I nodded. “Yes.”
I followed Marren into the dining hall. The large table taking up the center with chairs surrounding it seemed too formal for a dinner for two. The fact didn’t stop Marren from pulling out a chair at the corner for me. Flattered by his gesture, I took it, and he took the chair at the head. Immediately, a servant with the same dark skin, hair, and eyes walked in and set a few plates of a roasted meat, string beans, and a slice of bread on the table along with a thick cloth and silverware. Another brought in two silver goblets and filled them with red wine.
“So tell me,” he said, digging into his plate. “How old were you when your mother left?”
A bit of a heavy topic over dinner…
“It’s been about ten years, so I was ten.” I stuck my fork into a bean and placed it in my mouth.
He nodded. “I understand why you keep yourself guarded. I suppose circumstances would be the same with me if it were in the reverse.”
I peered at him, wondering why we were still talking about this topic, and came to realize he appeared the same as he always did. For the entire time I’d known him, he hadn’t aged. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” he said.
I licked my lips, which were as dry as sand. “How old are you?”
He stopped cutting into his meat and shifted his gaze to me as his hair fell along his shoulders. He sat with the stillness of a statue sitting in the ballroom. My heart did a nervous lurch.
“I’ve known you for five years, and in that time, you’ve never appeared any older.”
He dropped his gaze, a grin stretching his lips, and resumed cutting. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me,” I said in a rush, almost too fast and letting on to the ball of fear forming in my stomach like an iron weight.
“You should eat.”
“That’s it? Avoiding another question?”
“I intend to answer your question. Just not right at this moment. I would love to pick back up where we left off in the garden.”
“Okay.” It came out sounding like a question.
“You were explaining the reason for my self-inflicted luck.”
“Yes, I know.” I cleared my throat and took a sip of tart, warm wine. “Did my explanation help?”
I shoved a piece of meat into my mouth. The flavor was sweet and tangy, not too spicy.
“It doesn’t explain why the one I would love to give everything to will not take it.” His gaze grew heavier, forcing me to look away.
The fear in the pit of my stomach formed a knot, and for a moment, I thought I was going to vomit. I had given up on anything resembling a romantic relationship a long time ago, and I was thrown right into the midst of someone who wanted it. I was damaged and incomplete. Most of all, I was so unsure of myself. Before, I recognized what I wanted and how to get it. Now, it seemed like that was taken away without my knowledge, leaving me alone, cold, and afraid.
“Well?” Marren asked, sounding patient.
I laughed, playing off my nervousness for nonchalance, and moved my hands to my lap to keep them from shaking where he could see. “Now you’re not referring to me are you?”
“I’m not listing names,” he said with a playful tone.
“Names? As in more than one? Well, okay then.” I paused a few breaths. “Maybe they don’t believe someone like you would be interested in them, or maybe they don’t believe they’re worth your time. Could even be something as simple as being too afraid you’d end up like everyone else in their past.”
He sighed and shifted his gaze, becoming lost in his thoughts. At least it appeared as such. I sipped on the wine, its flavor swam along my tongue and warmed my throat and belly. I stood then walked toward the fireplace to study the wonderful design along the mantel and hearth. The vines stretched and moved along the confines of the fire with the buds of the flowers opening. I gazed in awe as the petals fell to the floor, disappearing only to reappear as buds on the vine again.
Marren’s steps approach from behind. I saw the outline of his silhouette out of the corner of my eye.
“This place…I thought all magic left the mortal realm long before I was born. Then I see this, and Raden and the air in this place. I find it hard to describe.” I touched the wood of the vines. They jumped at my intrusion, ceasing movement at my touch. I let my hand fall to my side.
“It’s the same sort of enchantment you hold,”
“Over what, exactly?” How preposterous.
“Me,” he said and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward him.
His eyes held mine, quickening my heartbeats. A pang of panic and the desire to run away overwhelmed me. “Marren, I—”