice tomorrow. He crossed the entrance hall, absent-mindedly brushing into a small person on the way.

‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘Oh, Leveret!’

He’d barely recognised her – she looked terrible and seemed to have shrunk in on herself. Her pointy little face was even sharper than usual, the usual healthy glow replaced by a wan waxiness. Her black curls were bedraggled and unkempt and she regarded him with sunken eyes, the green dulled.

‘Blessings, Clip,’ she muttered.

‘What’s happened to you? Are you ill?’

She merely shook her head and tried to continue across the hall. He took her arm and noticed how thin it was.

‘Leveret, tell me what’s the matter? You look awful. Have you been eating?’

She shook her head again.

‘But you mustn’t fast too much, never more than a couple of days. Especially not at your age when you’re still growing.’

She shrugged and looked listlessly at the floor.

‘How long since you ate anything?’

She shrugged again and he stared at her perplexed, at a complete loss as to what to do. Then he led her to a large oak settle by the fireplace and sat down with her. She sat next to him like an automaton.

‘Does Yul know you’re not eating?’

‘He doesn’t care. He hates me,’ she whispered. ‘Everyone hates me and I’m nothing. Worse than nothing.’

‘Oh Leveret, you know that’s not true. What about Maizie? I know your mother cares about you.’

Her face crumpled at this but no tears came. She shook her head. Clip frowned, then awkwardly put an arm around her narrow shoulders, pulling her into his side and holding her gently.

‘Leveret, I’m sure they care. I know everyone’s busy at the moment but they do care.’

‘No they don’t! Mother said she’s finished with me once and for all and she sent me to live up here. She won’t let me stay in the cottage and she wants nothing more to do with me, ever. Rosie won’t speak to me at all – she thinks I’m nasty and selfish. Yul said I’m a thorn in his flesh and he hates me because I upset Mother. Then Sweyn and Gefrin said they’re going to do something really awful to me, worse than they’ve ever done before. Now no one cares about me at all, they know they’ll get away with it. And Jay says he wants to join in as well.’

‘I spoke to your mother about Sweyn,’ said Clip. ‘I told her what he did to you at Samhain, with the apple-bobbing barrel, so—’

Leveret laughed bitterly at this; a horrible sound entirely devoid of mirth.

‘That was kind of you, Clip, but pointless. Mother confronted him and of course Sweyn told his usual lies and she believed him. She always chooses to believe him and Gefrin before me. Why’s that? Why does she love them and not me? What have I ever done so she won’t believe me but always —’

Her voice cracked and Clip squeezed her shoulders, feeling so inadequate.

‘Leveret, you mustn’t think that way. I’m sure she loves you as much as your brothers. I’ll speak to her again and convince her you’re telling the truth about them. I know what I saw in the Barn.’

Leveret shook her head and sighed heavily.

‘Really, there’s no point. Mother isn’t interested in the truth. She’s only interested in what she wants to hear. She said some horrible things about me and Magpie too. There’s nothing – absolutely nothing – I can do to make her see the truth. Poor Magpie …‘

She broke off, her voice fading to nothing.

‘What about Magpie? He’s Starling’s son, isn’t he? The mute boy? I thought he was your friend – I know I’ve seen you together.’

She nodded.

‘I’m forbidden from seeing him. The things they did to him … he can’t eat now. They forced him to eat raw rabbit but nobody believes me. And the only thing they cook in his house is rabbit stew and now he can’t eat it at all. He’s so hungry but nobody will listen to me and he’s getting sick. If Magpie can’t eat then neither can I so we’re both going to die.’

Clip shook his head.

‘No you’re not going to die, Leveret. That’s silly. How old are you?’

‘I’m fourteen. And it’s not silly – you just don’t understand, Clip.’

‘Look, it’s the Winter Solstice tomorrow and you’ll be taking part in the ceremonies and having such a good time at the party in the Barn. You’ll forget all this misery and woe.’

‘I won’t,’ she said mournfully. ‘I won’t be taking part in anything. I won’t even be here. Thank you, Clip, for being so nice to me. I like you and I’m sorry if I’ve ever done anything wrong to you. I must go now – I have things to do.’

She stood up, unsteady on her feet.

‘You were very kind to me at Samhain and I wish I’d had a father like you to teach me. All I ever wanted was to learn about plants and magic and to be the Wise Woman. I never wanted to hurt Mother or do anything bad. But everything’s gone wrong and I can never make it right again. Magpie and I … our lives are a misery and everybody hates us. We’re at everyone’s mercy and we can’t go on like this anymore. I just wish I could’ve been a Wise Woman.’

Clip had no idea what to do with her. She was clearly very distressed – maybe he should tell Maizie, or even Sylvie. But then he remembered it was the start of the Rite of Adulthood today and they’d both be under the willow tree with the women and the girls. Yul would be out too, in the Wildwood with the boys. There was nobody about today who could talk to the girl and help her. Nobody but him and he didn’t have a clue where to start.

‘Would you like to come up into the Solar with me?’ he asked. ‘Up in my tower? You’ve never been there before, have you? The views are really stunning and you could look at some of my books – I’ve a vast collection of them. And I’ll play you my gongs if you like. There’s nothing like a sound bath to put things in perspective.’

But she shook her head.

‘I’ve got to get some food from the kitchens for me and Magpie to take with us.’

That sounded more promising – at least she was intending to eat.

‘Are you going on a picnic then?’

‘We’re going on a journey and we’ll need some food or we’ll never make it there. It’s a long way to walk in the cold. I’ve been dreaming about it every night and I know Magpie and I must go there – it’s where we belong.’

Clip looked at Leveret in consternation. She really did look terrible and all the light had gone from her eyes.

‘You’re not running away, are you? Because Leveret, if—’

She shook her head impatiently, and stood up.

‘No, Clip. I’ve never wanted to leave Stonewylde and that’s half the problem. My life isn’t my own anymore – everyone else makes all the choices for me and I’ve had enough of it. I’m taking control of my own destiny and I’ve decided what we have to do. It’s the only thing we can do, with everyone hating us. Sorry but I must go, Clip. You’re a kind man and I liked you a lot.’

She left then, stumbling across the hall into the passage leading to the kitchens. Clip watched her go with a sad heart, thinking how he must do something to help her after the Solstice. Before he left Stonewylde he’d take her under his wing and try to nurture the magic he knew she possessed.

It was mid-afternoon when Magpie and Leveret finally reached their destination. The trek had been horrendous and many times Leveret doubted whether they’d actually make it. Even though they’d stuffed themselves with bread and cheese in the empty kitchens before they left, both were weakened by their lack of food over the past few days. She suspected that Magpie had at least one broken rib and he was limping badly too. Jay had obviously given him a good going over before the rabbit scene that she’d stumbled on, and then they’d all laid into him when he couldn’t get up. Poor Magpie – her heart ached for him. He’d retreated into himself after that terrible night, gone to a place where nobody could hurt him anymore. He was filthier than ever and she thought he must have just been curled up on his blanket under the stairs ever since that night, unable to do anything for the pain and unable to eat the food that was tauntingly offered by his mother, who probably knew all about the raw rabbit torture. Leveret realised how lucky she’d been to grab Magpie as he hobbled outside to use the lavatory at the bottom of the garden. She may not have had another chance.

They approached Quarrycleave slowly, both exhausted. The wintry sun was hazy behind thin cloud and the air was cool but mild for the time of year. A flock of rooks flew overhead noisily; Leveret saluted them and dragged Magpie on.

‘Come on Maggy, nearly there now. Look, there’s the quarry, the Place of Bones and Death they call it, and it’s where the old Magus died. It’s a very special place of death and I’ve been dreaming about it ever since I decided what we must do. Quarry-cleave has been calling to me and I know this is where we belong – at least we’re wanted here.’

They approached the shallow end of the sprawling quarry and as they got closer Leveret made the sign of the pentangle. She felt a trickle of fear in her throat; it truly was a place of death. She knew where they were heading – she’d heard all the talk and stories over the years, as had every other child at Stonewylde. Magus had died falling from Snake Stone, a huge pillar different to the Portland limestone in the quarry. Made of a sparkling rock, it was carved with writhing serpents and was the site of a battle between her eldest brother and his father on the eve of the Winter Solstice, thirteen years ago tonight.

Leveret had never visited Quarrycleave before – it wasn’t exactly forbidden, but very strongly discouraged as it was a dangerous place. She’d heard the place was haunted by evil spirits but she wasn’t sure whether that was just superstition. Nevertheless she felt an uneasiness here that surprised her, a constant feeling of being watched and even being followed by something. Several times as they struggled through the quarry, stumbling down the long corridors of rock and brushing past the sinuous ivy, she’d felt as if something were just around the corner behind them, stalking them. Once the feeling had taken hold it was difficult to ignore and she found her heart beating faster. Magpie was whimpering and struggling along but sending her no messages even though she was holding his hand. He seemed incapable of even the limited communication they usually managed.

‘It’s not far now, Maggy,’ she said encouragingly. ‘Can you see that great rock up there? We just have to get there and then we can rest.’

They came to the place where the labyrinth of stone ended, at the head of the quarry where the hill rose sharply above in a high cliff of stone. Now they must climb up the side of the quarry along the narrow path. It was their last ordeal and a difficult one, especially as Leveret couldn’t hold on to Magpie. By the time they reached the point where the stepping boulders led up to the top of the Snake Stone she was crying tears of frustration and exhaustion. Her chest was heaving and Magpie’s near continuous moans of pain and distress upset her terribly. They sat together on a boulder to catch their breath before attempting the final climb.

‘Is it really hurting? Poor Maggy – it’s your ribs. If things were different I’d have put on a poultice and bandaged you up. You should be lying in a warm, soft bed, looked after and cared for. But there’s no chance of that, not for either of us, is there?’

Magpie hunched next to her in his filthy old coat, his breathing still laboured. She took his dirty hand in hers and rubbed it against her cheek. He laid his head on her shoulder, almost knocking her over.

‘I tried to tell them you were hurt and in danger but nobody would listen to me,’ she continued sadly. ‘Nobody believes anything I say. So we’ll take our chances, you and me, Maggy. We’ll leave this place and move on to the Otherworld. Mother Heggy’ll look after us there, I know she will, and they say it’s a wonderful place with none of the horrible things here. I can feel Mother Heggy waiting for us just on the other side. Come on then – we’re almost there now.’

She pushed, dragged and cajoled Magpie up onto the great boulders that acted as steps to the Snake Stone. She was so small compared to him but also very determined, and eventually she heaved him onto the stone platform, the stage for Magus’ final moments of life. Leveret looked down over the quarry; the shadows were deepening on this very short day and she felt another jagged thrill of fear. She was sure there was something lurking down there. Maybe it was just a wild animal – a dog or fox, or even one of the big cats that were rumoured to inhabit the Wildwoods to the east. Whatever it was, she was very pleased to be out of the dark pit below.

She tried to dismiss her dread and gently helped Magpie to sit down, not wanting him to topple over the edge to a slow death of broken limbs. It was a truly gigantic pillar with a very steep drop, but there was room for both of them to stretch out on its top.

‘Look at these carvings, Maggy. Can you see the great snake here, coiled up? And here are the cups – I heard they used to hold moon eggs made of this special sparkling stone. It has magical properties, you know; it stores up moon energy channelled by a moongazy maiden. Mother told me all about this and what happened to the old Magus.’ She paused, the memories of her mother telling her stories as a child difficult to bear. ‘Let’s just rest now and get comfortable and then we can do it.’

Magpie lay down on the rock and curled into a foetal position, whimpering softly. Leveret sat next to him, cross-legged, stroking his face. He was filthy and his hair crawled with lice, but she was beyond caring about things like that. She loved him – she was the only person in the world who loved him – and if things had been different she’d have cared for him and made sure that he was happy, as much as he could be. But she had no power and she couldn’t stand by and watch him suffer any longer. If she did he would die, at the hands of either Jay or his mother, and it would be a slow and brutal death involving much suffering first. This was kinder. At least this way they could go together and it would be peaceful and relatively quick.

Leveret nodded, sure she’d made the right decision. What point was there in living? Her mother would never trust her again and couldn’t bear to be near her. Yul couldn’t stand the sight of her and Rosie wasn’t speaking to her. She had no friends at school, nobody liked her, and she was now in effect an exile in her own community. And as for Sweyn and Gefrin – she was truly terrified about their threats. They’d made it very clear that together with Jay, they had something really awful in store for both her and Magpie; after witnessing the rabbit incident Leveret knew this was no idle threat.

She knew her mother would be upset that she’d made the choice to pass on to the Otherworld, but in the long run it was for the best. She and her mother could never rebuild their relationship. The trust had died and couldn’t be revived and it was just too painful to carry on like this with her mother despising her. She thought of the other people who might be affected. Marigold in the kitchens was generally very kind to both her and Magpie, and she’d be sad. Clip, who was so wise and different from anybody else she knew – he’d be a little upset perhaps. Leveret thought briefly of her two nieces, Celandine and Bluebell.

Until she’d been banished to Yul’s apartments, she’d despised them as silly, spoilt little girls. But she’d started to get to know them recently and knew that if things had been different, she’d have maybe grown to love them. They certainly seemed to be very fond of her and she’d enjoyed their sweetness and affection. They’d been so distressed by her sadness and depression during this last week, since Maizie had dumped her at the Hall, that Yul had prevented her from seeing them. Leveret had been confined to her room at all times when she wasn’t actually in class or doing chores, and had been banned from any contact with them. Yul had shouted at her for upsetting his daughters but she hadn’t meant to at all. Not that he had believed anything she said.

Yul had been so angry with her, yet again, after Maizie had abandoned her, shouting at her, pushing his face into hers and really frightening her. He’d lectured her endlessly about how selfish and cruel she was and told her how Maizie’s life had been terrible for sixteen years until her father Alwyn had died. This now was their mother’s chance to be happy and content, not feel betrayed by someone she loved. On and on he’d ranted until she could take no more. Leveret didn’t need to be told what an awful person she was – she already knew. She hated herself and knew she was worthless; why else did nobody like her? She’d no friends and was the ugliest girl at Stonewylde, skinny and hideous. Nobody would ever want her. Nobody would even talk to her.

She cringed with embarrassment at the ridiculous hopes she’d nursed about the boy she’d liked. He was perfect – so handsome and popular, so clever and kind, with loads of girlfriends. She’d been stupid to dream that one day he might notice her and ask her to be his girlfriend. She hung her head in shame and self-loathing. Her life was a misery and there was no end in sight. She’d had enough and longed only to leave this place and enter the Otherworld. Once they were there, everything would be better and they could start again. Perhaps Magpie would even have the power of speech.

Leveret rested her hand gently on his bruised and swollen cheek and looked down at him just as he opened his lovely turquoise eyes to gaze deeply into hers. She could feel his thoughts again, thank goddess, for he’d even locked himself away from her. But now he was back and she smiled at him, returning his love.

‘You’re a beautiful boy, Magpie,’ she said softly. ‘Your life has been terrible and you don’t deserve it. You know Levvy loves you too. That’s why we’re going to the Otherworld together. Are you happy to go there with me?’

He nodded, his eyes blazing his need to always be with her.

‘Alright then – let’s do it now before it gets dark.’

She shifted slightly and fished in her cloak pocket for the small bag. Opening the draw-string Leveret pulled out the shrivelled mushrooms. There were four of the dull beige caps – two each. Death Caps – lethal and final.