Infinite (Incarnate)

“Are the newsouls okay?” The question was out before I realized.

 

Whit and Stef both looked up at me, as though they’d forgotten I was here. Sam sat near them, but not with; he just stared at his hands, miserable.

 

“The newsouls don’t have the fever,” Whit said after a hesitation. “They’ll be fine. They’re hard to hurt, like you.”

 

He was wrong. All I did anymore was hurt.

 

Whit handed out bowls of soup. I took mine without comment, eating while I listened to Stef and Whit speculate about what kind of fever the others might have. And I watched Sam, hunched over his bowl and seeming deep in thought. When he contributed to the conversation, he seemed only half there.

 

Five minutes before Sarit usually called, I ducked outside and hid behind an evergreen tree. Through the sharp-smelling needles, I could see the tent and the light creeping around the edges of it, but I had a little privacy.

 

Snow drifted between the trees, making me shiver, but I didn’t want to talk inside the tent. If I did, the others would be awkward and I’d just . . . I’d fall apart.

 

Her call came ten minutes late.

 

“Sarit.” I sounded maybe a little too relieved. “I was worried you wouldn’t be able to call. We’re at the edge of the signal now. Tomorrow I won’t be able to get you.”

 

“Ana.” Her voice was oddly low, sober. “Ana, what is everyone doing right now?”

 

“I—” I glanced through the veil of pine needles, but the tent flap was closed. I couldn’t see anything. “Talking, I guess. I’m outside. They’re inside. What’s wrong?”

 

Her voice caught, as though she was trying not to cry. “Okay, I need you to go in there. I need you to talk to them for a minute.”

 

“What’s going on?” My chest constricted with worry. But I stood, shivering in the snowfall and clenching my mittened hand around my SED.

 

“Please. So I can tell you all at once.”

 

“Okay.” My dread for her news outweighed my dread of going into the tent again. Even so, the way Stef and Whit looked at me as I entered—and the way Sam didn’t look at me—stung so much I wanted to turn and run back out. I closed the flap behind me and knelt. Cris shifted nearer to me. “Sarit needs to tell everyone something.”

 

They looked at me now. Even Sam.

 

I balanced my SED on my knee and tapped the speaker function so they could all hear the way her breath caught and trembled. She was crying. “All right, Sarit.” My voice was deeper now, too, filled with foreboding. “Go ahead.”

 

“It’s Armande,” she said. “Deborl caught him after one of the earthquakes today. Armande is dead.”

 

 

 

 

 

16

 

 

TOWER

 

 

THERE WASN’T MUCH to say after that. Stef and Whit asked a few questions, which Sarit answered as best she could. Sam just buried his face in his hands, motionless during the entire conversation.

 

I wanted to hold him, but when I touched his shoulder, he slumped as though the weight of my hand was too much.

 

“He’s not coming back,” Sam said. “He’s gone forever.”

 

He was right. For Armande, it no longer mattered whether we stopped Janan. Either way, Armande was a darksoul now.

 

“We learned what Deborl is having people build, though.” Grief choked Sarit’s voice. “It’s a cage. An enormous cage, big enough to fit a baby troll inside.”

 

“That’s it?” Stef shook her head. “There were more parts than just a floor, ceiling, and bars. That can’t be all he’s building.”

 

“More importantly,” Whit said, “what is he building it for?”

 

“I don’t know.” Sarit sounded young and alone and frightened. Armande had been like a father to all of us. He was Sam’s father in this life.

 

When Stef and Whit were finished talking, Sarit said good-bye to them, and I sneaked outside once more with my SED. I didn’t make it back to the tree, though. Just stopped halfway there, unable to control the tears coursing down my cheeks.

 

Armande was gone. I’d never again see him, hug him. He’d never again open his pastry stall in the market field and feed me muffin after muffin, as though terrified I wouldn’t eat enough without his constant vigilance.

 

“What are you going to do?” My voice shook with grief and winter.

 

“I don’t know.” Our connection crackled, reminding me of the distance between us, reminding me we wouldn’t be able to talk after tonight. “I don’t know. A few people have tried standing up to Deborl, but most of them get put in prison. Maybe I can get them out. Or maybe . . . I don’t know. I’ll keep hiding. Keep up with what they’re building. Maybe I can figure out what the rest of the parts are for. I just have no clue.”

 

Everything in me ached for her. She was alone, hiding in Heart without anyone to console her or help her through this grief. “Just be safe,” I whispered. “Do whatever it takes to be safe.”

 

“I wish I were with you.” Her voice trembled. “I wish I’d gone with you.”

 

“Me too.”

 

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