chapter Twenty - four
At home that evening, I sat on the edge of my bed staring at the walls, the Holiday Pageant playing over in my mind like a horrible dream. I could still see Baron and Sybil scrambling, could still hear their screams. It wasn't funny now. It was tragic. Someone had tried to kill my best friend.
Perhaps my laughter had been some sort of defense mechanism for handling pain, I told myself. Yes, that was it! I wasn't chuckling over my friend's near demise; I was dealing with the pain of her near-death experience.
My thoughts moved to the room beneath the pit, where I could still see Baron comforting her.
Well why wouldn't he comfort her? Stupid fools nearly got themselves killed. They deserve each other.
A tiny smile appeared on my lips.
Stop it! That's not funny.
Yes, it is. Can you imagine geeky Baron actually being somebody's boyfriend? Who'd want him? And you definitely don't need a geek like him comforting you.
I don't?
Of course not. Your boyfriend is the cutest, most popular boy in school--Dirk Conrad. Now all you have to do is keep your mind on the manifesto--chairman of all the important committees, a boyfriend, popularity. That's what's important You should be glad that the Amanda zombie didn't bite you. You're better than her.
I was the most popular girl at Salesian High. Forget about Sybil, Baron, and Amanda. I didn't need any of them. My thoughts found solace in the dark place.
I went to the living room, where Dirk was watching reruns of Fear Factor with my parents. He was sitting on the couch next to my father, a takeout box of ribs between them.
"Is everything all right, dear?" my mother asked.
"Yes. Dirk and I just need to practice for our big dance, in case I'm crowned winter queen next Friday night."
"Your father and I are so proud of you," my mother said. Her words caught me off guard.
"Urnm, thanks."
"You're so popular all of a sudden. Your father and I always knew you would be. You're an amazing young lady."
"You think I'm... amazing?" A small smile appeared on my lips.
She looked at me as if my question was totally ridiculous. "Are you sure you're all right?"
"Yeah." Then I said, "Mom, what was it like when you were in high school?"
She shook her head and laughed. "I wouldn't wish for that again,"
"Why not?"
She thought about it a moment. "I wasn't popular like you when I was in high school. Look at you--running for queen of
the Winter Dance. And I didn't have a good friend like Sybil, and a boyfriend..." She laughed as if it was a ridiculous notion. "I wasn't sure of myself, like you are. High school for me was not fun."
In that moment I felt as though I was living a lie. I dismissed the thought.
"You're having a great time in high school, and we're happy for that. Just remember what's important, dear."
And now, yet another brief note to parents: Stop being so cryptic with your advice to us. "Keep your head on straight." "Remember what's important." If our response to your words of wisdom is a smile and a nod, we have no idea what you're talking about.
I smiled and nodded.
"Ooh, look, they're eating giant beetles," she called, pointing to the TV. Her attention shifted back to the show.
I took Dirk by the hand and led him away.
"Leave your door open!" my father called.
Back in my room, I attempted to get Dirk to take me in his arms. He tried to bite me.
"Listen to me, Dirk," I said, stepping away. "I know these past weeks together must mean something to you. And that beneath the zombie haze that's fogged up your brain, you really care for me. So I need for you to concentrate right now. Okay?"
I thought of my mother's words: "I wasn't popular like you when I was in high school."
"Just imagine you and me, the king and queen of the Winter Dance, dancing across the gymnasium floor, with the entire student body--Amanda, Sybil, Baron--all looking on. The most popular kids at school-- us. Wouldn't that be fabulous?"
"Mmmm."
Was that a grunt of recognition? Am I getting through to him?
"Okay. Then we have to do this." I inched closer and gingerly placed myself in his arms. That's it," I said softly. I began to hum "Wonderful Tonight." It was the perfect song for a queen's dance.
Dirk folded me into his arms, allowing me to lead him awkwardly into a dance. We bumped into my desk, the dresser, my bed, but we were dancing. I closed my eyes, and was whisked away to the Winter Dance, gliding gracefully across the floor, every jealous eye in the house on me, while Eric Clapton captured my feelings so perfectly, singing of the beautiful lady on his arm who looked wonderful tonight.
Dirk's grip tightened.
"Ease up, Dirk, you're hurting me."
"Mmmmmahhh!" His lips parted and began moving toward my shoulder.
"No, Dirk! Concentrate!"
His arms were like vise grips, squeezing tighter and tighter. I struggled in his grasp, but he was too strong. There was no way I could escape. Saliva drizzled from his hungry lips, onto my shoulder and down my arm. I pulled the newspaper from my waistband, and swatted him across the nose.
"Yeeeeee!" His head snapped back instantly. He released me and retreated across the room, cowering onto my bed.
I looked at Dirk, saw the fear in his crimson eyes.
Is this the boyfriend I'd dreamed of all through junior high?
Tears welled up in my eyes as thoughts of Baron and Sybil holding hands, Amanda and her Twigettes rejecting me, fired through. I was the most popular girl at school, and yet I felt invisible.
"We'll show them." My lips were trembhng.
I pulled a few meat scraps from the Baggie on my desk. Then I moved to the bed and held my arms open wide. "Come, darling," I called softly. "Let's try it again."