Infinity Chronicles of Nick

chapter 12

a.

Hello? Mr. Human Boy Person? Can you hear the Simi? Or are you dead? Hello?"

Nick came awake to someone poking a hole in his upper arm with her fingertip. "Ow!

Would you stop poking on me?" He opened his eyes to find one of the prettiest girls he'd ever seen leaning over him.

Dang...

Teach me to be rude before I find out wio's assaulting me. Cause this girl was f-i-n-e and he was more than willing to be her victim anytime she wanted to invade his personal space, even if it was with nothing more than her fingertip.

Her long black hair hung in pigtails and was streaked with bloodred. She had on a studded leather choker that matched the black leather corset she wore. Probably around the age of seventeen or eighteen, she had a pair of red eyes (must be some of those weird contacts) that were ringed with black eyeliner. Her lips were also bright red, like her fingernails. And her features were absolutely perfect. Dressed in a really short black and red skirt, she had purple leggings and a pair of bright red Doc Martens that were accented with a skull-and-rose motif.

She cocked her head in a gesture that reminded him of a bird as she eyed him with con-sternation. "Why you sleeping on the ground out here, Mr. Boy Human? The Simi don't think this is a safe thing to do. Comfortable either. Someone might think you dead and steal something or they could kill you.

Maybe not if they think you dead already, but then again, people do weird things all the time—like killing dead people even though they're dead. Is that overkill or is that just dumb?

Never mind. So you should probably get up soon and not sleep here. Did you lose your bed?

Or are you one of them special people who don't have a bed but sleep outside instead? Some of them can be real nice. Some even offer the Simi drinks, but akri says I can't have any

'cause it'll give me indigestion. Not like rubber does, but worse. So says akri." She had a strange singsongy voice that was endearing and adorable.

But it made understanding her a little difficult, especially with the headache he had.

"What?" Nick asked.

She let out a long-suffering sigh. "You one of them humans can't follow Simi speak. That's okay. This why the Simi don't bother talking to most humans 'cause, no offense, you all weird.

Some of you even stupid. Real stupid. Like stump stupid. It's the lack of hornays, I say. See, only really smart creatures have hornays ... except for them moo moo cows —they not bright.

But akri says there's always an exception to every rule. So they would be the exception to the hornayone. But they taste really good so the Simi will forgive them for bringing down her bell curve of superior intellect over all the other nonhorned subspecies."

She narrowed her eyes on his head. "Hmmm, I bet you'd be really cute with hornays. Not that you're not cute right now, but you're a bit young. You're only what? Four in human years?

Oh wait, that's wrong, isn't it? You ninety?"

Was she serious? "Fourteen."

"Oh." She put the tip of her finger to her lips as she considered something. "I wouldn't have guessed that. Still, you're young. So can the Simi help you find a place to sleep that's not dangerous? My akri can help if we need him to. He always does."

Nick shook his head. "Who are you?" What planet are you from? Obviously Planet Insanity was missing a local, long-term resident.

She held her lace-covered hand out to him. "I am the Simi, and who are you, Mr. Boy Human?"

He shook her hand carefully in case her lunacy was catching. "Nick."

Letting go of him, she picked at the edge of his sling. "You gots a wound, don't you? Did you have that before you went to sleep on the street?"

"Uh, yeah." Nick pushed himself up and Simi sprang to her feet beside him.

Dang, she was tall. At least six feet. Of course some of that was augmented by the platform boots.

Frowning, she leaned forward and touched his neck. "You bleeding, Mr. Nick. Are you supposed to do that?"

Nick brushed her hand away so that he could feel a cut there. He tried to remember what'd happened, but for his life he had no memory of it. The last thing he remembered was leaving Caleb and heading toward Bourbon. "Is it bad?"

"The Simi wouldn't suggest being around no Daimon with that 'cause they might be hungry and it look mighty tempting to drain your blood out and feast on your soul, but it not gushing or anything. I think you'll live." She paused again as if thinking about it. "Yeah, that's right.

People only die when it gushes and don't stop. If you don't live though and drop dead from it, can the Simi eat you? Akri says the Simi can't eat no living people, but he never said no about them newly dead people. Maybe that's why he don't let me near them fresh dead. But—"

"What are you talking about?" Nick interrupted her. "Are you for real?"

She blinked innocently. "What you mean?" Biting her lip, she looked at her hand. "The Simi's not turning invisible again, is she? Ooo, that would be bad. I promised akri I wouldn't do that no more in public places. But sometimes the Simi can't help it. Kind of like putting barbecue sauce on salads. It's just mandatory and reflexive 'cause you gots to kill the taste of the ick rabbit food."

Nick stepped away from her. She was nuts with a capital N. Was there any female left in New Orleans under the age of twenty who hadn't lost her mind?

Kody...

Yeah, he definitely needed a Kody shot rightabout now.

He cleared his throat as he looked at Simi. "No, you're not turning invisible and I'm sure I'm late so I better get going...."

She stepped in front of him to stop his leaving. "Did you hear that sound?"

"What sound?"

"Zombies! They're coming for us. Wheee! Yum!"

Ian St. James was alone in his big brother Madaug's room. He wasn't supposed to be in here. Ever. Under penalty of severe mutilation and much shouting by their parents. But Madaug always had the coolest games, which he refused to share with his little brother. The big poop head.

What he doesnt knowwont get my arm frogged. ... Yeah, Madaug had run out the door hours ago and he didn't seem to be coming back anytime soon. Which gave Ian plenty of time to sneak on Madaug's computer and play his brother's latest creation: Pokemon Death Trap Fever. His brother had taken all the characters from Pokemon and merged them with the ones from Mortal Kombat. Like Charizard now had acid spit and could rip the spine out of other characters while laughing at them. It was a bloodbath death match that would leave their mother fainting if she ever knew.

But what she didn't know wouldn't get Ian grounded.

Grinning, he booted up, then cringed at Madaug's stinky manga wallpaper that bordered on hentai ... another thing their mother would die over. The cartoon girl had so little clothing on she might as well be naked. And the way she had her leg lifted up, kicking ... he gagged.

Ew!

"I just don't get it." Ian put his hand up to block the view of the girl as he went into the menu to find the games. His brother kept telling him that he'd get it in a few years, along with hair in weird places and body odor. Honestly, Ian liked being ten and had no desire to grow up and smell, especially if it meant smelling like Madaug.

He shivered at the thought as he read through the games. He paused as one in particular caught his eye.

"Zombie Hunter?"

Madaug hadn't told him about this one. Oooo, it sounded good. Double clicking on it, he waited for it to load. Rubbing his hands together, he giggled, knowing he was getting away with something that would really anger his brother if Madaug ever found out about it.

And Ian loved getting away with things he wasn't supposed to be in.

Suddenly, he heard a sound outside the door.

Ian jumped, terrified it was Madaug coming in to discover him in his room on his computer.

I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. His brother would beat him until he screamed like a girl.

Killing the power to the computer, he shot from the desk. His heart hammering, he went to the door and opened it.

It wasn't Madaug.

It was some tall and scary guy he'd never seen before. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen as he glared down at Ian. "Brains," he growled.

Ian rolled his eyes. Puh-lease. What was it with teenagers that they thought something that stupid would intimidate the big kids? "I'm not a baby. You can't scare me with that stuff."

He lifted his chin defiantly.

Until the guy grabbed him and bit him in the shoulder.

Screaming out, Ian did what his mom had always told him to do whenever a guy, not one of his brothers, grabbed him. He hit him in the nuts as hard as he could.

The zombie staggered back, but he was still in the doorway, blocking him from leaving.

Panic swelled as lan's lips trembled. I'm so sorry I'm in your room, Madaug. Ill never come into it again unless you tell me to. I swear....

That was, as long as the zombie didn't eat his brains.

Ian ran to Madaug's desk, looking for a weapon. Dang it, his geekified brother didn't even have a trophy to bash the zombie in the head with. All he had was a half-eaten ham sandwich, a Yoda bobblehead, an empty can of Dr Pepper, potato chip crumbs, a greasy two-day-old pizza box, a bunch of CDs, and a glasses case. All of that was worthless.

Think, Ian, think....

The zombie grabbed him again.

Ian picked up the only thing he could reach.

A pencil.

Not just for doing homework.... They were good for all kinds of things. Resetting his Nintendo, undoing knots in his shoes, getting stuff out from under his fingernails, drawing on the wall....

And stabbing zombies.

"liiiyaaa!" he shouted as he stabbed it into the zombie's arm as hard as he could. The zombie screamed.

Like a frightened jackrabbit, Ian squatted between his legs and ran for the stairs. "Mom!"

he called as he scrambled for safety. Luckily, he was used to running for his life from his two older brothers whose tempers and kill-the-little-brother mindsets made the zombie look like a girl.

"Mom!" he yelled again as he entered the kitchen and rounded the island where she stood, making dinner. "Help! A zombie's after me!"

She let out a frustrated breath as he grabbed her about the waist. "What in the world is wrong with you, Boo?"

Ian tried to explain but before he could get more than a handful of words out, the zombie was in the kitchen, glaring at him.

The pencil was still protruding from his forearm as he growled. lan's mom scowled at the teenager. "Danny? What are you doing here? How did you get into the house? I didn't hear the door."

"He's trying to eat our brains, Mom."

She tsked down at him. "Ian, don't be ridiculous. Danny goes to church with us. Don't you know him?"

"No." He would remember if he'd ever seen a zombie at church. The limping and groaning tended to stand out.

His mom turned back to Danny. "Are you here for a donation? I heard your youth group was—" Danny grabbed lan's mom and bit heron the head. She screamed.

"Don't you hurt my mama!" Ian ran at him with the whole of his weight, driving him back a few steps and causing him to let go of his mom. Ian clamped down on Danny's leg and bit him until he tasted blood.

No one attacks my mama!

Danny cried like a baby while lan's mom picked up the pan where she'd been making biscuits.

She bashed Danny's head repeatedly with the pan, forcing him away from them. "Get behind me, Ian."

For once, Ian did as she told him.

She backed away from Danny, toward the front door.

Ian was feeling pretty good about their escape until he turned around.

There were more zombies on the front porch and they all looked hungry....

Caleb's heart skipped a beat as he flew in as a raven and saw Nick and some unknown female completely surrounded by zombies while trying to fight them off. Malachai's going to kill me____

Because from his vantage point, it looked like the zombies were getting the better of them.

Nick was covered in blood from various bite wounds while the female seemed to be doing a better job at keeping them off her.

Summoning his powers, Caleb sent a mental wave to the zombies to disperse them.

They didn't listen. If anything, it made them even more aggressive against Nick.

"What the crap?"

As a demon, one of their first learned powers was to be able to control the dead. It was the lesson Nick was supposed to be learning right now.

But Caleb's powers were useless against the zombies.

How could this be? It didn't make sense. Not that it had to make sense to thoroughly tick him off.

And then he realized why he couldn't control them.

They weren't dead. These zombies had been made from the living. The living he could possess or influence, but he couldn't control them without their cooperation.

Growling in frustration, Caleb flew toward the street, into the shadows, where he took human form. The demon in him wanted to blast the zombies into oblivion. But that would blow his cover and he'd already learned the hard way three years ago that his powers didn't work on Nick.

If he exposed his powers and Nick saw them, there was no way to undo it. He'd be screwed and Nick would never trust him again. Of course, he could try the clumsy and inexact human method of memory loss by bashing Nick on the head.

It might work.

Or it might give him a concussion. Worse, it might kill him.

And since Caleb's survival hinged on his ... best not to chance it.

So instead, he rushed into the alley to help them, then drew up fast as he realized the girl with Nick wasn't a girl after all. She was a demon, too.

A Charonte demon, to be precise.

Oh Dusseldorf, this was getting complicated. He shielded his powers immediately. The problem with the Charonte, they were highly territorial and didn't tolerate other demons in their domain. Ever. To them, if you weren't Charonte, you were garbage, and all garbage should be eaten. Literally. Slowly and with relish—or, more often than not, with barbecue sauce.

Since the Charonte were one of the most powerful branches of demon, it served him best to stay off her radar.

And menu.

But why she was with Nick and not attacking him, he had no idea. Charonte didn't normally associate with anyone unless, as previously noted, they were on the menu.

"Nick!" Caleb shouted as one of the zombies went for Nick's neck. "Behind you!"

Nick turned around as he heard Caleb's shout to see Brett Guidry, one of his classmates, coming at his back. Grateful Caleb had returned, he indicated Brett with his chin. "We've got to get these guys to Bubba's. Anyone got a clue how to do it?"

Simi looked at him. "They gotta be breathing?"

"Yes," Nick and Caleb said in unison.

"Well, pooh." Simi poked her lips out. "That just takes all the fun out of it." She let out a dramatic sigh.

Nick was overwhelmed by the herculean task. How did three high school students get a dozen zombies to Bubba's store without getting eaten?

Why didn t / stay home ?

Look on the bright side....

Trouble was, he didn't see a bright side.

/ knewl should have taken up lumberjackery and not the one where you shoot snot out your nose or the other one he didnt want to think about while fighting. 'Cause face it, both of those would be worthless right about now. Rather lumberjackery where you break Army of Darkness with a chainsaw all over the Deadites and send them into oblivion.

Or at least send them out of his sight.

The zombies closed in. Nick braced himself for more hand-to-hand (literally, in his case) fighting.

Suddenly, Simi grabbed him and Caleb by their hands and ran with them to the corner.

She hesitated under the street sign. "Where's Bubba's?"

Nick pointed down the street toward the store.

"Okay." Simi released their hands. "You boys run on and I'll get them there right behind you."

Nick shook his head as all the lessons his mom had taught him roared to the forefront.

"That's not right. I'm not about to leave a girl to be eaten by crazies."

Caleb looked over his shoulder to where the zombies were closing in fast. "Folks, we stand here arguing and we're going to die." He grabbed Nick and pulled him forward. "Let her be the bait. We need to get the doors open."

Nick would have fought him too, but Caleb's grip was too fierce, leaving him no choice except to follow or lose his other arm.

They only got half a block before two more zombies stepped out of the darkness to attack them.

Nick cursed as he pulled up short and kicked the first one back into the alley. "How many of these are there?"

Caleb shook his head. "I'm beginning to wonder if Madaug didn't license the game to Sony or something. Where are all of them coming from? Raccoon City Cloning Farm? What is going on here?"

Nick stepped back to avoid being bitten. "We're about to get our butts kicked. That's what's going on." He scissor-kicked the zombie closest to him. Then he looked to see Simi leading the others closer. "I'm beginning to feel like Jim Bowie at the Alamo."

Caleb knocked the zombie in front of him back. "Yeah, but we're not going to die."

/ w'sh I could be so sure of that. 'Cause right now, things were not looking good for him and if he was a betting man, he'd be betting on the zombies.

Even so, Nick pushed his fear and panic down and kept moving toward the store, drawing the zombies along behind him while he continued to beat them off. Gah, if one more of them touched his wounded shoulder, he was going to forget the ban on killing them and go hog wild—chainsawor not. "I really don't like being the dangling carrot."

"Better than being the dead duck." Caleb smacked the zombie closest to him.

He had a good point with that.

Nick was the first one to reach the store. He opened the door and called for Bubba, Madaug, and Mark. "We got a group coming in. You might want to widen that room and be ready to lock it tight."

But getting them into the store was hard enough. Into the room...

Where were the X-Men when you really needed them?

Nick grabbed the cattle prod that Bubba kept hanging on the wall behind the counter...

again for those "just in case" moments. He was beginning to not only understand Bubba's paranoia, but be grateful for it.

Bubba was right. You never knew when these things could come in handy. It did pay to keep a cattle prod and axon hand. The necessity of the rocket launcher and blasting caps remained to be seen.

At least the cattle prod would make it easier to corral them. But the moment Nick touched the prod to the zombie closest to him, Brett, he realized Mark and Bubba had made some serious modifications to the voltage. This wasn't a typical cattle prod to move people along. This one was meant to stun and stun hard. The jolt was so severe, it drove the zombie to the floor like a million-volt stun gun.

"What the ... ?" Nick gaped at Bubba, who grinned in all his unabashed glory.

"Neighbors don't complain when I shock people, only when I shoot them."

Mark agreed. "But the downside is it's a pain to drag them out of the store, and if you leave them in here, when they can move again, they're usually pretty pissed and looking for blood."

Madaug, Caleb, and Simi continued to try and beat the zombies into the holding cell.

Nick zapped another zombie that was going for Simi. It was actually kind of fun. He'd touch them with the prod. They'd scream and then flop to the ground like dying fish. Made him wonder what would happen if they were wet, but he wasn't sadistic enough to test that curiosity. Lucky for them.

He shocked another one who went for his head and sent the zombie flailing. A guy could get used to this, especially if he didn't go to jail for it.

By the time Nick had stunned the last one and Bubba and Mark were dragging the first one into the room, they made a "shocking" discovery.

As the voltage wore off, the zombies returned to normal.

"Get your hands off me!" Brett snarled as he shoved Bubba back. "My dad's a lawyer and I'm going to sue you for offensive touching."

Bubba arched a brow. "You might wanna rethink that, boy. 'Cause if I'm going to get sued for offensively touching you, I'm going to make it worth my while. Think about it."

Brett's face paled. He looked around the store as if he was waking up from a nightmare.

"How did I get here?"

Nick angled the cattle prod at him, still not trusting that he was completely normal. He'd seen that movie too many times where the idiots think the monster's gotten over whatever had it possessed, only to turn back into the monster and kill them the instant they let down their guard. No way. He wasn't about to become intelligent-zombie kibble. "You were trying to eat my brains, you psycho."

Brett gaped at him. "What?"

Caleb nodded. "It's true, dude. You went for Gautier's throat, and mine too."

Madaug took the prod from Nick so that he could examine the prongs on the end of it.

"Wow, Nick. You found the cure. That's how we fix it."

"Electrocution?" Nick tried not to smile as he thought about seriously zapping Stone.

Madaug nodded. "The voltage works on the central nervous system.... I'm thinking it works like a power surge that causes the programming to dump and essentially reboot to the original that existed before they played my game. It reverses everything. Nick! You're a friggin' genius."

Nick rested the cattle prod up on his good shoulder. "Well, someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie."

Simi stepped forward and slapped him on the right cheek.

"Hey!" Nick snapped, rubbing his offended buttocks.

She blinked innocently. "You told me to. Or would you rather have had one of them men slap your butt instead?"

Nick was horrified by the mere suggestion. "If someone is touching that part of me, I'd much rather it be you than one of them." Or better yet, Kody.

"Us too," the guys said quickly.

As they stood there, one by one the zombies came out of it. All of them were disoriented and baffled by what had happened to them.

And none of the twelve guys on the floor remembered having played Madaug's game.

None of them.

Nick scowled at Madaug. "You think when I shocked them that it caused some kind of memory loss?" Which really worried him since he had a memory lapse himself about how he'd gotten in that courtyard at the Lalauree mansion. Had he been a zombie and not known it?

Please dont let me have eaten any brains.

That was the only thing he knew that could make his mom's powdered eggs taste good.

Madaug scratched his chin as he thought about it. "I don't know. We need a case study."

Bubba paused and turned toward him. "Case study how?"

"We have to get to Brian, shock him, and see," Madaug said. "It's the only way to know for sure since he's the only one I know for a fact was turned into a zombie after playing my game."

Not to be one to ever interject logic into anything, Nick laughed nervously. "You do know he's in jail, right? And that the police tend to get a little perturbed at people who show up there with cattle prods and stun guns. I'm just saying."

Simi jumped up and down. "We could get the police to shoot him for us!"

Mark scoffed. "Our luck, they'd shoot him with a real gun and kill him. Then we'd learn nothing."

Like that was the worst fear they had at the moment....

Yeah.

Madaug didn't relent. "We've got to either get him out or we get in to see him and stun him. Otherwise we don't really know if this is going to work. It could be temporary and they could turn right back into zombies. Think about it."

Nick was thinking about it. He was thinking of spending the rest of his life in jail, provided his mother didn't kill him first. "I don't guess any of you former zombies would like to go into the holding cell until we sort this out?"

Brett seized him by the shirt. "I don't know what game you and geek boy are playing, Gautier. But you getin mywayas I leave and I'll wipe my boots on your balls."

Nick cringed involuntarily at a threat that went down his spine like a shredder.

Before he realized what was happening, Simi had taken Brett's hand and squeezed it so hard Nick heard the bones break.

Brett cried out.

Simi held his hand in hers without letting up. "Nick is a friend of the Simi's. You threaten him and you make the Simi really unhappy and want to eat your head. Trust me, not something you want me to think about. Now go away mean person or the Simi will tell akri she don't know what happened to you and your masticated form. Not that I like to lie, but there are deceptions to every rule. And you're about to become one." She shoved him back toward the room. "Now get in there and be quiet."

By their faces, it was obvious none of them wanted to obey. But none of them had the backbone to stand up to Simi.

Bubba grinned. "I like your friend, Nick. She doesn't mince words, does she?"

"Not really." But then some of the words she didn't mince really didn't make sense, and who the heck was this akri she kept mentioning? He must be some serious badass to corral her.

Mark locked the hidden door and shut the wall so that no one entering the store could see their new prisoners.

Caleb frowned. "What if they start calling for help?"

"Won't do them any good," Bubba said. "It's soundproof and made with enough metal that no cell phones will go through neither. They're there until we let them out."

Mark let out a nervous laugh. "Then let's not get killed and starve them to death."

Nick stared at him. "Mark, there are many, many reasons I don't want to get killed doing this other than just starving the ex-zombie hostages." He looked over to Madaug. "Or go to jail. I cannot stress enough how badly I do not want to go to jail and how badly I do not want to die."

But he had a bad feeling that they were all about to head to one of those places or the other.