Landed Wings

chapter 37: FREEDOM

MOCHA

After Ash got behind the curtain, I turn around to find the

exit. I don’t hesitate. I don’t look back. She’s on her own now – I’ve done my job. Ginger can take it from here. I feel regret, and maybe something more for the hurt I will cause her. I was seriously considering not going through but the thought leaves almost as quickly as it came. Any regret I might have felt is gone, leaving only a strange coldness. It makes me pause for a second, but then that is gone too. I feel better than I have in a long time, and no matter how much I think about leaving Ash, the most I can feel is a benign apathy. Maybe I’m not capable of feeling the way other people feel. Or maybe it is just that I won’t let myself. I had to break my mind from hers, and like I suspected the feelings are gone. It’s like they were never even real in the first place. It isn’t as easy as I had told Ginger but it isn’t as hard as I had thought it would be. I’ve surprised myself. I knew that I could be cold, calculating, but not to this degree. Cocoa would be happy if she knew the effect her actions have had on me. I can’t feel Ash anymore. And I’m fine with it. Mostly fine. I’d gotten used to Ash. Now she is just a mental habit I have to break. I open the door to heavy rain greeting me. I open my wings and fly off. To where, I don’t know, but I’m not coming back. Finally, I’m free.