chapter Fourteen
The sound of raised voices exploded as the door shut and latched behind me with a distinct click. I could hear snippets of the developing argument as I walked down the lane leading from the house. Male voices were raised in anger, interjected now and then with a softer voice—likely Bahlin’s mother. Brylanna’s voice was suspiciously absent.
I had no idea where I was going to go, but I knew I had to get away from here. I picked up the pace, breaking into a slow jog. What had been a lovely night had, appropriately, turned misty and cold. I shivered in my jacket, though whether it was from the chilly night air or my frozen soul was beyond me. I felt like such a fool. I’d done everything Bahlin had told me to do from the moment he’d shown up in my dream. He’d dictated my acceptance of my heritage by manipulating my emotions. He’d set the pace of the investigation by using what he learned of me to influence my decision-making. And he’d coerced me into his bed and wormed his way into my heart by playing on my need to be loved. Worst of all was that I’d fallen for every single bit.
I tripped over an unseen rock and went to my knees. I stayed there for a moment, unable to move, the tears dripping off the end of my nose. When had I started crying? I heard a car start and I scrambled to my feet, brushing my hands off on my jeans. I took a few running steps and realized I’d never make it far enough down the single lane road to pick up another ride before the driver of the car caught up to me. Looking over my shoulder I saw headlights swing away from the garage, twin shafts of light slicing through the night as the car started down the long, desolate drive. I hopped over the low stone fence into the bordering pasture and lay on my stomach, face-down on the ground so that the majority of my pale skin was covered by either clothing or my dark hair. The sound of the car’s engine got closer and closer, finally roaring passed me. I’d made it farther from the house than I’d originally thought. I was relatively certain that Bahlin was driving. If it was him, he was unquestionably looking for me. Fine. Let him look. I lay there on the cold, wet ground and rubbed furiously at my eyes. I didn’t feel I had any room available for new grief in my heart when I hadn’t yet fully processed the grief of losing my parents. Bahlin didn’t deserve to share space with them. Instead, he’d have to settle for being a nasty little black piece of my mind, or a kernel of hate in my gut, or something cold and calculating in my soul. Because my heart was not his. Period.
The car came roaring back down the lane, and I stayed hidden behind the stone fence. I heard gravel scatter as the car ground to a halt in the dooryard of the house, and the driver’s door slammed seconds later. Shouting renewed inside the house, but I was up and moving as soon as I knew the lights of the car were extinguished. I figured if I could get to the road I could either hitch a ride back to the city or find my way into a town where I could rent a car. I jogged slowly away from the house, startling a hare from the feverfew that dotted the field. Cows lowed nearby and in the distance a dog barked, universal country sounds made ominous by the night. This was particularly true considering the cú sith that had been killed, the shapeshifters and vampires I now knew existed, the wizard I knew was hunting me, and the dragon wyvern that was arguing somewhere behind me. I jogged a little faster.
The general quiet made it impossible to ignore the hurt careening through my mind. I’d never felt so betrayed in all my life. The entire High Council had known I’d fall for one of the men, and both Bahlin and Tarrek had tried to influence me into choosing them. Hellion had left me alone, though Gretta had probably had something to do with that. Who would I have chosen had Tarrek been around? I wondered. Because his absence had made Bahlin’s job a great deal easier. I stumbled to a stop. Tarrek’s absence… What if Bahlin had done away with Tarrek? What if Bahlin had set everything up to make it appear he was innocent when in reality he wasn’t? What if he’d had something to do with the murders? It had been all too easy to not look too closely at him when I was in his bed. But now that that was resolved, I probably needed to think about what he stood to gain. Truthfully I couldn’t get my mind in the game at the moment, so I vowed to consider him carefully after a solid night’s sleep and some emotional distance. Of course, that might mean I didn’t get around to him for months. Speaking of the High Council, though, I was never going to make the meeting. Too bad. They’d just have to understand. I choked a bit, picking up the pace. They’d all been in on the joke. I’m sure they’ll understand just fine when they get a new seer to announce that I’ve been used as predicted, I thought, continuing to berate myself for my stupidity as I jogged on.
I rounded a small hill and saw an overhang of rock as the sky transitioned from spitting a heavy mist to dropping a light rain. Grateful that something had gone right tonight, I sprinted for cover. I bent at the waist, flicking water from my hair and shaking out my jacket before I curled up in a small ball, thankful I wasn’t any more wet that I was. Depression rolled around me like a riptide and pulled me under, forcing me into sleep. And without Bahlin’s heartbeat to soothe me, I dreamed.
“Maddy,” said a soft voice behind me. “Maddy, can you hear me?”
I turned, taking in my surroundings as I sought the familiar voice. I was in the small living area of a crofter’s cottage, and it was dark outside. I could hear the rain pattering on the thatched roof, and it was a comforting, homey sound. The room was warm. I was grateful for the heat emanating from the fireplace. Small wooden furniture dotted the room, and a large quilt-covered bed stood in the corner. I was so tired. I took an involuntary step toward the bed before I remembered the voice. I looked at the table and there he was.
“Tarrek!” I took three large steps toward him.
“Stop,” he commanded, and I froze, my momentum so impeded that I took a stumbling step forward before I could right myself, throwing out my arms to regain my balance.
“What is it?” I asked in an alarmed voice, looking around the room again.
“I must ask you—is Bahlin with you?” Something was off. He seemed different, almost gaunt, and his eyes darted around the room like a cornered animal’s.
“No, he’s not here. Why?” I asked.
“The High Council is no longer safe, Maddy. I must insist you keep our conversation private. I am in Scotland somewhere near Castle Duncan. You must come for me before the new moon rises or all is lost. I do not know…” He looked around me and asked, “If Bahlin is not here, where is he?”
I shrugged, uncomfortable. “We’ve had a bit of a parting of ways.” I looked out the pitch-dark windows. It felt like the night was outside looking in. I shivered despite the heat from the fire.
“What happened?” he asked in a deadly voice. “Tell me.” He slapped his hands on the wooden table hard enough to make the jug on the tabletop skip off the doily.
I jumped. Even in the short time I’d known Tarrek I knew this wasn’t like him. “What’s happened to you?”
The wind picked up suddenly, howling about the cottage, rattling the door and windows. I gasped, feeling the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
“Tarrek? What’s going on?” Chills that had nothing to do with the temperature danced up and down my spine as cold sweat collected in my armpits. I stared at the faerie and wondered if he was really who he seemed to be. Was it possible someone was making me think I was seeing Tarrek when I wasn’t? Who was that powerful? Only one name came to mind—Hellion.
“Answer me, woman,” said the figment of my dream. “What has happened between you and Bahlin?”
The wind howled louder.
“We became involved, but he lied to me. Nothing more.” I shrugged, uncomfortable with the turn in the conversation. “Tell me who has taken you and—”
The glass shattered, imploding and skittering in shards across the floor. Tarrek yelled as I screamed. I shot out of sleep as if I’d been catapulted.
I sat up and gasped for air, feeling the residual fear crawling around my gut. My muscles twitched involuntarily, the urge to run primal. Flight was winning over fight, and it felt like it would be a landslide victory. I looked around my shelter, assuring myself that I was indeed still alone. Suddenly there was a great backwash of wind into the tunnel, and I screamed again as Bahlin’s dragon head peered under the rock ledge.
“Motherf*cker!” I reared back and punched him on the soft part of the nose. He hissed and drew back, undoubtedly startled but not even mildly injured. I clutched my throbbing hand, the irony not lost on me that this was the second time I’d punched Bahlin within four conscious days of knowing him.
Bahlin’s dragon form folded away and he was suddenly standing there, gloriously naked in the rain.
“Maddy. Are you alright, love? I heard you shout,” he said, glaring about as if daring even the shadows to threaten me.
“Go to hell, Bahlin,” I growled as I pushed passed him and walked into the encompassing night.
“Maddy—” Bahlin started again, reaching out to lay a hand on my arm.
“Don’t touch me, Bahlin. I meant it earlier. I don’t want anything to do with you, not now, not ever. You’ve lost that right.” I jerked my arm out from under his hand and kept walking.
“Maddy, stop,” Bahlin commanded in a resonating voice. My feet actually faltered, and I swung around to face him.
“If you ever, ever, attempt to command me to do anything again, I will cut your prized possession off and shove it down the gullet of the nearest carnivore, Bahlin, and I’ll make sure he chews. Does that make my feelings clear enough for you? Because obviously you didn’t get it when I said it before.”
He actually paused, squinting at me as the rain ran into his eyes. “Are you going to give me a chance to apologize?” he asked uncomfortably, shifting back and forth in the obvious cold.
I snickered, for once keeping my eyes off his prize without trouble or embarrassment. “Right. You give new meaning to speaking with a forked tongue. Get lost, asshat.” I kept walking across the field, and he followed about ten paces behind. I didn’t acknowledge him until I reached the blacktop. I looked over my shoulder and said, “You might want to phase back and fly your happy ass back to the house, or London, or the third circle of hell for all I care. Just get some clothes on before anyone gets the wrong idea about the two of us.”
I crawled over the fence and a blast of air in the back let me know that Bahlin had taken my advice. He was gone.
I walked for nearly an hour before the lights of an approaching car slowed, the driver’s side window rolling down. A brown-haired man stuck his head out.
“Need a ride?” Aiden asked.
“Yep, but not from you.” I kept walking, ignoring him as he eased along beside me.
“Come on, Maddy. Bahlin feels horrible,” he pushed.
“And you know this after how long in his glorious presence this evening?” As juvenile as it was, I walked faster. I knew I wasn’t actually going to outpace the damn car, but it made me feel better. At this point I’d settle for whatever salve I could find for my wounded pride.
Aiden sped up incrementally until he pulled ahead of me and cut me off. He jumped out and placed himself in front of me before I could get around the bumper of his beat-up little coupe.
“Listen, Maddy. He’s still back at the house rowing with Brylanna and Da. Ma’s taken his side, saying that Da and Brylanna were awful to yeh and this after hearing Bahlin loves yeh, so yeh’ve divided the family whether yeh want to or no. The least yeh can do is afford me a moment of yehr time, right?”
Cheeky little brat had his brother’s habit of speaking in a heavier brogue when he was upset. One thing Brylanna hadn’t touched on in her let’s-make-Maddy-look-like-a-chump speech was how well guilt worked on me.
“You’ve got ninety seconds, junior. Starting now.” I stuck my numb hands in my pants pockets and refused to admit to either of us how much I’d rather have had this conversation in his car with the heater on full blast.
Calming visibly now that he had my attention, Aiden said, “Bahlin is crazy about you, Maddy. He might not have gone about this the right way, but he’s a good man. He’s bucked the Council for you. He admitted he’s taken you to his lair, which is nearly as serious as the wedding vows between dragons, and he’s said he’ll take your side in the case of some murder you’ve committed. And have I mentioned he seriously loves you?” the teen said. “Can you not cut him a little slack for where he is and not hold it against him how he got there?”
Cheeky. Brat. I glared at him, my eyelid twitching again. I slapped my hand over my eye. Great poker face, Niteclif. Why don’t you just take out a billboard that says “Hello, I’m frustrated.” Geeze. But all the internal dialogue in the world couldn’t change what Aiden said. How did a young guy get so smart? It irked me that he had some valid points. Unfortunately my pride was as wounded as my heart, and I wasn’t going to roll over on this. I’d already tried the rolling over, under and around with Bahlin, and it had gotten me nothing but screwed in every sense of the word.
“Look, Aiden, I know you’re trying to look out for Bahlin, and I respect that sense of loyalty. I do,” I said when he just looked at me blandly. “And you don’t know me so you’ll have to trust that what I’m about to tell you is the truth. Bahlin has pulled some serious offenses in my book. I’ve ended long-term relationships for far less than what he’s done to me in a week. He had the opportunity to be honest from the outset, and he chose not to. He chose, Aiden,” I said, taking a step closer to him, eye-level with his chin. The kid was going to be as big as his brother.
Aiden’s eyes flashed to light blue, and he slammed his eyelids closed trying to mask his emotion. But it was too late. I’d seen the switch. It dawned on me that I didn’t know him well enough to know whether or not he’d cause me harm. After all, dragons were monsters and Aiden was a dragon, ergo he was a monster. Loose logic, but there you have it. Right now I had zero faith in the monsters.
“Look, just leave me alone, okay?” I said, stepping around him cautiously. I walked down the road, looking back over my shoulder every few paces.
He leaned back on the hood of his little car and stared at me. “So you won’t forgive him?” he called after me. His voice suddenly sounded so young and unsure, like whatever answer I gave now would help him develop his view of one part of the world. I didn’t want that kind of responsibility. My burdens were heavy enough without it.
I slowed, hating myself a little more, and turned back toward him. I wasn’t going to lie to him. If I’d learned anything in all of this it was that honesty sucks but it was better to just get it out and over with, and that being soft will get you taken advantage of because it was often considered being weak. Being a truthful hard-ass would bruise him now but it would hurt him less in the long run.
“Will I forgive Bahlin? Not yet,” I said softly, “and maybe not ever.”
Another set of headlights topped the hill, and I stepped to the edge of the road and held out a hand. An older woman pulled up next to me and, thankfully, she was a complete stranger.
“Going to town?” she asked cheerfully, taking in the sight of me and Aiden and probably drawing the wrong conclusions. I didn’t care. If she’d get me out of here, she could think whatever she wanted about me.
“I’m going as far as you’ll take me,” I said, conscious not to give my final destination directly within earshot of Aiden. With one last look at Bahlin’s brother I got into the woman’s truck and yanked the door shut. I buckled my seatbelt and stuck my hands in my jacket pockets. My right hand bumped into a heavy object. Wrapping my fingers around the smooth edges, I drew my hand slowly out of the pocket. The gold doubloon glinted merrily in the light from the dashboard.
The woman was going to Uxbridge on the outer West End of London. I rode along in silence, answering her questions early in the ride and feigning sleep later. She clucked over my disheveled state, skillfully asking what had happened without asking what had happened. When I finally said I was exhausted she let the conversation drift, turning on the radio for company and allowing me to rest. She roused me from my false slumber when we reached the center of the borough. I thanked her for her kindness, and she dismissed my thanks with a heartfelt wish for good fortune to me. Thinking on this, I asked her if she would trade me a few pounds for the gold doubloon and she nearly fell out of the truck in her haste to take me up on my offer. I took her money and left the coin without a second thought. After all, no amount of money was worth the painful reminder.
I caught the train into the West End of London and switched routes three times to get back to the Pemberton. I knew I’d have to check out of the hotel or face Bahlin, so checking out it was. I made my way into the hotel with a large group of tourists and hoped that I’d maintained my anonymity. I reached Room 2210 and keyed myself in, grateful I’d managed to snag the key card from the messenger bag as I’d packed up in the cave. Foresight or dumb damn luck? Who cared? I moved quickly about the room, deciding to forgo taking my clothes since everything could be replaced when I got home. I grabbed my purse out of the room safe and headed back down to the front of the hotel. I knew the front desk staff saw me when the three of them gathered together to watch me leave the lobby and one of them snatched the phone up, dialing madly. Tattle tales.
The doorman hailed a cab for me and it had hardly stopped when I crawled in and sat back, content to rest and enjoy the ride to Heathrow. If I could just get out of this forsaken country…
The cabby shook me awake and said, “That’ll be eighteen quid even, miss.”
Disoriented, I dug through my wallet and gave him the fare plus a healthy tip and rushed into the airport. The next flight leaving for New York was in forty-five minutes, so I dashed to the counter, bought the ticket by leaving an arm, a leg and my credit card number, and I ran for the gate. I made it onto the plane with only moments to spare. I walked to my seat, equally grateful and heartbroken. Chaos can reign for all I care. I just need to get back home and start over. I’ll pretend this never happened, repeated through my mind. I was so tired I had a hard time keeping my eyes open for take-off and once we were in the air. I vaguely remember hearing the pilot welcome everyone aboard before sleep took me under with no apologies.