He seemed like the curious type, which fit with his being a scientist. There were entire diaries dedicated to the geothermal features around the caldera, especially the gases a few gave off. He questioned the Council’s decisions, Heart and its glowing temple, even the reasons for everyone’s existence when there were a dozen other dominant species in the world: dragons, centaurs, phoenixes, unicorns, and giants. Not to mention everyone’s nemesis, the sylph. He hated Meuric’s insistence that Janan was responsible for humanity’s existence even more than Deborl’s idea that we were here because we were superior to other creatures, and eventually we’d claim the rest of the world.
Both thoughts seemed foolish to me. I hadn’t settled on an opinion about Janan yet—he might be real, though I doubted he was benevolent—but I definitely didn’t agree with Deborl’s idea. As far as I knew, no one had ever tried claiming the rest of the world, and if that was his goal, he should have started before “eventually.” Besides, you couldn’t kill sylph.
By the time I finished reading Menehem’s latest diary, I got the feeling he wasn’t well liked in Heart. He was defensive and cynical, and often accused society of having become stagnant, complacent with the world as it was. I didn’t agree about the stagnant state—people were still coming up with lots of interesting things—but I appreciated that he didn’t accept simple answers to hard questions, and thought people should challenge themselves.
I’d always hated him because he’d abandoned me to Li, but getting to know him through his journals, there were some things to admire.
Before I ran out of time, I peeked at his professional journals. He’d been studying sylph before he disappeared, trying to use chemicals to influence or incapacitate them. There was no indication whether he’d succeeded, though.
If someone could control sylph . . .
I was staring at my hands, remembering Li’s sarcastic, “Safe journey,” before I’d left Purple Rose Cottage, when Sam appeared on the stairwell. “Time to go home.”
After switching off the console, I followed him down and tapped lamps dark. Whit and Orrin had already gone.
“Is everything okay?” Sam offered my coat.
I glanced at the desks where the archivists had been working, knowing who had those diaries and not telling me. Maybe Sam had the books. Maybe he didn’t. Regardless, I didn’t think he would do anything to hurt me.
“Last night, there were books all over your floor. What were they?”
Shadows darkened his expression. “I’m not sure this is a good time for this conversation.”
I snatched my coat, shoved my arms through the sleeves, and pulled up my hood. “Fine.” Wrapped up in my scarf, I heaved open the door and strode outside.
“Ana.” Sam stood near me, but not touching. Only templelight lit his face; I was still fumbling with my flashlight. “I was doing research on dragons.”
I spun, my light finally working, and almost blinded him with the white beam.
He blinked out of the way. “I wanted to see if I could learn anything.” His face shone pale in the glare of my flashlight. “It’s happened so many times, I keep thinking they’re coming after me, and it’s not just horrible luck. So yes, I had those books in my room. I also had books about sylph, because I was equally concerned about you. Two attacks in two days.”
My throat closed up, and I hugged him tight. “Oh, Sam.” I pressed my face into the soft wool of his coat, inhaling his warm scent. “I’m sorry. Don’t worry about me. If you want to research dragons, let me help.”
“I don’t want to burden you. Everyone has their own worries and fears they’re reborn with. Eventually— Eventually it sorts itself out, and we’re all right again.”
That sounded like what Sine had said. Maybe she hadn’t been so insensitive on purpose. It was just all she knew.
I reached up, touched Sam’s face. Stubble caught in the wool of my mittens. “Burden me.”
“You have more important things to worry about. The first progress report—”
“Next week. I know.” With a sigh, I peeled away from him and gave my flashlight a few more twists. Nice everyone was so eager for me to do well, but my biggest incentive was not being exiled from Range or, worse, dumped with Li. “It’s difficult to focus on my studies when my best friend is struggling just to get through the hour.”
He hesitated. “So I’m your best friend now?”
My cheeks heated, and I shrugged. “It was between you and Sarit, and you have the piano. She just has honey.”
Sam laughed, and his knuckles brushed the back of my mitten, as if he’d been about to take my hand, but changed his mind. “Even though I’m pretty sure you chose the piano, not me—”
I bumped my shoulder to his arm, making him laugh again. Now that I was getting used to the idea that he wasn’t laughing at me, I enjoyed the sound more and more.
We continued down South Avenue, but our easy silence thickened as I remembered the previous night’s events. The footsteps.
Cold air stirred around my hood, rustling my hair. I shivered with the temperature and memory, vainly peering at the houses we passed. How could I figure out who had followed me? My thoughts kept turning back to Li, her threats from the market day, and whether she might have learned how to control sylph.
Sam touched my arm.