“Yes, life is terribly rough for you,” Ezra said dryly.
“No, I didn’t mean that.” I sighed. “I thought all I wanted was to be with Jack, and then my life would be complete. We could live happily ever after. And I do love Jack, and I want to be with him. But now that I have this, and I’m realizing exactly how long happily ever after goes on for, and… I don’t know what to do.”
“You need a purpose,” Ezra said knowingly, and I looked up at him
“Yeah, I do,” I nodded. “How do you do it? When you have forever, how do you… fill it? Endless games of solitaire?”
“Your concept of time will change.” He sat down on the sofa next to me. “Eventually, it moves faster, and it tends to blur together, so years feel like weeks.”
“And that’s how you make it through?”
“Sometimes.” His mahogany eyes went far away for a moment, but he took a deep breath and it vanished. “But you have to learn to enjoy the moments you’re in, to treasure the things around you. It’s the fleetingness of life that gives it its value, and even though we’re here forever, nothing else is.”
“So you’re saying that I should relish the things that will die?” I asked. “That death equates happiness?”
“Not exactly.” He leaned back and exhaled. “The problem with giving someone the choice to become a vampire is that it isn’t really a choice. You don’t really understand what you’re agreeing to. You can’t possibly fathom what eternity feels like.”
“I’m not seeing much in the way of advice in that sentiment.”
“Loving another person, even several people, will make your life fuller.” Ezra looked at me, resting his deep eyes on mine. “But it will not make it complete. You have to do that. You must decide what you live for.”
“So… you brought me text books?” I held them up, and he gave a bemused chuckle.
“No, I gave you text books because I want you to have all the tools you need to do whatever it is you decide to do, and knowledge truly is the most powerful tool.”
“What are you doing?” Milo yawned and walked into the living room.
“Oh my gosh, you’re like the Pavlov’s dog of geeks,” I laughed. “I say the word text books, and you come running.”
“Are you going to school?” Milo’s eyes widened with excitement.
“Well, Ezra’s tutoring me, I guess, if that counts,” I said.
“Oh that’s fantastic!” Milo clapped his hands together and rushed over to the couch. “Let me see!” He snatched the books from my hands, not that I really put up a fight.
“Read the first three chapters in both books,” Ezra told me as Milo flipped through the books and gushed over it. “We’ll talk about them tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” I asked. “I have to train with Olivia tonight. I won’t have time.”
“Make time.” Ezra used that tone he did when he meant business. It wasn’t loud or gruff, but it was firm enough where I knew not to argue with it.
“Oh come on, Alice, it’ll be fun!” Milo said with far too much glee. “This’ll be so good for you. And you don’t even have to get up early. It’s way better than what I’m doing.”
“Good luck.” Ezra stood up and smiled down at me.
“Hey, wait. Why did you pick these books?” I asked. “I mean, the history I kinda understand. But why an anatomy text?”
“You said you wanted to be a doctor.” Ezra shrugged. “I thought it might pique your interest.”
He left me alone with Milo, who immediately launched into the history book. Shock of all shocks, Milo happened to be a history buff. He especially liked the really old stuff, like about Mesopotamia and early civilization, but all history fascinated him.
“If we don’t learn from our mistakes, we’ll be doomed to repeat them,” Milo said when he noticed my interest waning. “You need to know what other people did so you don’t do it.”
“That’s really good advice, but it’s not like I plan on ever leading a revolution or anything,” I said.
“You might,” Milo smiled. “We’re gonna be around for a long time. Who knows what you’ll end up doing.”
I studied with Milo for two more hours, but thankfully, Bobby came home and rescued me. He’d been working on some dramatic arts piece, and it ended up running late.
At first, I was relieved to see Bobby. I tried to engage him in real conversation, since Milo’s incessant talk of history turned my mind to mush. But almost immediately after Bobby got home, they started making out.
It was just as well, since I had to get ready to go over to Olivia’s. I showered and dressed, and when I left, Milo and Bobby were still in the living room, whispering sweet nothings to each other.