“Sorry. I just came in to grab a few things,” Peter said and hurried into his bathroom. Since Jane had taken over his room, he was going to sleep on the couch tonight, and if he was getting ready for bed, it meant that it must be late.
“You should probably go get some rest yourself,” Mae told me. “I’ll stay with Jane and make sure she’s alright. It won’t do her any good if you stay up all day exhausting yourself.”
“You’ll let me know if something happens?” I chewed my lip. For some reason, I thought that when I stopped watching her, that’s when she’d stop breathing.
“I’m just across the hall from you,” Mae smiled at me. “She’ll be just fine, love. I can feel it.”
Reluctantly, I went out into the hall and shut the bedroom door behind me. I stood right outside it, listening for a minute, and when her heart kept beating, I started to believe that maybe she wasn’t going to die right then.
I let out a sigh of relief that sounded suspiciously like a sob, and I took another deep breath to try to keep back the tears. Peter came out of his room and almost bumped into me, since I hadn’t bothered to a step away from the door.
“Oh, Alice, sorry!” Peter put his hand on my back, as if I was stumbling and needed him to stabilize me.
“No, it’s okay.” I shook my head and swallowed hard
“Are you alright?” He lowered his head, trying to look me in the eyes, but I looked away.
“Yeah, no, everything’s great.” I forced a smile, and my vision blurred from the tears. “I mean, why wouldn’t it be? I almost got my best friend and my brother’s boyfriend killed. Not to mention, I have no idea where my own boyfriend is because I drove him away. But yeah, everything is just great!” Tears slipped down my cheeks, and I wiped them away.
“What happened to Jane isn’t your fault,” he said quietly.
“Yes it is! I’m the one who introduced her to vampires!” I gestured widely to the hallway. “Everything I touch gets destroyed! I mean, you had this stable family, and I came in, and I’m just tearing it apart! You and Jack, and now Mae and Ezra, and I know that’s not directly my fault, but it is! It’s my fault by association! I’m the harbinger of doom!”
I expected Peter to tell me that I was being melodramatic and tell me in a very condescending way that none of that was my fault. Even I knew it was pretty egotistical to assume that the only bad things that happened in life happened because of me.
But instead he looked at me with the utmost sympathy and affection. I had never seen him look so gentle, and whenever he softened, he was almost blindingly attractive.
When he reached out and pulled me into his arms, I knew that I should pull away, but I didn’t really have the strength for it. He held me to him, and I buried my face in his chest. I just wanted to sob, and I wanted someone to hold me. Peter’s arms were wonderfully strong, and it felt so good and safe that I almost lost myself in them.
“Honestly, Alice, everything is going to be alright,” he murmured into my hair.
“I wish I could believe you,” I whispered. My tears were calming down, but I left my head pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
“Peter!” Ezra suddenly boomed, sounding as if he was standing directly at the bottom of the stairs.
He broke whatever moment I had with Peter, and I realized how incredibly inappropriate and dangerous it was to let him hug me, even if I needed a hug. I pulled away from him and looked at the ground. Peter just turned and went downstairs to see what Ezra wanted, and I slunk back to Jack’s room.
Matilda lay on Jack’s bed, looking very sad, and I climbed in next to her. I rested my head on her back and ran my fingers through her thick white fur. She whimpered a little, and I knew that she missed him too. But there was nothing I could do about it.
Although, I was starting to think it was maybe for the best that he left. Clearly, I wasn’t good enough for him.
Mae woke me up a few hours later. I sat up with a start, but she smiled wanly at me in the dark. “Jane is awake.”
- 27 -
Jane didn’t look any better, and she didn’t seem entirely alert. Mae had helped prop her up with a couple pillows. Her eyes were dull blue, almost glassy, and her expression was completely blank. She didn’t look happy or angry to be alive, but she watched me with kind of a subdued fascination. I think it was still hard for her to get used to the idea that I was prettier than her, even when I’d just woken up.
“Hey,” I said. I stood awkwardly off to the side of the bed and pushed a dark strand of hair behind my ears. “How you feeling?”
“How does it look like I’m feeling?” Jane asked.
“Oh, she’s doing just fine,” Mae said before I could reply. A glass of water sat on the nightstand, and Mae handed it to Jane. She gave Mae a bored look, but she took it anyway, taking a long drink. “She’s been through a lot lately.”