If I Should Die

“What do you mean, she told you so?” Vincent asks.

 

“Geneviève came to me when we returned from New York,” Bran explains. “She said you had explained to her about how we flame-fingers work. And she asked if there was any way for me to disperse her spirit while she was dormant.”

 

“Why would she do that?” I ask.

 

“She told me that without her husband she didn’t want to exist. That all she desired was to go to whatever afterlife he has passed on to. She felt she had done enough in her time as a revenant.”

 

“But . . . ,” Charlotte begins.

 

“She was very determined to have her way,” Bran says. “I had not yet decided what to do, but now the decision seems to have been made for us. And I would advise that we let her go.”

 

Everyone is silent, processing Bran’s story.

 

“We still need to get her body back in order to burn it,” says Vincent finally. “That is, if this isn’t just a ruse and Violette actually brings the body with her. In any case, Kate will not be going.”

 

“What do you mean, not going?” I exclaim.

 

“I’m not saying that to protect you, Kate. I’m saying it to protect us. Violette’s goal has not changed. She wants to trap you in order to get the Champion’s power. As things stand now, she could defeat us even without that extra strength. Her men at least double our numbers. But for her, the desire for power trumps common sense. She wants you and will risk an on-the-spot, unorganized battle in order to get you. You can’t go.”

 

I shake my head, furious. “You can’t make that decision for me,” I say.

 

“Could everyone please leave us?” Vincent asks tersely. He is determined to have his way. Too bad I am too.

 

The room empties until it is only me and Vincent and Charlotte standing in the dappled light of the crystal chandelier.

 

“If we are making a tactical decision, I need to be here,” Charlotte explains apologetically.

 

We stand in a solemn triangle, no longer lovers and friends. Our feelings don’t matter anymore. We must be rational; a decision needs to be made—one that will affect everyone we know.

 

“I am one of you now,” I begin. “And I will not hide here to protect myself. I became the Champion for a reason. And whatever the prophecy actually means—whether I am to lead the bardia against the numa to my peril or to a victory that I actually survive—I know I am supposed to do this. I have to face Violette. I feel it here,” I say, and place my hand on my chest, inadvertently pressing the signum into my skin. I look into sad blue eyes. “Vincent, I have never felt more certain about anything.”

 

He continues to meet my gaze, as if waiting for me to change my mind. And then suddenly his shoulders slump and his head drops. He shuts his eyes and touches his fingers to his forehead.

 

“You win,” he murmurs, not looking at me. And then, all business, he says, “Charlotte, call everyone together. Tell them to phone the kindred they contacted earlier this evening. Everyone will assemble, fully armed, at the northeast corner of the park surrounding the arena.” Charlotte nods and goes to inform the others.

 

Vincent and I are left alone in the foyer. He looks at me like I’m a stranger. As if he is seeing me for the very first time. The three feet between us feels like a mile. “This could be it, Kate. It could be the end of all of us. It could very likely be the end of you.”

 

“I know,” I say, raising my chin.

 

He is quiet. “My first feeling when I heard you had animated was joy,” he says finally. “I thought that this was the answer to all of our problems. That we could be together forever. Even though I ached that you would be forced to follow such a difficult path, I thought that together we could make it something good and beautiful.”

 

“Vincent, I . . . ,” I begin, but he holds a hand up, asking me to let him finish.

 

“Then Bran told us you were the Champion. And I lost that joy. Because I knew you would never be allowed to be yourself again. You would always carry a great responsibility—the survival of our kindred as well as the protection of the city. The country. That is . . . you would carry that responsibility until the day you were called into action against the numa. And I knew that when that day came, the victory you led us to might prove a tragedy for you. For me and for your family. You can so easily be destroyed. You are the target.”

 

I take a deep breath, knowing he is right. “My grandparents and sister know what a revenant is and the dangers that go with it. They have had a couple of days to accept that.” I pause. “It’s as if my country were at war and I was going to defend it in battle. Mamie and Papy wouldn’t want me to be a soldier. But now that I am one, they will understand any sacrifice I make.”

 

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