Landed Wings

chapter 7: CONSEQUENCES



ASHLYNN

“So how did it go?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Ash, did something happen down there?”

Ivory and I are sitting in the Sky Park. I’d been sitting on the bench since I’ve come back. I’ve been here so long, my wings and feet numb. I’m not ready to talk to anyone about Mocha and the people down there. Not even Ivory.

“I can’t talk about it.”

“Of course you can.”

“No, Ive, I’m serious. I’m afraid that I…that I’ve done

something, seen something I’m not supposed to.”

“What do you mean, Ash? What could you have seen that you can’t talk about?”

“Just…please Ive don’t push.”

She stays silent for only a second, obviously thinking.

“Ash…I would hope that you know me by now. I’m not like

Persimmon, who would go and tell everyone three seconds after it was out of your mouth. I’m not going to criticize you, or say anything to hurt you. I won’t say anything at all if you don’t want me to. It seems like you need to get it off your chest. I’ll listen, and if you decide you want my advice later then I’ll give it. But I recognize that this is serious to you and I’m not going demean that.”

I can’t help but sigh. She can be so persuasive sometimes.

“Well, as you know, I went down yesterday, well really today, at three. And I was careful. I folded my wings in, but I kept them out of my shirt just in case I had to make a quick getaway. I was walking along, and no one was out. The night was a wash and I decided to leave so I opened my wings slightly. Before I could get ready for takeoff, I was grabbed from behind and shoved against the wall. I started to struggle and then someone whispered in my ear that if I didn’t stop, there’d be hell to pay and…to just go with it. I knew it was that guy I had met earlier who was holding me. Before I could figure out what he meant, he kissed me.”

Ivory gasps - a sound that rarely comes out of her mouth. She says it’s too feminine. Most of the time, I agree with her. But it seems appropriate now.

“What did you do?!”

“I was shocked, I’m embarrassed to say didn’t do anything – all the training in my self defensive classes and all I could do was stand there. Then I hear this guy called Hazel saying that Mocha – that’s the guy who had me pinned - needs to get his pleasure where he can find it.”

Even now, the lewdness in the man’s voice makes me want to throw up.

“After that the man walked away and Mocha stopped kissing me. He started asking me all these questions about why was down there. I didn’t answer him because I had questions of my own.”

I hesitate, not sure if I should be telling Ivory this story after all. I remember what Mocha said but then if I can’t trust my best friend, who can I trust?

“I asked him why he had wings.”

“What?!”

“He didn’t answer me but threatened to hurt me if I told

anyone. He didn’t stop there though. He had one more

surprise for me. He told me I was wasting my time flying down for answers. He said if I wanted answers, I should ask my mother. Then he left and dropped another feather on his way.”

I open my palm and show it to her. I don’t think she

really believed me because my story sounded so wild and

crazy. But that feather hadn’t come from around here. No one around here has that particular coffee-butterscotch-peanut-butter-caramel color wings.

“How can he have wings and be LandBound? That doesn’t make any sense, Ash.”

“I know but nothing seems to make sense. I went down

looking for him. Why’s he so easy to find? I don’t get how or why he would mention my mom. If he knows my mom, then he must know who I am, so why did he pretend not to know me? I don’t know maybe, he’s got me mistaken for someone else.”

“What are you going to do Ash? Are you going to go ask your mom what he’s talking about? I thought your mom did some kind of record-keeping. Why would she be able to answer your questions? I don’t even see how you could ask her anyway, you would have to tell her you flew LandBound and you would be in trouble with her and Sky Patrol.”

“I know. I don’t know what to do. I don’t understand what’s

going on, Ivory. I’ve got this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don’t know why any of this matters but I feel like it does. I’m in the middle of something and I don’t know what it is. I don’t even know why I just had to go LandBound. If I had just listened to you guys, I wouldn’t… Ive, I’m scared.”

Ivory looks worried and she’s probably right to be worried. This is serious. No one, no one was supposed to, no one was allowed to have wings down there. It’s forbidden. If you have wings, you live in the sky. If you don’t, you live on the ground. That’s it, no exceptions. So what is a SkyBound doing living down there?

I had to go home and as expected, my mom asked me where I had been. The conversation didn’t go well and when I say asked, I really mean yelled. I had stayed on the bench and hadn’t gone home – I knew it was a mistake, but I couldn’t go home and face her.

“Where were you, Ash?!?! You know that you aren’t supposed to leave the house before I wake up! How did you disable the alarm! What were you thinking!?”

“Mother. I’m seventeen and I have my solo license, which means I can leave whenever I want, which means I don’t have to wait for you to wake up anymore. And I’m not going to. You sleep for too long and you might want to talk to dad about the alarm.”

She was shocked. But it was weird, underneath the shock was calm, cold, hard anger. For a second, I wondered if I had gone too far.

“You… can….leave…. whenever… you …want?! Are you

crazy? Who pays for your meals, a place to stay, to groom for hours in the morning? I do. You don’t know how to earn your keep and until you can support yourself, in your own place, you will leave when I allow you to leave. While you are in this house, you will watch your tone, speak to me with respect and follow my rules. Is that clear? ”

I could feel the rage building up - it almost blinded me.

“No, it’s not clear. What are you going to do if I don’t fall into line – follow your rules? Are you going to pull my feathers out? Are you going to pull my wings back? I’m not a little kid anymore -you’ve run out of punishments mother.”

She pulls back in shock.

“You like to pretend it was discipline but you and I both know it was abuse. How could you think hurting a little kid like that was right? You would always say you were doing it for me, but that’s not really true, is it? You really did it for yourself. What did you get out of it – torturing me like that? Do I have it wrong mother? Do I? Wasn’t it your face I was looking up at while you strapped me to a chair and methodically pulled the feathers out of my most sensitive spots. You probably figured I would forget – I was too smart for you even then, I heard you tell the people in the white coats that the memory pills would make me forget – you remember don’t you? The ones you would tell me were vitamins. Well, I didn’t take them because I didn’t want to forget. As I got older and realized what you had done to me, I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want the pity of other people when they found out how abusive you were. I didn’t want them to take me away from my home, put me in a temporary home and put you in jail. So I didn’t say anything. But I’m not afraid of that anymore so I’ll tell you what - I will go where I want, when I want – if you’d like, feel free to call Sky Patrol, I’d be glad to talk to them about why I’m so disrespectful.”

With that, I walk out the door, snap my wings open and fly, leaving her staring out at me, coffee spilling on the floor, brown blood against white tile.

Later, at school, the shock of what I’d said hit me. I didn’t feel bad, more amazed and surprised that I’d had the courage to say it. It had taken me fourteen years. My mother is evil, there was no doubt about that. She had tried to feed me memory pills after each torture, but I never swallowed them. They are usually used to help people recover from traumatic events, making what happened less real and more dreamlike in your memory. They had tried to give me them after the updraft incident too, but I didn’t take them then either. It never occurred to me to tell on my mother. I realize that I never asked my mother about what Mocha said. I don’t know why I couldn’t bring myself to ask my mother – probably because I was so upset, I completely forgot about asking her. I’m going back down again. I know it’s dangerous and illegal, but I can’t resist. I can hear the call, taunting and tantalizing, urging me to fly below. There’s something there I need to figure out. I feel like I might be able to help - maybe do something important.