“You would if you liked Jane,” I shot back, but he rolled his eyes.
“You know that’s not true. I stood up for and helped her every chance I had,” Jack said. “I don’t want you to get yourself killed or to do something you regret.”
The French doors off the patio slammed shut, and Matilda barked a greeting as people walked inside. Jack didn’t say anything for a minute, and I knew he was holding something back.
“What’s going on here?” Milo asked, noticing the tension between us.
“What is going on here?” Leif repeated. He moved towards Milo and me but kept his eyes locked on Jack. Jack shifted uneasily under Leif’s stony glare.
“Your sister thinks it’s a good idea to handle Jane’s killer herself,” Jack said, and both Leif and Milo instantly turned back at me.
“You just promised me you wouldn’t!” Milo yelled.
“Yeah but…” I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Alice, I can’t believe you would do that! You lied to me!” Milo sounded genuinely hurt, and I groaned and flopped back on the couch. Any fight I had in me had completely gone out.
“It’s not that dangerous. I don’t know why you guys keep acting like it is. It’s not like I’m human or something,” I said, and Milo looked over at Bobby.
“I had nothing to do with it!” Bobby offered up quickly, and I didn’t blame him. If I could lie about my own involvement, I totally would.
“You lied about it, so you knew it was wrong.” Milo turned back to me. “You knew it!”
“I knew you would be mad, but you’ve got no reason to be mad! I can handle myself!” I looked up at him.
“Alice, you’re just a child,” Leif shook his head.
“Whatever. I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.” I brushed past them, preparing to storm out.
“Alice!” Jack ran after me, out onto the patio. The icy night wind whipped over us, nearly taking my breath away. “Alice!” When I didn’t stop, Jack grabbed my arm, forcing me to look at him. “What is going on with you?”
“You already know what’s going on with me.”
“No, I don’t.” He furrowed his brow, confused and hurt. “You’ve been so distant lately, and I know you’re hurting over Jane but… this feels like something different. And now you’re sneaking around and hiding things from me.”
“I’m not hiding things from you!” I snapped.
“Then what do you call a secret murder investigation?”
“You don’t understand.” I shook my head. “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
“What don’t I understand?”
“Why I need to have something for myself!” I tried to pull my arm away from him, but he wouldn’t let go.
“This isn’t the kind of thing you have yourself. It’s not ‘alone time’ or a ‘hobby. This is dangerous, Alice, and stupid.”
“Let her go,” Leif said, his voice startlingly firm. He stood just inside the open French door, watching me and Jack argue.
“She’s fine,” Jack said, but he let go of my arm. I didn’t move away, though. I kinda wanted to leave, to spite him, but I didn’t want Leif to think that Jack was actually hurting me.
“I think you should give her some space.” Leif walked out onto the patio, his bare feet leaving footprints in the snow.
“Why are you even here?” Jack asked, apparently growing weary of him.
“Give it a rest, Jack,” I said. “He doesn’t mean anything by it.”
Jack looked back at me, assessing me for something I didn’t understand. After a moment, he sighed and shook his head.
“Fine. I’m going in the house. Have all the space you want.” Jack went back into the house without even glancing back at me.
“Are you okay?” Leif asked, stepping closer to me.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I forced a smile at him. “Jack wasn’t hurting me.”
“You don’t need to make excuses for him.” Leif put his hands in his pockets and looked intently at me.
“I’m not. He’s… We’re just going through something.” I shook my head. “I’m going through something, so that means he is too. I just wish I knew what it was.”
“Maybe you should talk to him about it. Or Milo,” Leif suggested.
“I can’t talk to Milo.” I wrapped my arms around myself and stared at the black lake behind us.
“He’s your brother and he cares about you, a lot.”
“I know. This is just… complicated,” I sighed. “Forever is a really long time, you know? What do you do with forever?”
“The same thing you do when you don’t have forever.” He smiled wanly. “Live.”
“That’s a bit simplistic.”
“But at least you have Milo. You know you’ll have somebody that will always care about you and always have your back. That’s important.”
I looked past Leif into the house. In the warm glow of the dining room, I could see Milo and Bobby talking. The wind almost drowned out their voices, but I could barely make Bobby out, denying he knew anything that I was up to. Milo’s face was etched with worry, thinking of what kind of trouble Bobby and I could get ourselves into.