“What are you talking about, April?” He stepped forward, still moving his hand around in his pocket. “I don’t follow what you’re saying. Look, a lot of shit went down tonight—”
“No,” I said tersely, still crying. “I made my dad pick up dinner that night. He didn’t want to go because of the rain and said he’d make some macaroni, but I begged him for fried chicken. I even pulled out the pretty please with sugar on top routine. Because of me, he left the house and that was the last time I ever saw him. Do you understand how hard it is to know that because of you, someone else died?” I gasped and wiped the tears, remembering the words of blame my mother had said to me. “The last thing I said to my father was ‘don’t forget the rolls.’ What kind of last words are those?” I covered my eyes and gathered strength. You can handle this, my inner voice whispered reassuringly. “All these years later and it still hasn’t sunk in. I wish I could have told him I loved him and how he meant the world to me. They found his car in the river. It didn’t hit me then like it does now that I’ll never have a father to walk me down the aisle. I’ve brought nothing but pain to everyone I’ve loved. My last boyfriend slept with other girls because I pushed him away. But maybe I push a little because I’m scared of getting hurt. I didn’t give him what he wanted, so he got it somewhere else.”
Reno pulled his hand out of his pocket, holding it in a tight fist as if he wanted to hit something. “What’s his name?”
I sniffed, looking down at his fist. “What’s in your hand?” Something red poked out from the side.
Reno surreptitiously slid his closed fist into his pocket. He put his left hand on the wall above me and leaned in tight. “Listen to me and listen good. You’re not bad mojo, April. You were a young girl who had a shit life. You’ve paid your dues and then some. That’s the luck of the draw, and it pisses me off to hear that your ex treated you like mud on his boot.”
“But that’s not—”
“Quiet,” he interrupted.
I blinked in astonishment—Reno had never spoken to me that curtly. His eyes looked like static and I tried to hold his gaze. But then I saw something soften in his features, and his brown eyes melted like dark chocolate.
“Yeah, you fucked up a few times. But I’m not going anywhere. That’s what makes me different from every other guy you’ve met. I’m a Shifter, and we don’t walk out on our women. You’re not your mother. You’re human. You make mistakes. So you made a few bad choices. Does that mean you don’t deserve happiness? Why are you setting me up to be ‘that’ guy? Something you may not know about me is when things get tough, I get tougher.”
“You can’t fight my battles.”
“Dammit, April. Let me in!”
“I once told Trevor that I wanted to be taken care of, but you know what? He was right. You’ll never learn to stand on your own feet if someone else is holding you up. I have to fix what’s wrong in order to deserve what’s right. I don’t expect you to understand it because you can be so damn bossy!”
His lips twitched. “You done?”
“No,” I said, finally getting my second wind. “You don’t seem to understand that this isn’t going to work out. What happens when I turn forty?”
“Then we have a kickass party,” he said softly, his eyes roving down to my mouth.
“And you’ll still look the same.”
“Maybe I won’t. I’m an old wolf, April. The years are catching up with me.” He sighed and lowered his eyes. “I had a woman a long time ago and she left me for another Shifter because I couldn’t get her pregnant. She went into heat four times and nothing. Maybe that doesn’t mean anything in your human world, but that’s a big deal in mine. I never told my brothers because that’s not the kind of thing a man wants to spread around.”
“How do you know you were the problem?”
“Because she got pregnant right away with the new guy.”
I knew Reno had a past, but it hurt to see it still followed him. Now I understood how he felt about my ex because suddenly I wanted to find that woman and wring her neck.
“I’ve always wanted a good woman, but it just never played out that way. The older you get, the tougher it is with Shifters. The women go after the young, virile men if they can’t mate with an alpha.”
I smirked and touched the sleeve of his shirt. “You’re virile.”
“Getting women isn’t a problem; it’s keeping them. I don’t tell them I’m sterile because I don’t ever let it get serious enough that I have to. But I’m telling you,” he said, his voice softening.
“You can’t get serious with me, Reno. I’m mortal. I’m not going to live hundreds of years like you will.”
“You don’t think it kills me to know I’ll have to watch you get older? I know a Mage who owes me a favor—I can find a way to bring you into our world.”
“But I don’t want to be one of you. I like who I am. I don’t even know what the heck a Mage is, but I don’t think I’d be okay with becoming something I’m not… just for love.”