Heart Song

Marren’s chuckle grew into a laugh. I tried to not let it sing to me, but I couldn’t fight for long. The sound controlled me, taking over my will. I joined in, laughing just as loud. I hated to admit how good it felt, even to myself.

 

“You should laugh more often,” he commented. His eyes held mine for a moment, and I caught the slight pull of his lips.

 

The soft lips… my heart did a strange flip before sinking lower. The shift in me scared me. I’m always careful to maintain better control of myself. I shifted my sight away from him and cleared my throat.

 

“So, am I wrong?” I asked to change the subject.

 

“About which part?”

 

“My observation of you.”

 

“Yes,” he said more serious.

 

I shifted, facing him with my legs bent around me. “Then tell me about yourself?”

 

“What do you want to know?” He almost sounded too willing.

 

“I’m not falling for that again. You made a habit of avoiding or disregarding my questions.”

 

“I won’t avoid or disregard your questions,” he said.

 

“Sure you won’t,” I said, teasing.

 

He took in a deep breath and let it out in a heavy huff. “I don’t believe the things you say about me because I don’t see them. I don’t think I’m all that great looking, so I can’t see how I use my charms to get my way. I feel alone in this seemingly overcrowded world, and I’m completely fascinated with you for reasons I can’t explain.”

 

His eyes fell on mine with the last words he said.

 

I sucked in my breath, caught by the way he laid everything out. I got the same sensation in the pit of my stomach as I had the night before. He was telling the truth, and I believed him. Even more so, I related to him. I, too, felt alone in this world and never considered myself a thing of beauty. Both of us deal with a haunting reputation. Then, he admitted he was fascinated with me which brought on a whole other flux of emotions. I didn’t know whether I wanted to take flight from elation or cry as the pun of a cruel joke. At that moment, it became clear he had knocked down the walls I built to protect myself. I was confused as well as terrified.

 

“You can breathe,” he said.

 

“I think I forgot how to,” I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

 

“Come on. I want to show you something.” He stood and held out his hand for me. After taking it, he led me down the stairs to the doors with the two armored figures on either side. He pushed them open, letting the sight of the garden fill my eyes. The jagged stone pathway circled around a giant statue of a woman bending over, gripping the ends of her dress, like she was about to step into a stream or prevent them from being frayed by the rough ground. Pure serenity filled her face. No worry wrinkled her brow, and no pain shone in her eyes. Her lips were relaxed and sealed in the faintest hint of a smile. The flower bushes growing around her pedestal had small pink buds poking out against the dark green leaves and branches.

 

We followed the path winding through the garden. On either side, bushes upon bushes of different flowers were starting to bud and release their sweet scents into the world. I walked with Marren at a casual stroll. The sounds of birds singing songs of joy filled the woods surrounding the garden. The sun sprinkled warmth on my face. A soft sigh escaped me.

 

“Do you believe me?” Marren asked.

 

“Believe what?”

 

He chuckled. “What I said in your room.”

 

“Yes. At least, I think so. Then again, I don’t know.” I let out a deep breath then added, “For the most part.”

 

“What don’t you believe?”

 

“That you don’t believe women swoon over you. You’re blind. They practically throw themselves at your feet.”

 

“Or, perhaps my gaze is otherwise preoccupied…”

 

“What do you mean by that?”

 

“Nothing, and not every woman throws herself at my feet. You don’t.”

 

“Now that isn’t going to work with me.” I stopped walking then grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop and set his gaze on me. “You can’t be cryptic with ‘nothing’ after saying something about being preoccupied. Besides, I have reasons for not swooning over you.”

 

“How would you feel if your appearance was what condemned you?” he asked.

 

I let my hand fall to my side. I understood what he talked about, and I fought hard to forget.

 

“I already know how that is…for different reasons,” I whispered, blinking away tears, and continued on the path.

 

“Is that why you try to keep yourself so guarded? What happened to you, Relena?” His words were soft and filled with concern.

 

“A lot of things someone in your position would never understand.”

 

“Please, tell me?” He held out his hand toward a bench off to the side of the path, nestled in between bushes of bright yellow buds.

 

I took a seat.

 

“You don’t answer half of my questions, why should I answer yours?” I tried to put as much effort into those words as I could, but fell short of any conviction.