“Dammit, Maia.”
She sent him a faint smile. “If it keeps you alive, Cole, it’s all right with both of us. Whatever it takes to do your job, just do it and don’t worry about us being a little uncomfortable with it. Jase told me you were this way when he first met you. I don’t blame him for being intimidated.”
“What do I do?”
“You put distance between yourself and everyone else, and you shut down your emotions.”
“I work undercover, Maia. I can’t be showing my emotions to the world, and if I discuss anything with anyone, someone might overhear me or be an enemy. That’s the world I live in.”
“It’s the world you’ve always lived in. As an adult, you simply went out and found the environment most comfortable for you, the one you were familiar with, where you knew all the rules.”
He pushed a hand through his hair, his only sign of agitation. “Am I going to lose you because you finally figured out who I really am?”
She smiled, her lips curving into a soft, amused smile that lit up her face. “I’ve always known who you are, Cole. I knew there was this side of you. It comes out at unexpected times, and it’s disconcerting and intimidating, but it isn’t anything I can’t handle.” She shrugged. “You don’t know me very well. Most things don’t throw me all that easily. I was raised to be my own person, to think for myself and follow my instincts. I can be afraid for you and not be afraid of you.”
“Come here to me.”
“You need to talk to Jase. He’s too young to understand why you need to withdraw from him.” She crossed the distance because she couldn’t resist the dark sensuality of his voice. There was something in him she couldn’t help but respond to, and tonight he wore that dark intensity she found so compelling.
“I will, Maia,” he promised, drawing her into his arms. “I didn’t like not having you in my bed.”
“I’ve only been in your bed once, Cole,” she pointed out.
“You were there all night. I’ve never wanted anyone in bed with me all night. I can’t sleep because I’m always on edge and feel I have to be alert just in case. I didn’t feel that way with you. I wrapped my arms around you and fell asleep. It felt right.”
“You didn’t do much sleeping.”
His hand cupped her face, his thumb sliding over her soft skin. “I’m planning on not sleeping much tonight either.”
“Oh really?” She slid her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his. “That’s a good thing. Are you going to tell me what you’re up to with the snowmobile and phone calls?”
“Later. I’ll tell you later.” His teeth tugged gently at her ear. “Much later.” He slid his hands under the hem of the soft flannel shirt she wore to find bare skin. His hands cupped her bottom, and lifted her to bring her more in line with his own body, holding her there for a moment, savoring the way she fit against him. Her soft body stilled the pounding in his head and tamed the roaring of his nightmares, the terrible memories he could never quite push into oblivion.
Her hands skimmed over his chest, her lips sliding over his neck, his jaw, her teeth nibbling on his lip until he was kissing her, losing himself in her heat. He drank her in, devoured her, needing to be closer to her to keep the demons at bay. “I have too many clothes on,” he whispered into her hot mouth.
“Yes you do,” she agreed, her hands dropping to the waistband of his jeans.
He felt the brush of her knuckles against his belly, over his hard arousal. Every thought went out of his head but his need to feel her body surrounding his. Heat and flame danced over his skin and invaded his veins, spread through his muscles. Whatever roaring beasts had threatened to consume him with rage and hatred fell quiet under the caress of her stroking fingers, under the assault of her hot mouth gliding over his chest. He was harder than he’d ever been in his life, more in need, his mind crowded with erotic images, with hunger and need that left no room for nightmares.
His hands slid over the curves of her hips, along her thighs, his fingers dipping into the moist heat of her body. He loved the way she responded to him, the way she gave herself so generously to him. She made it clear she wanted to touch him, needed to feel and taste him with the same urgency he felt for her. He slid the flannel shirt from her body and dropped it onto the floor before catching her up in his arms and carrying her to the bed.
“I’m not going to let you go, Maia,” he warned, wanting to be honest, hating to be so damned vulnerable. “I can’t let you just walk away from me.”
Her fingers skimmed his face, caressed his shoulders, and moved down his back. “Who said anything about going anywhere, Cole? A little action would be appreciated.”