Halfway to the Grave

We had reached the car, and he suddenly gave me a quick, sound kiss.

 

“I love that you did it to protect me, but next time, try aiming to wound, hmm? You know, maybe throw the knives at someone’s head instead? Then they’re incapacitated momentarily, but not reduced to a pile of rotting remains. Just food for thought.”

 

 

 

 

 

SEVENTEEN

 

 

 

 

EVEN WITH BONES’S SPEEDING, I WOULDN’T have time to shower before I went to class. I’d be lucky to make it if I only dashed in my apartment and changed clothes.

 

“I have to drop this off at Ted’s,” he was saying as I got out of the car. “Should be back in a few hours.”

 

“I’ll be asleep,” I muttered. “Do we have to—”

 

“Hi, Cathy!”

 

Timmie opened his door with a wide smile. He must have seen me through his window.

 

Bones gave Timmie a look that froze the smile on the younger man’s face.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had company,” Timmie apologized, almost tripping to hurry back into his apartment.

 

I shot Bones an equally hostile glare for rattling my already skittish neighbor. “It’s okay,” I said, smiling at Timmie. “He’s not really ‘company’ anyway.”

 

“Oh.” Timmie gave Bones a shy peek. “Are you Cathy’s brother?”

 

“Whatever would give you the idea that I’m her damn brother?” Bones snapped.

 

Timmie backed up so fast, he hit the back of his head against his doorframe. “Sorry!” he gasped, and banged into the door again before managing to scramble back inside.

 

I marched over to Bones and stuck my finger in his chest. He regarded me with what I would have called sullenness—if he hadn’t been over two hundred.

 

“You have a choice,” I said, biting off each word. “Either you make a very sincere apology to Timmie now, or you leave and slither back to your cave like the festering ball sack you just acted like. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but he’s a nice guy, and you probably just made him pee his pants. Your decision, Bones. One or the other.”

 

A dark brow arched at me. I tapped my foot. “One…two…”

 

He muttered something foul and then climbed the stairs, rapping twice on Timmie’s door.

 

“Right, then, mate, terribly sorry for my unspeakable rudeness, and I do beg your pardon,” he said with admirable humbleness when Timmie cracked it open. Only I could pick up the slight edge to his voice as he went on. “I can only say that it was caused by my natural affront to the notion of her as my sister. Since I’ll be shagging her tonight, you can imagine how I’d be distressed at the thought of rogering my sibling.”

 

“You schmuck!” I burst as Timmie’s jaw dropped. “The only thing you’ll be shagging tonight is yourself!”

 

“You wanted sincerity,” he countered. “Well, luv, I was sincere.”

 

“You can get right back in the car and I’ll see you later, if you’re not being such an ass!”

 

Timmie’s head swiveled back and forth between the two of us, his jaw still swinging open. Bones gave him a smile that was more just a baring of teeth.

 

“Nice to meet you, mate, and here’s some advice: Don’t even think about it. You try anything with her and I’ll neuter you with my bare hands.”

 

“Leave!” I stamped my foot for emphasis.

 

He swept past me and then swiveled, kissing me hard on the mouth before jumping back to avoid my right hook.

 

“I’ll see you later, Kitten.”

 

Timmie waited until Bones had driven out of sight before he dared to speak.

 

“That’s your boyfriend?”

 

I let out a grunt that I suppose was an affirmative.

 

“He really doesn’t like me,” he said, almost a whisper.

 

I gave one last look in the direction Bones disappeared to before shaking my head at his bewildering behavior.

 

“No, Timmie. I guess he doesn’t.”

 

 

 

I made it to class just as the professor was handing out the tests. My dirty, bruised, disheveled appearance caused a few looks and nudges that I pretended not to notice. Then, I was so tired, I didn’t even know what I scribbled down for answers. The rest of the classes were even worse. I nodded off in physics and had to be poked awake by the person next to me. When I got back to my apartment, I discovered my period had made its appearance.

 

It was official. My day sucked.

 

I used my last remaining energy to shower before flopping into bed. Five minutes later, there was a knock on my door.

 

“You’d better run,” I muttered, eyes closed.

 

The knock became louder. “Catherine!”

 

Oh shit. It was my mother. What’s up, God? Wanted to see how much I could take?

 

“Coming!”

 

I answered the door, bleary-eyed, in my pajamas. My mother brushed past me with a disapproving frown.

 

“You’re not dressed. The movie’s in less than an hour.”

 

Double shit! Today was Monday and I’d promised her we’d see a movie together. With everything going on, I’d completely forgotten.

 

“Oh, Mom, I’m sorry. It was a really late night and I’m just now getting to bed—”

 

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