“I gave a copy to Brian ’cause he was always messing with me. I wanted to see if I could reprogram him to stress out whenever he felt the urge to come at me. Instead of getting pleasure, bul ying would increase his fear, and make him pul back. That was the plan.”
Bubba took another drink. “He was Madaug’s guinea pig.” Madaug looked sick over that comment. “Yeah, and now I can’t find the game. I don’t know who has it, but apparently other people have been playing it which is why we have zombies cropping up al over the place.” Bubba snorted. “Yeah, two and three at a time, ’cause God forbid kids should do what we did back in the old days and play in a room by ourselves. What kind of geeks are they raising nowadays? Geeks with friends who play video games together. Whoever heard of such? It’s the end of days, I’m tel ing you al .”
Nick was confused by his outburst. “But, Bubba? Aren’t you and Mark friends?”
“Ah, hel no. Mark’s not my friend, he’s my minion.” Mark stiffened. “I prefer sidekick. I tried once for the title of Padawan, but Bubba wigged out saying that mentors are always kil ed off in books and movies and he’d be damned if he was going to die once he taught me everything I needed to know about kil ing zombies.”
“Then why let you be his sidekick? Isn’t that the same thing?
” Nick asked.
Mark laughed. “Uh, no. In the movies, the sidekicks are the ones who die.”
Nick wasn’t about to touch that screwed-up logic.
Bubba ignored him as he continued speaking. “And because Madaug had it programmed to repel Brian from him, we think the programming is backwards and it’s making them seek him out instead. So we need to rework the code to switch them back to normal.”
That sounded good, but Nick only had one problem with this theory. “So why are they coming after me?” Bubba and Madaug gaped at him. “What?”
“Two of them, a few hours ago, tracked me down at work,” Nick explained. “They almost had me too.” Bubba shook his head in denial. “That’s not possible. The programming only works around Madaug and his DNA.” Nick held up his good arm to show them the bandage where he’d been bitten. Again. “Possible or not, they tried to turn me into a Nick McNugget.”
Bubba grabbed his arm, pul ed the bandage back, and studied his two wounds. “Wel , isn’t that interesting.” Nick was aghast at his nonchalance. It might have been funny had it been happening to Stone and not him. But right now, he didn’t exactly have a sense of humor about being a zombie chew toy. “I ain’t your science experiment, Bubba. I don’t want to be interesting and I definitely don’t want to be a nubby treat for the zombies.”
Bubba looked at Madaug. “Why would they try to eat Nick?” Madaug shrugged. “I don’t know why they’re trying to eat anyone. Period. The program was to calm them down and make them passive. Not aggressive.”
“Epic fail, dude,” Nick said.
Madaug looked back at his code before he responded to Nick’s outburst. “From what I’ve observed today, when the programming kicks in they attack whoever they’re around. But I haven’t seen them tracking anyone except me and I stil haven’t figured out why they’re stalking me and not quivering in fear.”
Caleb crossed his arms over his chest. “You turned them into zombies, Madaug. They’re after your brains.” Nick laughed. “I’d say it’s because they’re al mindless jocks, but that might offend you.”
“Yeah, and then I’d have to break your other arm.” Bubba set his drink down. “Don’t make me have to separate the two of you. I’m out of patience with kids today.” He indicated the smashed cabinets from earlier. “I stil wanna know who to sue to get my store fixed.”
“I’m a turnip.” Nick pointed to Madaug. “Sue the rich kid who started it.”
Before Madaug could defend himself, there was a sharp thud against the door, fol owed by the sounds of someone moaning while trying to get in.
Mark leaned his head against the wal as if he were in agony. “Please let that be Tabitha playing a prank.” Bubba hefted his ax from its peg on the wal . “Guard the geek,” he said to Mark. “I’m going to check it out.” Mark moaned even louder. “Please don’t let it be another cop. I’m outta bail money.” He looked at Nick. “Wait a minute.
… I could sel you on eBay and make a kil ing.” Nick pointed to his busted arm. “Not in my current condition.
You’d have to sel Caleb or Madaug. I’m sure there’s someone wil ing to buy two perfectly good white boys.” He leaned forward to look past Mark, who had thankful y bathed the scent of duck urine off him, to see who was at the door.
With the ax cocked on his shoulder, Bubba unlocked it and a group of Goths spil ed into the store. They were so excited that they were talking over each other to the point Nick couldn’t understand any of them.
The last one in let loose a whistle so piercing, it echoed. As she turned toward him, Nick recognized Tabitha decked out in pants so tight he was sure they were il egal in some states.
Probably this one.
She looked up at Bubba. “We need supplies, B. Lots and lots of supplies.”