‘I love it,’ she whispered, breathless.
He pulled her back to him, wrapping her in his arms. He held her tight – so tight she could feel the hammering of his heart. With her secured like that, he lowered his body down to the roof tiles, bringing her with him, until he lay flat on his back with Allie on top of him.
She looked down at his face. In the starlight his skin appeared incandescent – like it was illuminated from the inside. His blue eyes sparkled like sapphires.
They were both short of breath by now. They’d kissed before but this was different and they both knew it. Everything was more intense. They were completely alone up here. They could do anything they wanted.
There was no one around to stop them.
Allie’s heart raced. Reaching down she traced the lines of his cheekbones with her fingertips. The straight cut of his jaw. His full lips parted at her touch and she traced them, too.
‘Allie, I love you.’
All of Allie’s breath seemed to leave her. She looked at him in shock.
‘Sylvain …’ she whispered. She knew what she was meant to say now.
I love you, too.
Only she couldn’t say it.
She wanted to. But her lips wouldn’t form the words.
The moment hung there, half finished.
‘From the moment I met you,’ he whispered, breaking the silence. ‘From the moment you sat down at the table that night and looked at me with those eyes … You were so full of fire. So full of honesty. I didn’t want anyone in my life. But I needed you.’
Allie’s heart hurt. She knew this – she’d always known. And she cared about him, too. Very much. They’d fought back from a dark place together. Forged something quite wonderful out of it.
So why couldn’t she say it back? What was the matter with her? He was beautiful. He was perfect.
Confusion roiled within her but there was no time to think about it before they were kissing again.
He was more passionate now. His hands stroked her body, touching her everywhere. Her hips. Her stomach. Nobody had ever touched her like this but she wanted him to. She wanted to be wanted.
Then he reached for the edge of her top and started to lift it.
Her body tightened.
Instantly, he stopped; searching her face with his eyes. ‘Tell me.’
Flushing, Allie dropped her gaze. ‘It’s just. I’ve never …’
‘I know,’ he said gently.
Somehow this made her feel worse. She scrambled up until she was sitting, facing him.
How did he know? Was it written on her face?
She was mortified.
She knew he was more experienced than her. She could just tell. Sylvain was the first boy she’d ever properly kissed. Then there had been Carter. Things had gone a little further with him but not much.
Like everyone, Allie wanted to know what the fuss was all about. What it was like to really be with someone. At the same time, though, she was afraid. Once they’d done it … what happened next? Where did you go from there?
Seeing the look on her face, he took both her hands in his and held her gaze with steady eyes.
‘I think it’s obvious I want to do everything with you,’ he said, and she blushed again. ‘But there’s no rush.’ He ran his thumbs lightly across the backs of her hands. ‘We will take all the time you want.’
Allie looked at him narrowly. Wasn’t that something boys just said before they started pressuring you to have sex with them?
‘What if I take forever?’
He held her gaze with earnest eyes.
‘I would wait forever for you.’
14
Fourteen
The next morning, Allie went down to breakfast early hoping to talk to Rachel, but she wasn’t in her usual place in the dining hall. Between classes she scoured the hallways for her wavy, dark hair, but it wasn’t until lunchtime that she saw her, walking down the corridor with a heavy bag of books. She moved with odd stiffness. Allie guessed her muscles must be sore from training.
When she saw Allie, her cheeks coloured and she dropped her eyes.
Allie’s heart sank but she was determined. ‘Do you have a minute to … talk?’
‘Sure,’ Rachel said, but her tone was flat and she didn’t make one of her usual jokes.
They found a quiet window seat on the landing. It was a sunny day but grey clouds hung at the edges of the sky like a threat. Allie looked out at them as she tried to decide what to say.
The air smelled of cooked food but Allie hadn’t been hungry all day.
It was funny how hard this was. She’d discussed it with Sylvain last night after all the kissing, and thought about it more when she couldn’t sleep later that night.
She’d thought she knew just what she had to say. But now that Rachel was here, she wasn’t sure at all.
Night School: Resistance (Night School 4)
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