“You won’t break anything.” He ran at me, this time much faster, tackling me to the floor. A loud crack and a sharp pain entered my ribs, and I hit my head hard against the floor, leaving a spot filling with blood, despite a lack of pain. I kicked him off me and tried rolling to my side to get up. He overpowered me, pinning my legs in between his and my arms above my shoulders. “See?”
I panted, trying to push the wave of desire back, not wanting to change in the middle of that above all. I tried to struggle from under him. He held me in place, chuckling under his breath at my feeble attempts to break free. A light shone in his onyx eyes that I didn’t catch before. His smile faded as his gaze softened, and he gently touched his lips to mine. Slowly, his kiss deepened, becoming harder, more feverish. He released my hands, sliding his down the length torso to my waist. In one thrilling swoop, he lifted me to my feet.
“Something has you in a lighter mood tonight,” I said.
“I’m simply experiencing the euphoric effect you have on me.”
“I hate you,” I teased.
“Why?” It came out in his chuckle.
“You have a beautiful world, a beautiful language, such amazing, beautiful things to say to me, and that makes me feel inadequate. I don’t have a beautiful world to give you or a beautiful language, and my words are plain compared to yours.”
“Relena, you gave more than you can ever possibly understand. You don’t need fancy words, a different language, or a different world to be adequate for me. I’m the one who should feel that way. I’m the inadequate one. I say those things not just because I mean them but also because anything less would not be worthy of you. What you gave me is beyond what words can say. Your gift is the rarest beauty, the most sacred of all…You gave me yourself.”
As he spoke, his words touched me. My heart fluttered. I focused through the tears filling my eyes as I reached eager fingertips to his lips. I slid my hand along his face to the back of his head, closing the space between us. I paused before my lips connected to his and whispered, “I love you.”
He squeezed me, bringing my lips to his. Our emotions, for the first time, were aligned. With the way it seemed, I was sure a light shone between us, like a sun, that filled the room and flowed down the hall, over the balcony, and into the world, spreading the light of our love.
But the dark side of our love shadowed our moment in the form of a painful cramp, like a dozen blades slicing across my torso, coursed throughout my body. My skin seared red hot as though layers were peeled off. I couldn’t move. The hurt was too much. I was forced under the weight of the pain and held under as the change ripped through me.
When my skin seemed to no longer cover my bones, the sensation of acid poured on me took over. The fire coursed through my veins until nothing remained but ash and bone. Even then, the pain didn’t stop as every section of bone was shattered by boulders. Once I had no more to be consumed, the pain ripped through me again, starting over from the beginning, with the sensation of peeling muscle and skin, taking the layers one at a time, and as slowly as possible, so that the pain turned bittersweet.
Marren said I wouldn’t die, but I wished I would. The pain was incomparable to anything I had ever experienced before. I wanted it to end, to never experience pain again. Yet, it kept coming. I endured the continuous sensation of being consumed, piece by piece, for what I thought lasted like hours. Then an ease in the intensity. Until the pain ebbed, leaving me afraid to move for fear it would rush back through me again.
Marren’s hands smooth over my body. I became aware of my surroundings. Instead of standing, I lay with my eyes closed and in bed.
You aren’t dead waya, you survived, Marren’s voice entered my mind.
You hear my thoughts?
I didn’t know until you thought you were dead.
Huh. Can everyone hear my thoughts now?
No. I can’t hear Enid’s nor can he hear mine.
But Joe’n spoke to me.
Did she? He sounded surprised, even in my head.
In my mind, yes.
What did she say?
She told me to not fear. I had a pure heart and soul.
She can speak to you, but you cannot speak to her. It is something she does to ease those in pain, worried, sick, or to convey a private message. I doubt it works all the time. You need to be open to it.
There is still so much I don’t know, and I fear I will never fully understand your world.
You will, someday.
We laid in silence, curled into each other. I thought about Marren, and the way we share our emotions when we touch. He probably experienced the same thing. Are you okay?
Yes, why?
You experience what I feel…
What I share with you is more emotional pain, rather than physical. I’m more concerned with you and how you are holding up.
I’m not looking forward to the change anymore.
His body shook. I tensed, afraid of pain.
I warned you the change would be painful.
Yes, but you didn’t tell me it would be that much.
I didn’t know. It’s been many years since I first changed, and the pain is a faded memory to me. I can’t remember much of it.