Heart of the Demon

chapter Twenty





Finn sat by Keira’s bedside, holding her cool hand in his. He stared at the beeping machine monitoring her vitals. By the time they’d gotten her to the hospital, the iron from the bullet had been in her system for several hours. The doctors had successfully removed it and were getting fluids into her as quickly as possible, but ultimately it was up to Keira and her body’s ability to heal itself. The medical staff wasn’t sure what kind of lasting damage, if any, there might be. The fey weren’t like shapeshifters, who could heal from almost any wound, or vampires, who only needed to feed.

Iron was deadly to the fey, and Keira had sat around with a chunk of it near her heart. If something happened to her, if she didn’t survive this…he was going to kick some doctors’ asses from here to forever and back again.

If he lost her, he would never know how bright his life could have been. He knew as surely as he knew his own name that he’d never find another woman who touched his soul in the same way.

Over the past weeks, months even, while he was focused on his mission, this woman had barreled past his defenses. She’d carved out a spot in his heart, a spot that now took up most of the space. If she wasn’t there to fill it, he’d have a great, gaping emptiness within him for the rest of his life.

Finn tightened his grip on Keira’s hand, willing her to get better. And finally admitted to himself that he did love her. He could no longer deny it. This slender, stubborn, beautiful redhead was the love of his life. Whenever he was with her he had the time of his life, even outside of her bed. That, for him, was a rare thing. She was the closest thing to a best friend he’d ever had.

He figured when one could find a lover and a best friend rolled up into one person, it was magic and it should be guarded as the piece of heaven it was. He’d never thought he’d get so lucky. But here was his slice of paradise, lying before him.

He wasn’t going to let her go without a fight. When she woke up—and it would be when, not if—he’d tell her how he felt. There’d be no more secrets. If she let him, he’d spend the rest of his life making it up to her.

He’d successfully completed his mission, even if it had taken five other people to help him. He’d checked in with Lucifer and had given him a brief update. The important thing was the machine was destroyed, and his father would have to uphold his end of the bargain. For the first time in a long time Finn would be free of Lucifer’s influence. Free to be his own man. And the first thing he wanted to do was shackle himself to Keira.

Finn stared down at her. At some point the medical staff had bathed her. They’d even washed her long hair then fashioned it in a loose braid that draped over one shoulder. He brought her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to her palm. Bending his head, he held her hand against his mouth. He clenched his teeth and fought back the heaviest fear he’d ever experienced. He’d never been so helpless in his life. If he could fight this battle he gladly would, but it was something taking place on a battlefield he couldn’t reach. There was nothing he could do now but pray, to whatever deities might be out there listening. “Please,” he whispered. “Please.”

Minutes ticked by. An hour. He stood and stretched. Loath to leave her, he paced the small room, desperation riding him. On his hundredth trip from the window back to the bed, he noticed his father standing in the doorway. “How long have you been there?” Finn asked.

“Not long.” Lucifer shoved his hands in his pockets and walked into the room. His voice quiet, he lifted his chin toward the bed. “She’s not doing well, I take it?”

“No, she’s not.” Finn sighed and stood at the foot of the bed. “They were able to get the bullet but it’s taking a long time for the iron to work its way out of her system. The best thing for her is to be outside where she could absorb energy from the Earth, but it’s too dangerous to move her just yet.”

“So bring the Earth to her.”

Finn gave a nod. “I thought of that, too, but according to one of the fey doctors on staff, it’s not that simple. The energy she draws upon is from the interconnectivity all living things have to each other. It’s not just from the dirt, it’s from the tree that’s in the dirt. It’s from the bugs and animals in the tree and in the ground.” He scrubbed the back of his neck. “It’s…complicated.”

“I see.” Lucifer stared at Keira for several seconds, then put his hand on Finn’s shoulder. “I’m proud of you,” he said, his voice deep. He met Finn’s eyes. “I knew you could do this, and you proved me right.”

“Thank you.” Finn searched his father’s gaze and was met only with veracity. It was the first time in recent memory that the old devil had praised him for anything. Maybe it was because Finn had given up on trying to please Lucifer, but he’d given up because he’d never gotten any recognition. At least now, when it really mattered, his father had said the words a son needed to hear.

“I know I’m not the kind of father that engenders the warm fuzzies,” Lucifer went on. “It’s not because I don’t care.”

“I know that.” Finn realized his father was uncomfortable with sharing his feelings and, in fact, preferred not to acknowledge them at all. He supposed that kind of attitude was in large part what made him so successful as the leader of demons.

“Even though you won’t be working for me anymore,” his father went on, “I hope you’ll let me throw work your way from time to time. Once your security business is up and running, that is.”

Finn frowned. He was pretty sure he’d never spoken his dream aloud in his father’s presence. “How did you…”

Lucifer shrugged. “People tell me things.”

“I guess they do.” Lesson learned there. If Finn didn’t want his father to know something, he had to keep it to himself. Although there were prets out there who could pluck the thoughts right out of your head. They were rare, and he’d never met any, but he’d bet his last dollar his father knew at least one. And that one probably owed him a favor or two. “Guess I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.”

His father grinned. He looked at Keira and the smile left his face. “You let me know if there’s anything I can do for her, all right?”

Finn gave a nod.

“And call if there’s anything I can do for you, son.”

“I will.”

Lucifer patted his shoulder and walked out of the room, pausing in the doorway. He turned back and looked at Keira. His face tightened. “Caladh MacLoch has much to answer for.” He shook his head and left.

Finn took up his vigil beside the bed. He took Keira’s hand, gently sandwiching it between his much larger ones. He wasn’t sure how long he’d sat there when her fingers moved within his grasp. At first he thought it was his imagination, but then they twitched again. He jerked up his head and stared into her face. “Keira? Sweetheart? Can you hear me?”

Her eyelids fluttered and after a couple of tries they swept up to reveal her blue eyes, seemingly alert but for the lingering grogginess of sleep.

“Hey, there.” He smoothed her hair off her forehead. “How’re you feeling?”

“Better.” Her voice was raspy.

Without letting go of her hand, he reached for the cup of ice chips a nurse had left on the bedside table. He dipped the spoon and pulled it out with a piece of ice. “Here,” he said. When she opened her mouth he placed the ice on her tongue. He replaced the spoon in the cup. “The doctors say you should be fine,” he said, not wanting to give her the full truth until he thought she’d be up for hearing it. That truth was they were hopeful, optimistic even, but really didn’t know. “Do you have any feeling in your left side?”

She thought about it, her face scrunching up. “My leg tingles a bit. And it hurts on that side when I breathe, so I suppose some of the numbness must be fading.” She shifted against the sheets, a wince tightening the corners of her mouth.

“Well, that’s a good sign,” he said. “At least you’re feeling something now. Can you move your legs?”

Her right leg slid under the covers, then her left, and she let out a cranky, “Ow.”

“Let’s not do that again for a while,” Finn offered.

“Yes, let’s not.” She stared at their joined hands and began to play with his fingers. Finally she whispered, “I should have trusted you.”

“When?” he asked. Deciding to be fair about it, he added, “When I was lying to you, maybe? Or telling Liuz it didn’t matter if he killed you? Is that when you should have trusted me?”

“That bit did worry me a smidge,” she admitted with a small smile. She raised her eyes to his. “I believed you when you said all those months ago that you wanted to do more with your life. I should have come right out and asked you what was going on instead of letting my own insecurities allow me to make assumptions. I should have been there for you, like a friend would be.”

Finn brought her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss in her soft palm, folding her fingers over as if he could keep it stored there. God knew she had his heart in her hands. “The same could be said of me, you know. You’d cleaned up your act. And there I was, ready to believe you’d so easily slide back into old habits.”

“It wasn’t easy, yet it was.” She wet her lips and it made him want to lean over and kiss her. But she was in no condition for him to get frisky, so he reined in his libido. Keira went on. “I was amazed myself at how simple it was to walk right back into that old life. It’s very addicting.”

“That rush when you’re on a job?” he asked. She nodded and he huffed a sigh. “Well, regardless, I should have trusted you more, too. So I guess both of us were a little too quick to believe ill of the other. We have a lot to learn about trust. About each other.”

“Yes, we do.” She paused. Just as he said, “Keira, I have something to tell you,” she said, “Finn, look, about us.”

They both stopped, stared at each other while an awkward silence grew. Finally he said, “I know the gentlemanly thing to do would be to tell you to go first, but I need to tell you something.”

“All right.” She sat quietly, holding his hand, her calm gaze on his.

He couldn’t meet her eyes and tell her what he needed to. Give him a big, badass demon or vampire to kill and he was Mr. Mighty. Confess his love for one woman? Mr. Wimpy. He cleared his throat. “I should have told you this weeks ago, Keira. When I first realized it. But I denied it even to myself. Especially to myself. Because I didn’t think I was ready. I had too many other plans.”

When he didn’t go on, she said, “Finn? What exactly is it you’re trying to tell me?”

“I shouldn’t have hidden behind a mediocre word like ‘care.’” He swore he could hear her in his head, saying You need to look a woman in the eyes when you tell her you love her, you great big lummox. He knew she didn’t have that capability, but if he mumbled it while staring at her hand, he’d be depriving them both of something special. Something worthwhile. He cleared his throat again and met her gaze. “Keira O’Brien, I love you. When I thought you were going to die…” He pressed his lips together and blinked to clear sudden moisture from his eyes. “I knew if you weren’t in my life I’d be empty the rest of eternity.”

Her mouth opened and she stared at him with wonder swirling in her gaze. “I need to sit up,” she said. She craned her neck, wincing, her hands patting along the bed. “Where’s the control thingy?”

“Take it easy. It’s right here.” Finn picked it up where it lay slightly beyond her fingertips. He gave it to her and she pressed the up button. When she got it where she wanted, he stood and adjusted her pillows.

“Thanks.” She searched his eyes. “You must know I love you, too.”

His heart expanded until he thought it might blow a hole through his chest. “You seemed fond of me, but not really interested in anything deeper than that. Every once in a while I wondered if there was something more between us.” He shook his head.

“I couldn’t let you see how I felt. I didn’t want to jeopardize the mission. And you seemed so sincere, even if you were a tad uncooperative, with the rogue group. I chalked that stubbornness up to you being you.” She swallowed, the movement drawing his gaze to the soft column of her throat. “I do love you,” she whispered, bringing his gaze back to her face. Tears flooded her eyes and suspended on her lashes. “With all my heart. But sometimes I feel like my heart’s only this big.” She held up one hand, her forefinger and thumb about an inch apart. “I try, Finn. I do. Caring and compassion aren’t natural for me. They never have been. Maybe it’s because I got drawn into grifting early in my life and was surrounded by people who used me, who betrayed my trust. And it seems like when I let my guard down, someone like Caladh comes along. I have to work at it. Trust and caring, I mean.”

“Sweetheart, we all have to work at it. And don’t you dare let Caladh’s deception make you doubt yourself. He fooled us all.” He leaned forward and placed his lips on hers, a gentle meeting of hearts and souls, for the first time their emotions truly laid bare. He drew back and swiped at her tears. “For those to whom love comes with difficulty, when they give it it’s that much more precious. I wouldn’t change a thing about you, Keira. Not one thing. You’re my match in every way.”

He slanted his mouth over hers again. Her lips parted and he drank down her sigh.

“Well, I guess this is a sign she’s feeling better,” came a feminine voice from the doorway. It was pain-in-his-ass Nix.

Finn released Keira and gave her a grin, then twisted so he could look at his almost sister. “Hello there, little cousin.”

She scowled. “Don’t call me that.” By now she gave him that directive without much heat. She looked at Keira. “The docs say you’re gonna be fine,” she said. “Anyway, I thought you both would like to know what’s been going on.”

Finn took Keira’s hand in his again. Keira nodded, her eyes wide and dark. “What’s happened with Caladh? Was he the one who killed Deoul?”

“Tobias is certain he did, but they’re still running tests and questioning the bastard.” She frowned. “He’s not talking. They’re holding him in the cells in the basement of the council building, awaiting trial for treason and, most likely, murder in the first degree.” She folded her arms over her chest. “There’s no way he’ll be able to argue a lesser plea, since it’s clear he premeditated Deoul’s murder. Allegedly.” Her scowl deepened.

“I can’t believe it,” Keira murmured. “I never picked up on anything like that from him. Of course, I was barely around him when he was with Deoul. Plus, I think he was quite adept at masking his emotions.”

“Probably. He’s obviously much better at being sneaky than any of us gave him credit for.” Nix glanced at Finn. “Tori and Dante called right after we dropped you off here and told us they set off several charges, both on the machine and in various places throughout the mine, including the entrance. No one’s going to be able to use that machine ever again.”

“You mentioned schematics? And what about the smaller device Liuz was using as a radio transceiver?” Finn stroked his thumb idly back and forth on Keira’s wrist.

“As soon as we figure out where he was living, we’ll search for the schematics.” Nix shrugged. “As far as the device, we can only hope the one he had was it. And it got buried with him in the mine.”

“I met him once at a house,” Finn offered. “I don’t know if it was his place or not—it was decorated in early thrift-store style, and I always figured him to be someone who would surround himself with nice things. Expensive things. Maybe he was waiting until he was ruler of the world.”

“Do you remember where you met him?”

Finn gave a nod. “I’ll text you the address.”

“Great. Thanks.” She looked at Keira. “I hope you feel better soon. We should do lunch once you’re out of here.” With that she gave a small wave and left.

“I’d love to do lunch,” Keira murmured. She laughed. “I like her.”

“You should have known her when she was part human. Boy, was she cranky.”

Keira’s smile widened. “I’m sure that had nothing to do with you.”

“Of course not.” He shot her a grin.

She shoved the covers off her legs and swung them to the side, then pulled the pulse oximeter from her finger.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Finn stood up. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Home.” She rubbed her forehead with her fingers. “I’m ready to get out of here. I need to feel the Earth against my skin.”

“Is the numbness completely gone?” he asked.

“It sure is.”

“Uh-huh.” Finn shook his head. Her tone had been falsely light. “Don’t kid a kidder, sweetheart.” He gently swung her legs onto the mattress. “Back in bed you go.” She started to protest and he said, “Until the docs clear you, this is where you need to be. And you know it.” He put the pulse oximeter back on her finger, knowing he did it only because she let him. “I’ll bring in some dirt or something for you.”

“Very funny.”

He could see by the paleness of her skin and the bruised look around her eyes that she was still tired and weak. The fact that she went back into bed so easily only confirmed what his eyes told him. He had no doubt that if she could get to her little grassy patch of ground in the backyard that she’d be able to heal herself. But it was the getting her there that could cost her her life. For now she had to stay put and let the medical staff do what they could to shore up her strength.

She dug her head into the pillow, trying to get comfortable, and winced. “See?” he asked in a gentle voice. “You’re not ready to go home, warrior princess.”

Her lips twitched. She looked into his eyes and whispered, “Stay with me.”

“Always. And for us, that’s a long time.” He sat on the edge of the bed and brought her hand to his mouth and pressed his lips to her knuckles. He rested their hands on his knee. “We have a life to build together. Just think: with my background as an enforcer and your grifting skills, we can run a top-notch security company, a solid foundation to build our future on.”

“Sounds lovely.” Her eyes drooped.

He dropped his mouth lightly on hers. “Sleep well, sweetheart. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

If fate were willing, he would always be there for her, and she for him. And if fate had other ideas, they’d fight it together.