chapter Eighteen
Bahlin and I set everything to rights yet again. I kept glancing at him, and he finally sighed. “Is there something else you’d like to know about me, pet?”
It was humiliating, but I wouldn’t rest until I knew. “Hwmnywmn?” I muttered, turning away from him.
“Pardon?”
“Oh don’t go being all polite. You heard me!”
“What I heard, Maddy, sounded like you need a decongestant and a day in bed, if not a priest to read your Last Rights. Now come clean before I fetch the priest.”
“Fine. How many women, Bahlin?”
“Ah. To be fair, that’s not fair.” He smiled. I didn’t. “Okay. I honestly don’t know. I spent years trying to prove that I wouldn’t be the fool the prophecy foretold.”
“Okay.”
“Just okay? You berate me, chastise me, dump me and then love me over a prophecy beyond my control, but you just accept the women I’ve known?”
“Look, you did more than know them, buddy. But it’s irrelevant.”
“Goddess knows I’m afraid to ask, but why in the world is it irrelevant?”
I looked down, but he grabbed my chin and lifted my face, moving close enough that I could see only him. “Because you’ve loved only me,” I whispered.
“Too true.” He moved behind me, took me by the arms and backed me into the chair. Once he had me sitting, he began rubbing my shoulders.
I leaned my head against him, and he sighed before I realized I’d laid the back of my head against his groin. I left it there, as much to torment him as me. Thoughts were swirling all around in my head, and I was getting that sickening feeling in my gut again. I’d been over Hellion’s reasons a hundred times, and I’d even spoken to him. But he’d appeared shocked this morning when I spoke to him about Imeena’s disappearance. He had displayed none of the physical signs of lying—quickened breathing, dilated pupils, shifty eyes, fidgeting—and had, in fact, done everything to make me think he was sincere, right down to offering to scry for us.
“Bahlin?”
“Hmm?”
“If Hellion were to scry for the killer, and it was him, would he identify himself?” I asked.
“Bloody brilliant,” Bahlin yelled, yanking me up and spinning me around in his arms to lay a loud, smacking kiss on my lips. He dropped me to my feet and I stumbled, but I managed to recover and save a little face, sitting back down to watch him. He strode over to his laptop bag and pulled out a cell phone. Dialing a few numbers, he spoke tersely when the recipient answered.
“Meet me at the Glendale on St. George Street. Agreed. How soon can you be here?” Bahlin paced, biting the thumbnail of his left hand. I idly wondered if his dragon claw would be shorter on that hand when he changed. “Fine. Room 1810. Come alone and don’t send one of your coven for this.” He clicked the phone shut and turned to face me.
“Hellion will be here before the end of the day. We’ll have our answer by tonight and, if need be, I’ll kill him myself.”
I blanched, and Bahlin rushed to my side. “Gads. I’m sorry, Maddy. That was bloody inconsiderate of me. He’s going to bring his scrying tools, and we’ll ask very specific questions to determine his innocence. But if he’s our killer, we won’t have the opportunity to issue a death warrant and wait for his coven to carry it out.”
“How are dragons killed, Bahlin?” I asked in a small, pained voice. “Because I won’t risk losing you over this. Not if we can wait on his coven to carry out the sentence.”
“Let’s wait and see if he’s guilty first, okay?” He smoothed my hair and shifted me out of the chair before pulling me into his lap. The poor piece of furniture groaned, and Bahlin chuckled. He stood and carried me to the bed, laying me down and crawling on top of me, trapping my thighs between his. He leaned in and kissed me tenderly, but I recognized his diversion strategies at this point.
“Bahlin?” I asked into his mouth, refusing to succumb to temptation. “Bay.”
“Bloody hell, woman. You make it inconceivably difficult to seduce you.”
“Stuff a sock in it. How are dragons killed? And don’t kiss me again until you’ve answered me.” I struggled to regain my arms from where he’d pinned them over my head, and I crossed them over my chest in an image of pure defiance.
He sighed, and I knew I’d won.
“Dragons in human form can be killed like any other human. With the exception of our strength, speed and unnatural ability to heal, we’re human for all intents and purposes. Of course, you’d never want an autopsy performed on one of us because underneath it we’re very different, but you get the point.”
“And in dragon form?” I pressed.
“That’s a different story. Our bodies are incredibly difficult to kill. There is one small scale missing over our heart that can be pierced by arrow or blade or magic that will kill us. Otherwise our scales are relatively impervious to attack. Our eyes are our weakest point, though in battle we rely on all of our senses to, ah, take down our enemies. To answer your question, we’re very hard to kill.”
“Do you breathe fire?”
“I do. Not all dragons do, but my weyr is one that is so gifted. Why?” he asked.
“Can you do it now?” I asked, curious. Truth was turning out to be better than fiction.
He smiled and a small stream of smoke snuck out of one nostril and rose through the air. “I could, but we’d not get our deposit back on this fine room.”
I laughed, delighted. “Good to know. Can you shift into your dragon-hybrid form and cloak yourself when Hellion gets here? I want to meet with him alone, but I want you near. Cling to the side of the building or something, but give me some time alone with him, okay?”
“No.”
“It’s not up for debate, Bay. I’ll meet with him here or I’ll meet with him in the lobby and ask him to do what he can to cloak us there.” I sat up, pushing at his chest. “You’ve got to let me do my job.”
“Damn it all to hell, Maddy. Can you not give me something? What if I armed myself prior to his arrival?” he asked, desperation tingeing his words.
“How?” I asked, squinting at him.
He closed his eyes and when they opened they’d shifted. He smiled, and I did what I could to scramble back from him. His mouth was full of razor sharp teeth, and he motioned for me to follow him to the bathroom.
I did, keeping a small distance between us.
He turned on the shower and blew a small fireball into the streaming water. It hissed as it dissolved into smoke. His voice was guttural and he had difficulty talking with his reformed jaw, but I understood him when he said, “I am not without defenses, Niteclif.”
Listening to him speak, I realized for the first time that his dragon occupied a different part of his brain than his human form did. It was as if the monster couldn’t totally reconcile the man and vice versa. Not comforting.
“Bay?” I whispered, and he nodded his head, never taking his eyes off me. “You can stay. Just don’t eat me.”
“No promises,” he growled, and I didn’t know if he was making a joke with sexual overtones or if he was being serious. Scary, that.
The sun had just set, and I was getting antsy when there was a knock at the door. Bahlin went into the bathroom to metamorphose into what I was now calling Scary Bahlin while I went for the door. My dragon had given me a dagger that looked suspiciously like the one I’d used to kill Gretta with. It was taped to the small of my back and the skin was raw where Bahlin had insisted I practice ripping it away from my body and stabbing out with it.
“Good evening. Killed anyone else lately?” Hellion’s voice was deceptively light as he brushed passed me and walked into the room. “And where is your lovely companion tonight?” He glanced around the room, and Bahlin chose that moment to open the door.
He’d changed, all right. His jaw was longer than even this afternoon, and his eyes were more almond-shaped in his face. His skin had a very slight blue hue to it, as if the scales of the dragon were peeking out from underneath. His hands had become bonier, and his nails were more pointed than before. Obviously lover boy hadn’t been totally forthcoming this afternoon.
“Don’t trust me, then?” Hellion asked. “Well, the feeling’s mutual.” With a rush of wind a circle scorched into the carpet at his feet. “Sorry about your room deposit, mate.”
Bahlin walked toward the circle and reached out a hand to touch Hellion. Before he made it to the wizard, the circle sparked and Bahlin gasped, yanking his hand back.
“No one who had any responsibility in Gretta’s death may cross this circle.” He turned to look at me. “Come ahead, woman. I’m curious to know how far you’ll get.”
I walked up to him, knowing I was about to get the shit shocked out of me. Bahlin made a grab for me and I jerked away from him, my right elbow reaching the circle accidentally. The shock blew my arm back and made it feel like my shoulder had dislocated. The entire arm went numb, but I knew it was going to hurt like hell when the pins-and-needles phase of Hellion’s little spell passed.
“Ah. There’s the answer I needed.” Hellion sat on the floor and took out a small crystal suspended on what looked like horsehair, then set a map on the floor. He marked the hotel’s location and asked us for the room key, explaining that, as a control, he’d put the room key on the opposite side of the map. If he was the guilty party, the crystal would clearly swing back and forth between the two points and he would not be able to hide that.
Bahlin crouched down next to the circle, careful to keep his distance.
Hellion began allowing the crystal to swing freely over the map in an ever-broadening circle. Nothing happened, and he cursed, setting the crystal down.
“Niteclif.” His tone demanded absolute obedience, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he knew nothing about me at all.
“What?” I said through clenched teeth, my jaw not moving.
“You’re going to have to make a small blood donation.”
I looked at him, then at Bahlin and Hellion barked out, “Now.”
“Look, asshat, I don’t open a vein for anybody without a reason, and that includes my doctor. So pony up the excuse, and we’ll see.”
“I need your blood to break whatever concealment spells are in place. If you’re truly the Niteclif, as everyone believes, your blood will empower the spell and I’ll be able to identify the killer’s location. Without your blood? This is a waste of our mutual efforts. I can hate you from afar. I’ve no need to stand so close to you and your winged mutt.”
I held my hand out to Bahlin. “Use your claw and take it from forearm. It hurts less than the hand.” More trivia from the Niteclif Evolution. Shaking my head, I silently wished that some of the knowledge that had come to me had been more useful.
My dragon grunted in acquiescence, roughly gripping my wrist and holding it out in front of me. With a small slashing motion, he made a shallow cut. I hissed out a breath as he held my arm close to the circle.
Hellion reached through the circle with a wash of green light and rubbed the crystal across the wound. Drawing the crystal back through the circle seemed to take more concentration.
“Blood makes magic stronger,” Bahlin growled, his mouth too full of teeth for normal speech so his enunciation wasn’t clear.
The crystal began to spin in a rapidly diminishing circle over the map, moving farther and farther toward what looked like the suburbs and then the countryside of Edinburgh. With vibrating intent, the crystal stopped, the horsehair taut, over a finite point on the map.
Hellion looked up and smiled. “Castle Duncan.”
Hellion left after giving his sworn oath that he wouldn’t disclose anything he’d learned during the scrying to anyone, not even the Council.
I lay on the bed, miserable. Tyr’s voice repeated over and over in my head. “Reassurance that what you know to be true will not kill you.” Bahlin had gone deadly still when I told him what I suspected. But he’d insisted I go through the motions after Hellion left, sorting out the how and why of the crime. I had, and now I had my killer—Tarrek. It was what I knew to be true, and I knew from Tyr’s warning that Tarrek would try to kill me. I wanted to go to Castle Duncan immediately and demand answers. Bahlin refused to go tonight.
He’d had gone into the bathroom to take a quick shower before we left, claiming he felt out of sorts following his partial shift, healing my arm before closing the bathroom door behind him. I suspected he just wanted to give me some time alone to sort out my mind.
I drifted in and out of consciousness, unaware of the passing of time. Tyr’s voice stirred me and I sat up, disoriented.
“Maddy, we must speak.” He looked at me with such compassion.
I wanted to beg him to take this burden from me, but I knew that the time was coming when I’d have to issue my findings and condemn Tarrek to death and no one, not even Tyr, could relieve my responsibility.
“Why?” I croaked.
“You know why. Your logic is unassailable. Would it make you feel better to go over it with me? To assure you that you’ve missed nothing?” he asked, walking over to the bed and sitting next to me.
I scooted over to give him more room. “Please,” I choked out, the tears lodged in my throat.
“Tell me what you’ve discerned, dear girl, and I will do what I can to aid you.”
“Tarrek and Bahlin have struggled against each other for hundreds of years, challenging each other for the leadership role on the High Council. Tarrek said to me the first night I met him that neither he nor Bahlin ruled, though they both attempted to lead. It didn’t mean much to me at the time.” I glanced over at Tyr, my eyes begging for some type of forgiveness that wasn’t his to give.
He looked at me tenderly and said, “And why should it have? Go on, Maddy.”
“That same night, Tarrek warned me on our way to the sithen that I would find that not all that was beautiful was soft, and not all that was visually unpleasing was harsh. I thought nothing of it. I didn’t think it applied to him. But he was warning me, wasn’t he?” I asked Tyr.
“He wanted you to know about the prophecy, but he wasn’t brave enough to tell you. He counted on Bahlin’s sense of honor to do that and more to drive you back to him, thus leaving Bahlin the jilted suitor.” Tyr ran his hand down the front of my face, forcing me to close my eyes. With two fingers he began to massage my brow, forcing the muscles to relax. “But what Tarrek never considered was that Bahlin would truly love you, Maddy. The thought of losing you was too much for him to shoulder. So he took the coward’s way for the first time in his life, and he waited for someone else to carry the truth to you. It almost cost him the love of his life, though, and I’m willing to place strong odds that he’s learned his lesson. We’ll not discuss the second part of the prophecy, so don’t ask.”
“Fine,” I bit out. I thought about how to phrase the next part, and I just couldn’t come up with a way that didn’t make me sound self-important. “Forgive me for sounding arrogant, but…”
“Out with it, kid,” Tyr said, sounding for all the world like my father. My eyes squinted shut as I held on to the voice. “Would you like me to manifest as him, Maddy?”
“No,” I answered without conscious thought. Seeing my father again, when it wasn’t really him, would just be cruel, but I couldn’t deny it was a hard draw on the heart. I saw Bahlin throw open the bathroom door. Apparently I’d shouted out in my sleep. Bahlin padded over to me, wearing only a towel, and gently rubbed my head. It was the strangest feeling, nothing like being in the same plane with him.
“I didn’t think so, but I wanted to give you the option,” Tyr said. “You are a wise woman to love them as they were, Maddy, and not try to hold on to other than their memories.”
I cleared my throat before I said softly, “No offense, but you’d never be him.”
“As I said, wise. Now please, go on.”
I struggled with my heart and mind to let go of the want to see my dad’s image again. It was the greatest act of will I’d ever accomplished. “Tarrek instructed Maddox to kill me. This way, if there was no Niteclif, there would be no real punishment. Like Bahlin said, without a Niteclif, chaos reigned. Jossel was killed not for any special power, but because he overheard the discussion between the fae. That’s why his body has never shown up. Maddox just did away with it.”
“And the attempted murder of the Niteclif?” Tyr prompted. He continued to rub my forehead, and the thoughts seemed to come easier for the contact.
“Tarrek put up the runes to help ensure Maddox’s success. When Maddox failed to kill me, Tarrek was furious. When I was taken to the sithen, he couldn’t risk that I would wake up and identify Maddox while Maddox was still alive. So he stayed with me, day and night, and had his lover, Gretta, make a poison draught to kill me. When I awoke and announced the shooter in front of both him and Bahlin, he had to kill Maddox for fear that Maddox would turn him in as the plotter. So he left, ostensibly to go tell his parents of Maddox’s treachery, but he was gone too long. He did tell his parents of Maddox’s sentence, but not before he killed him and ordered someone to dispose of the body. When Gretta took it upon herself to attempt to kill me after the meeting and she was killed, he must have been very angry.”
“The heavens shook with his wrath,” Tyr said in all seriousness. “He’s a powerful member of the Tuatha de Dannan, Maddy. You cannot underestimate him, especially within his own sithen. There he is nearly undefeatable. You must do all you can to prevent him returning there, for I fear his parents will not turn him over to justice.”
I nodded, afraid of the same thing though with no justifiable reason other than the fierceness of Tarrek’s mother in defending Maddox even after his death sentence.
Tyr motioned for me to continue, saying, “Do not stop again. I believe you have the right of it.”
I nodded, just needing movement. I got up and walked around the room, varying my stride and burning off anxiety I could feel even now. In my sleep I twitched, and Bahlin resumed petting my head. It was slightly distracting.
I picked up my last thread. “When Bahlin and I escaped the sithen, we were out of his immediate reach. He went to the hotel, performed simple magic to disguise himself as Hellion, and destroyed my room looking for the Niteclif family tree. It would have saved him time to know where the room was as he’d been there less than five days prior.
“He reached out to me in a dream walk, intent on testing his power to see if he could kill me in my sleep. What better way to dispose of the Niteclif at this point than to have her show up dead in her lover’s, his nemesis’s, bed? So he came to me, but Bahlin saved me. The ironic thing is, you tried to save me that night, too, didn’t you? You were the light in the forest.”
Tyr shrugged elegantly, watching me as I paused my pacing about the room. “I told you that I would have saved you some of this heartache if I could, Maddy. I meant it. You are a child of my blood, bone of my bone, and I wish you absolutely no ill will. But some things one cannot be saved from.”
I gave a curt nod before continuing, thinking this was sage advice. “Stealing the family tree, Tarrek sent the head to Bahlin’s safe house. The only way he could have broken the wards was to have a dragon working with him, so he’s at least one partner, though I suspect there are more. A bid for power is never a one-man operation.
“The head gave me my first inkling that Tarrek was a suspect. Tarrek had been wearing a short-sword the day I awoke in the sithen. It would have been an ideal time to behead Maddox, and he had the physical strength to do so. When he left the room he was wearing it. When he returned, he wasn’t. He’d also changed clothes. I thought it was for the introduction to his parents, but it was in all probability to discard of bloodied clothes. Tarrek likely had his dragon supporter waiting outside the sithen to dispose of the body. It would have been easy enough to follow Bahlin there and wait for further instructions. Bahlin wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings. He was distressed at my having been shot. Following him would have been easy.
“Bahlin and I fled to his lair. Bahlin said himself that dragons are creatures of magic, so Tarrek would not have been able to dream walk against me while I was there. When we left, and I found out about the prophecy, Tarrek had the opening he needed. He set me up to come to him at Castle Duncan, but he couldn’t contain his rage when he found out I’d been intimate with Bahlin. It meant he’d never rule the Council as it stood.”
“True,” said Tyr. “And Meyla actually withheld the second part of the prophecy, so he has no idea that there was another chance for him.”
I stumbled to a stop and stared at Tyr. “I don’t want it to be true.”
“You didn’t want Tarrek to be guilty, either. But we must follow behind the choices we make. Have you made all your choices for the future?” he asked.
“No.”
“There you have it. Do not ask me more. Finish this, Maddy, for the night progresses and the closer to the full moon we draw, the more violent he will become.”
“Okay. The thing I have working most in my favor is that Tarrek won’t know that Bahlin and I have reconnected. He will assume that I’ll be coming to him alone.”
Tyr nodded and patted the bed. I shook my head and stood there a moment longer. He sighed and said, “Tell me quickly, why did Tarrek kill the creatures?”
“That’s the strange part.” I’d begun to quiver at this point. “He has magic, so it’s not for that. He’s not immortal though he’ll live for thousands of years. The cú sith was taken for its nose to discern truth. The far durrig was taken so he could generate his own luck. The Seer so that he could discern the future in case luck failed. Imeena was taken so he might become truly immortal.” This next was the part that bothered me the most. “And Bahlin? He wants Bahlin so that he’ll be more knowledgeable and powerful than any other leader in the world.” Fine quivers had developed into shakes, and Tyr again motioned for me to come and lie down next to him. I walked back to the bed and laid down on my stomach, thinking Tyr would have been a wonderful grandfather to have in real life. Tyr began to massage my head with his one free hand, and I slowly relaxed. I smiled sleepily, reassured for the first time since I’d lost my parents that I belonged to someone, that I was someone’s beloved. Something in that last sentence haunted me, and I was tense again.
“Ah, so you have it. Tell me, Maddy, what else did the cú sith’s nose do?” Tyr asked, never relenting in his massage of my scalp.
“It stole the souls of the living,” I whispered, my mind feeling sluggish. Stole the souls of the living, beloved, hands held out in pleading supplication… I shot off the bed and screamed, Bahlin catching me and throwing me bodily behind him, whipping his towel off and crouching low. He stood naked and vengeful, like a fallen god, between me and an unseen threat.
“Bahlin.” My voice was harsh, pleading. “Bahlin.”
He spun on his heel and took four huge strides toward me and, reaching me, crushed me to him, seeking to protect me from fear itself. In that moment I knew, without a doubt, that he would die protecting me if that was what the Fates demanded as payment for the opportunity at true love. I screamed and raged at them, cursing them by name.
“Maddy? Maddy,” Bahlin said, struggling to keep me subdued without hurting me. Finally he threw me on the bed and dropped on top of me, knocking the breath, and the fight, right out of me. “What is it, a ghrá gheal?
I began to cry, great wracking sobs. I was inconsolable.
“Maddy, love, you must tell me what’s happened? Did Tarrek come to you in a dream walk? I’ll kill the bastard,” he hissed, beginning to roll off of me.
But I wrapped my arms and legs around him and refused to let go. “No. You can’t.”
“Begging your pardon, Maddy, but I can and I will,” he said stiffly.
“No, Bay. Tarrek has taken the cú sith.” I was sobbing again, unable to speak.
“A leanbh, we knew that from the start. Why’s it bothering you so?” He stroked my back, going up to his knees so he was kneeling on the bed. Still I clung to him like a barnacle to a whale.
“One of the cú sith’s abilities is to steal the souls of the living. If Tarrek controls the souls, he’ll control the beings. I’ve seen it, Bahlin. In the dreams I had before I came over here, before the evolution. I just didn’t know what I was seeing. There were bodies, and I thought they were dead, but they weren’t. They were soulless, and they were holding out there hands to me in a cry for help. Don’t you see? They were begging me to save them. He’s building a soulless supernatural army, Bahlin.”
“Oh, great gods.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
Bahlin and I sat clinging to each other for a while, darkness pressing against the window.
“I have to call my weyr, Maddy. As put off as I am with my father and my sister, Da’s the Glaaca, and he’ll be able to pull together more members of different clans and get us some help. We can’t call the fae to help, though they’d be bloody useful. There are the vampires, and the witches and wizards. I think we can count on them.” Bahlin set me gently aside and rose to fetch his cell phone, dialing quickly.
I could hear the rings, one…two…three.
“Da? No, no. Look…” and he told them what was happening. “I don’t know,” he said, some time later. Turning to me he asked, “Maddy? Can they be killed?”
“I don’t know, Bay. Can he just get some of the different clans together and meet us somewhere on the Highlands? We need to meet far enough away from Castle Duncan that Tarrek doesn’t suspect us.”
He nodded his head and went back to the conversation. “She’s not sure, Da. I’m thinking fire, but we’re not all so inclined. If we work together, though…” and off they went, strategizing.
Feeling helpless, I curled up on one edge of the bed. If only I could meditate and reach Tyr again I could ask all the things fear had denied me such a short time ago. I closed my eyes and focused on the sounds of the air conditioner, clicking on, clicking off. But after several minutes, I realized it was useless. I opened my eyes and screamed. Bahlin had apparently hung up with his dad and was kneeling on the floor with his face inches from mine.
“Sorry. Sorry,” he said, clasping a hand over my mouth as I sucked in another breath to scream. “I thought you were gone to Tyr, and I wanted to be here to make sure nothing interceded in your dreams. No screaming?”
I shook my head and he removed his hand. I smiled weakly, and he returned the gesture. I’d come to a decision while he was on the phone. If we stood a strong chance of dying, and tonight was our last night together, I wanted it to be special.
“Bay?” I said softly.
He looked at me warily. “Yes?”
“Kiss me?”
“Any time, mo muirnín.”
He leaned in to me, and I tilted my head to meet his. His large hand grasped the back of my skull and he held me just so, our lips brushing against each other with something akin to trepidation, as if we were new to each other. And in a way we were. Because we’d never come together, truly come together, with intent such as this without something hanging over our heads, whether it was my moral fortitude, his blasted prophecy, or simple fear. For the first time it was just the two of us. Yes, life hung in the balance, but war waited in the wings this one night. Tonight, we were center stage.
Bahlin brushed his tongue over my lower lip and I sighed into his mouth, opening and encouraging him to come inside. He took my offer, gently sweeping inside, then sucking playfully on my lower lip and smiling, releasing it with a pop. I smiled back. I looked into his eyes and realized that there was nothing different about Bahlin tonight than there had ever been when he’d taken me to bed. The last tumbler on my heart’s lock fell. I was his. Because despite the fear that he’d deceived me with the words “I love you,” I saw with crystal clarity that he’d been completely honest with me when he said he’d done things this way for his chance at love. I lifted my head out of his hand as I pressed my lips more firmly to his. He kissed me with renewed passion, and I felt his erection swelling formidably against my thigh. Propped on one elbow, he ran his free hand along my ribs and down my hip, and I sighed.
“Say the word and I’ll stop, but say it now,” he said softly into my collarbone and he kissed randomly along my neck, across my T-shirt, and scraped at my nipples through my bra. They pebbled without hesitation or apology, and I involuntarily arched into him.
“Bahlin,” I sighed, and he froze. “What?”
“It’s just, yeh’ve never been so relaxed, mo muirnín, and I’m no’ sure what to make o’ it,” he said gently.
“I want you, and I want tonight to be special in case…” I couldn’t say it. “Just in case.” Tears burned in the back of my throat, and I knew he saw the fear for what it was.
“I love yeh more than life, Madeleine Dylis Niteclif,” he said gruffly, his brogue thick. “But I will no’ have yeh, willing or no, due to fear. I’ll gladly spend the night with yeh, in the same bed, but I’ll no’ take my pleasure until this is done.” He continued kissing his way down my body, unbuttoning my jeans when he reached my waist.
I pushed up, confused. “I thought you said—”
“I said I’d no’ take my pleasure.” He grinned up at me, the wicked corners of his mouth twitching with suppressed laughter even as his eyelids drooped and hung at half mast. “No, I’ll no’ take my pleasure. I said nothin’ aboat yours.”
Dawn came and went. Bahlin and I didn’t move until around noon. We were both naked, and I’d curled up against his side sometime during the night. He had most of the covers bundled about him and he was snoring softly. I grinned at him, remembering every detail of last night. He’d been true to his word and had not once achieved his own release, though there had been a couple of close calls, poor guy. But he’d made sure in every way but intercourse that I’d found my own pleasure…repeatedly.
I peeled the covers back and scooted under, his warmth a shock to my cool skin. He pulled me toward him in his sleep.
“Tha gaol agam ort,” he mumbled and kissed the top of my head.
“I love you, too, Bay.”
He opened a sleepy eye and grinned wickedly.
“Oh no you don’t, lover boy,” I said. “I’m done. Finito. Terminado. Fini.”
“I find it incredibly sexy that you can say finished in three different languages.”
“You’d find it sexy at this point if I did laundry in a mumu with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth and a glass of bourbon in my hand at nine o’clock on a Tuesday morning. You’re out of luck.”
“Hmm. A nicotine-addicted, alcoholic of a housewife? I’ll take one to go.” He dove under the covers and I screeched, scrambling off the bed.
“Damn it, Bahlin, I’m done.” I laughed as he emerged from under the covers looking disgruntled. “I’m sore, baby.”
“What did you just call me?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.
“Sorry. Do you want me to try something else? Drago? Tesoro? Mi amor?”
“No. Baby, while very American, is the first pet name you’ve ever called me. I’d like to keep it.”
He looked so sweet sitting there rumpled in the bed. I loved him so much. I smiled at him.
“Yes,” I said.
“Yes, I can keep it, or yes, something else?” he asked, his browns drawing together with curiosity.
“Yes, something else. If I can still have it.”
“Anything, my heart. What is it you want?”
“My marriage proposal,” I whispered, butterflies roiling in my stomach.
“Come again?” he asked, stunned.
“Unless you’ve changed your mind,” I said, suddenly feeling like a fool. Why had I insisted on ruining a perfectly good thing by wanting more? I wondered, berating myself. I turned away, intent on just dropping it and privately drowning myself in the toilet.
He swept me up in his arms and rained kisses all over my face. “Yes, yes, yes,” he shouted, spinning me in a circle like a mad man.
I looked up at him, my head bouncing around like a maraca as he danced about the room performing some naked Scottish version of Riverdance. It wasn’t pretty.
“I’ll have my ma bring the Elder tonight, and we’ll be bound in front of all the clans. Oh, Maddy, yeh’ve made me so happy.”
“Shouldn’t we wait?” I asked, hating like hell to rain on such a happy moment.
He stopped his maniacal hopping around and set me down. Taking me by the shoulders he said, “No, Maddy. Should the worst happen, I want yeh to have rights to all I own. Yeh’ll never have to worry for money again, and the weyr will owe you their allegiance as my spouse. Yeh’ll be protected until yehr passing.” He cleared his throat and turned away, seeming somehow smaller.
“Bay? What are you not telling me? Please, tell me. Wait.” I stalked around to face him, driving a finger into what, on a human, would have been his solar plexus.
He flinched.
“Is there a prophecy about tonight?” He took a deep breath and I screamed, “Tell me.”
“No, Maddy. It’s just that I’m scared. I’ve finally found yeh, and I don’t want to lose what we have so soon. Forgive me for scarin’ yeh.”
I physically sagged, and he caught me. “Don’t ever do that to me again,” I said. “After we shower we’re going down to the dining room, and we’re going to talk about everything you know, Bay. Prophecies will be our first topic of conversation. Are you clear on this?”
My dragon just smiled.