“Fourteen days,” I murmured against my pillow. “And you did more than beat him up. You terrorized him.”
Trevor curled up behind me and brushed back my hair with his fingers. “I’m sorry I had to pull you out of there, April, but you need to understand that someone like Reno isn’t good for you. Guys like him just don’t give a shit about girls like you, and you’re a gem. You’re like those little glass snow globes your dad gave you—fragile and beautiful. He just wants to keep shaking you up until you’re confused, but once the snow settles, you’ll see he’s still on the outside and not the right guy for you.”
“He makes me happy.”
“You can find someone better to make you happy.”
“It’s not what you think.”
“Nothing ever is.”
I rolled over to face him and stared at his soft lips. It was the one thing about him that no one took notice of, but he had a great mouth. Maybe it’s because his smile was always genuine, never forced or phony, never mean-spirited or mysterious. When Trevor smiled, it was just all Trevor.
“I know what you are.”
His expression went rigid and he rolled onto his back, grabbing the clicker and turning up some stupid movie with alien explosions. “Tired, that’s what I am.”
“Trev, I’ve known you long enough that I can tell when you’re lying. I can’t force you to confide in me, but we both know what I’m talking about. I’m not going to back you into a corner, but when you want to talk about it, I’m here. That’s all I wanted to say.”
“Don’t know what you mean, babe,” he said in a distant voice, tucking his hand behind his head. “I booked the room for the week. They have pretty good monthly rates—cheaper than some apartments. Not bad for a couple of drifters without any junk to haul around. I’m hoping I land a job soon.”
“Where did you apply?”
“One of them is a shoe store; the other is a pizza shop.”
“Trev?”
“Huh?”
“You don’t like sneakers and you hate pizza.”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t sell the shit out of them.”
I smiled. Yeah, he could.
“Hold on to your panties!” he exclaimed, swinging his legs off the bed and reaching in the closet. “Wait until you see this. I went back to the trailer and found a couple of odds and ends that weren’t incinerated too bad. Check it out!” He whirled around.
Trevor handed me an e-reader and I turned it over in my hands, dumbstruck. He gloated and sat on the bed, peeling off his socks.
While he did that, I held it to my nose and could still smell the plastic packaging. “This isn’t mine. You just bought this, didn’t you?”
“Dime a dozen, babe.”
“I can’t take it.”
“And I refuse to have a birthday present I bought for you sitting in the ashes of your past. You’re my sexy nerd girl and I’m always gonna be here to make sure you get your book fix.”
I laughed and fell against the pillow as he walked around the room. “I guess if I’m going to be a junkie like my mom, then at least my drug of choice is words.”
“That’s not funny.”
I set the gift on the nightstand. “Thanks, Trev.”
“Just don’t say you owe me, because that’s not the deal with us.”
No, it was never the deal with us. Trevor was the exception to the rule. He never made anything he gave me feel like it was more than I deserved. But he did make it seem like my gratitude was more than he deserved.
I’d thought Reno would destroy Trevor with a series of punches, but their confrontation never got physical. I wanted to cry because he kept saying I was his girl, and he wasn’t letting me go.
I never imagined I’d be the girl who would sabotage a relationship, but that’s how it unfolded. In the end, it might have destroyed me to love a man like Reno.
Maybe twenty-three was too young to have all the answers. Trevor had hit the nail on the head when he told me that sometimes when you hold on to the fantasy, all you end up with is the reality. I loved Reno, even though I hadn’t declared it aloud to him. But I was the daughter of a drug addict, a traveling circus of debt, and a girl with a rocky past who didn’t trust men. I didn’t have skeletons in my closet—I had a boneyard.