Gem grinned. “Does that mean you’re thinking about it?”
Tayla looked down at herself, wondering how her body would change should she be integrated. Then she sighed. “It might not be an option anymore. Eidolon hates me.”
“What happened between you two?”
“Mainly, I killed his brother.”
“But I just saw—”
“It was Roag.”
Gem blew out a long breath. “God, Tayla. He was devastated when Roag died.”
“Did you know Roag?”
“Not well. Roag wasn’t around much. He and Wraith fought like vamps and slayers—” She shot Tayla a sheepish smile. “Sorry, Guardians. Eidolon was always afraid they’d kill each other, especially after Roag went through his s’genesis.”
Tayla rubbed her eyes, exhausted and bitterly regretting what had happened between her and Eidolon. She should have kept her mouth shut about Roag. Had she known more about the s’genesis and the mating requirements, maybe she wouldn’t have flipped out like she had. But then, how was she supposed to have known? The Aegis had an extensive library at its disposal, but anything but the most basic of books had to be ordered from headquarters, approved by the Regents, and now it was too late to do any of that.
“Tayla? Are you okay?”
Not at all. “I just wish I knew more. About Seminus demons. About Soulshredders.”
“Yeah, well, don’t beat yourself up. I grew up with demons, and I know exactly squat.” She straightened her skirt, which had bunched up during her transformation. “Have you checked out E’s library?”
Tayla resisted the urge to thunk herself on the forehead. “You’re a genius.”
In the den, they sifted through the hundreds of tomes on the shelves until Gem found what amounted to an encyclopedia of demon species. Tay sat down with it, started with the section on incubi, and specifically, Seminus demons. The information, while a bit more generic than she’d hoped for, still gave her some insight into Seminus behavior, mating rituals, and dermoire symbols.
“Gem, you’ve been friends with Eidolon and his brothers for a long time, haven’t you?”
Gem glanced up from one of the medical texts she’d been reading. “Years. My parents took me to UG for most of my medical appointments.”
“Has . . . has Eidolon really been searching for a mate for so long? Is he really that desperate?”
“God, Tay, I’m sorry I said that—”
Tayla cut her off with a shake of the head. “Wraith said something like that, too.”
“Listen to me.” Gem slammed the book closed with such force that Tayla jumped. “Eidolon isn’t an idiot. He’s one of the most logical, annoyingly intelligent males I’ve ever met, human or demon. He isn’t so desperate that he’d lock himself into a lifetime of misery with a female who might turn on him or who might be a bad mother to his children. Yes, his life and his hospital mean everything to him, but he’d rather die than be bound to a female he doesn’t love. He loves you, Tayla.”
“I don’t think—”
“I can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. We’re Soulshredders, sis, which means that we can sense weakness and pain in others. Eidolon’s weakness is you. But you could also be his strength. He loves you, even if he hasn’t admitted it, even to himself.”
Tayla slouched in her seat, feeling miserable and lost and guilty as hell. “Doesn’t matter. I hurt him. He wants nothing to do with me.”
“I know how that is,” Gem muttered. She glanced at her watch and laughed, a bitter, scornful sound. “Perfect. It’s time to get to the hospital. Kynan should be there soon.”
“He isn’t involved in what happened to your parents.” Tayla spoke with the confidence she wanted to feel.
Gem’s black-painted mouth tightened into a grim slash. “I hope to God you’re right. If anything has happened to them . . .”
Gem didn’t have to finish the sentence. Tayla knew what would happen, knew now what lurked behind the cage of Gem’s protective tattoos.
“I’m right,” Tayla said. “Let’s go prove it.”
A deep-seated ache throbbed through her. She had a feeling that after meeting with Ky, whatever hope she’d had to somehow maintain her relationship with The Aegis would be as dead as her relationship with Eidolon.
Just as Gem predicted, Kynan arrived at Mercy General with two Guardians in tow. Tayla watched covertly from around the corner of the main waiting room, her heart pounding with nervous energy as Gem approached him. Dressed in blue scrubs that looked tame and out of place alongside her funky hair and piercings, Gem said something that lured him away from Tim and Jon, and they disappeared into an examination room.
A moment later, Gem slipped out of the room where she’d taken Kynan. Tay met her near the door. “I told him Dennis wanted to talk to him privately about one of his guys. He’s not expecting you.”
“Thanks. Wish me luck.”
Gem grabbed Tayla’s arm as she brushed past. “I hope he’s not involved.”