Incarnate

I startled, almost dropping my flashlight. Wool slipped on metal, but I scooped the tube against my chest and pinned it there.

 

“You seem uncomfortable.” His expression was impossible to read in the dark. Only starlight and the eerie temple glow brightened the city. The moon hadn’t risen yet; some nights its light reflected off the walls, giving Heart numinous radiance. But not tonight. It was just dark. “Ana?”

 

I shifted toward him and started walking again, quickening my pace. “I’m fine.” Really, I just wanted to get inside.

 

He kept up easily. “I hesitate to call you a liar, but I can tell when you’re not being honest. Did something happen?”

 

“Last night.” I kept my voice low, smothered it with my scarf. “When I was coming back to your house, I heard someone following me. There were footsteps. They vanished when I turned around.”

 

He didn’t ask me if I was sure like I thought he would, just put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a gentle squeeze. “I have something for you at home.”

 

Inside the dim parlor, Sam motioned for me to sit, and headed to one of the bookcases. Old hinges squeaked as he opened a box.

 

He crouched in front of me and laid a small, sheathed blade on my knees.

 

I tried to draw away, but it was already touching me. “What is this?” Carefully, I nudged it toward him, off my knees, and into his waiting hands.

 

“A knife.” He slipped off the leather covering to reveal a tiny blade, as thin and long as my index finger. “You need to promise me something.”

 

I didn’t take my eyes off the steel. “I don’t want that.”

 

“Please, Ana. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think it was necessary. I believe someone followed you last night. If their motives were benign, why didn’t they announce themselves?”

 

“You think someone might try to hurt me.”

 

Something flashed in his eyes, but I was too slow to fully see it. I had a hard time looking away from the knife. It was such a little thing, much too tiny for his grip. Perhaps if I thought of it as an oversize needle, it wouldn’t seem so terrible.

 

“When you were born, the Council passed a law forbidding anyone to do you harm. Because you might die.”

 

Suddenly, I remembered the first meeting with the Council in the guard station, and Sam saying there was a law about my death. I shivered, trying not to wonder what other laws the Council had made about me.

 

“The rest of us, we’d come back, but there’s no way to tell about you. The Council wouldn’t allow anyone to steal your life.”

 

For a moment, I felt bad about the assumptions I’d made about the Councilors, but Sam pressed the knife handle against my palm and held it there until I relented. It fit my hand perfectly.

 

“Just because there’s a law doesn’t mean everyone’s going to obey. It’s unlikely that anything will ever happen, but there’s no harm in your carrying a knife, even if it simply makes you feel better when walking home.” He hazarded a smile. “I’ll never let you get hurt if I can help it, but you don’t want me following you around everywhere, do you?”

 

Maybe. Yes. “Absolutely not. The masquerade is coming up, and I don’t care if everyone else cheats. No one is supposed to know who you are, right? I won’t let you see what I’m wearing, and I don’t want to know how you’re dressing up.”

 

“I know. But you’ll be carrying that.” He nodded toward the knife still in my hand.

 

It wasn’t heavy. The rosewood handle was smooth but not slick, and smelled sweet, while the delicate blade had been recently cleaned. No doubt it was sharp, but I didn’t touch it to see. Other than prettiness and whether I could carry it, I had no idea what to look for in a weapon, but I imagined this was a good one. Sam didn’t keep things he didn’t feel were worthwhile.

 

“Do you promise to keep the knife with you?” He looked earnest, and I really didn’t want to rely on him.

 

Carrying a weapon seemed extreme when someone had only been following me, especially if there was a law protecting me. But, as he’d said, not everyone observed laws. I wouldn’t care about curfew if the punishment wasn’t Li or banishment. What was the punishment for trying to kill me?

 

Again, I thought of what Menehem had been working on before he’d left Heart.

 

I slipped the sheath over the blade and set the knife on a nearby table. “Only because you asked so nicely.”

 

“Excellent.” He smiled, but a shadow lingered behind his eyes. He wasn’t telling me something, but I hadn’t told him everything, either. Not about Li in the market.

 

I let it go; my heart couldn’t take any more today.

 

“How about some music before bed?” he asked.

 

“My fingers are all played out.”

 

“I was going to play for you. If you wanted, that is.” His smile was genuine when I nodded. “I thought about starting you on another instrument sometime. Is there anything that interests you?”

 

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