“Leave, now,” Blyl spat toward Jiren.
“I’m sorry, Blyl. Marren’s not dead.” I quickly jabbed my elbow into his ribs and grabbed the hilt of his sword and pulled. I pushed him to the ground and went after Jiren, who ran as soon as he saw me take down Blyl. Something told me he let me do it. He believed me. I know he did.
I followed the aura of Jiren out of the mountain halls, running until my sides ached and my throat hurt. I had no idea where I had run to or what he was doing standing in the middle of a meadow, filled with grass and flowers that reached his waist. He slowly turned around and faced me.
“You are a sorry excuse for an existence,” I spat.
His chuckle floated on the air. “Maybe, but I never lose.”
“Fight me, and I’ll prove you wrong.”
Again he laughed. “Not yet, pup.”
“Fight me, coward!” I fought back tears.
“Be careful what you wish for,” he said and took a step closer to me. As he came into clearer view, he wasn’t himself, but Marren.
“Bastard!” I ran toward him, sword poised to run him through.
“Relena, wait!” Marren’s voice shot from his mouth, halting me. He had the perfect tone and pitch. Exactly like him. My heart thudded slightly then I realized it was all part of his trick, his useless scheme.
“You are a liar! What is so wrong with living on the mortal realm?”
“Relena, drop your sword. It’s me.” Jiren’s attempt to get me to drop my guard didn’t work this time, no matter how much he sounded and appeared like Marren.
“No, you are not my Marren.” My sword shook. I struggled to regain control.
“Relena, look at me. See me, I am Marren.”
“No, you aren’t,” I said, my voice carrying on the air.
“Relena, please! It truly is me!”
“If it really is you, what did you tell me the first night we were together?”
“Relena, please. This isn’t the time,” he worked harder, even taking on the resigned tone and stature Marren would when running thin on patience with me.
“Oh, I think this is the perfect time,” I said.
He sighed. “What part do you want?”
“Everything.”
“Relena,” I caught the falter in the image. Jiren was losing his hold. He was losing his patience.
“Your mind games aren’t going to work on me. You will never have the light Marren holds in his eyes. You will never have the warmth of his skin or the love in his touch. You will never gaze at me the way Marren does. Never. You are jealous of him, and you wanted to stop at nothing to show him just how much higher above him you are. Well, you will never amount to the person Marren is. Never in a thousand years or ages. You will always be less than him.”
I ran toward him, not willing to back down and convincing myself further he was Jiren not Marren. Just before I reached him something dark swooped up and snatched him from me. They disappeared beyond the line of trees bordering the meadow. I fell, thrusting the sword into the ground instead of Jiren’s heart, where I aimed.
***
I was brought back to the mountain and wasn’t punished for injuring Blyl. In fact, they expected Jiren would do something to make Marren appear dead as one last desperate attempt to dissuade the races and make them defect to his side.
Somehow, they still believed me. But for the sake of appearances, I had to remain in the room and wait. Either for Marren to come find me or for someone to find him. A group had been sent to search for him, but no sign of him has been found.
I begged for Enid and Danst to keep me company. The Ancients remained hesitant, not wanting to send the wrong impression to the races. I assured them, no one would know. I wanted them there to help keep me safe. Despite the argument they would have guards rotated, they decided Jiren could infiltrate the mountain and take on any form he desired. They eventually agreed.
The first night, Danst slept in the chair next to the bed, Enid stood up the entire night, and I slept in my bed. It wasn’t a restful sleep. I had horrible dreams Marren was stuck somewhere dark, inside a Tombcell that couldn’t be easily reached, and hidden away somewhere deep inside the forest beyond the mountains.
***
I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. Despair and loneliness were my only companions. The nightmares were my lovers at night.
Enid and Danst left to help find Marren. I tried to tell them I could be of use, but they refused to let me, concerned for the unborn child’s wellbeing. I knew they meant well, but it had been so long since I’d seen Marren, and I missed him like a part of me was missing. Six days passed, and I felt my grip on life slipping away…along with Marren’s.