My breathing faltered. Yes, of course I remembered. I had felt cold, empty, frozen, rooted to the spot, unable to breathe like I was drowning. “Yes.” I whispered.
Did he not want me to see his eyes because he knew what pain it caused? Was he being courteous?
“What do you want?” I tried again, “Why have you been following me?”
“This city is full of secrets and lies Avalon Redding. Its citizens hide and burry the truth. Do you know what I am? Do you know what I can do, Miss Redding?”
I growled, “Murderer.”
He laughed a humourless, cold laugh, “See what I mean? Secrets and lies.”
“Jack wouldn’t lie to me.” I hissed.
“You’re little healer friend didn’t know he was lying. No one knows the truth, because they’re all too afraid to ask.”
“I heard you curse people. I heard you sentence them to die, and follow them like an omen.”
Seth Swaggart let out a dark chuckle, “Well that does sound quite frightening. Were you scared, Avalon?”
I jerked angrily but I still couldn’t free myself, “No.” I lied.
Swaggart sighed and I felt his cool breath cascade over me, “That is not my Power, Redding. Far from it. I have made many mistakes in my life, and people assume the wrong things.”
“Well if you don’t want me dead, then why have you just dragged me into an alleyway?” I huffed angrily. I still didn’t believe him. He must be tricking me.
“I try so hard.” He whispered, “But I fail every time.”
“What are you talking about?” I demanded. I fumed silently at my stupid weak body.
“I do not curse people.” He hissed, “I sense death, Avalon Redding. I sense death and destruction, and I am drawn to those who radiate it.”
“You’re not making sense!” I cried, struggling and calling him a long string of disgusting names.
“You are so eager to assume that the whole world is against you, Redding. You barely stop to think about those whose lives are truly horrific. Selfish girl.”
He was right of course. I’d always known I was selfish. I had been telling myself for years that I wanted to leave home to protect Helena from me. Only now, pressed against the filthy wall by my stalker Seth Swaggart, did I realise my true atrocity. I had left home to protect myself from Helena. To protect myself from the fact that she was Human and I did not want to be caught hiding her from the Realm of Mages. I had run away to live, and not be imprisoned for this crime. This realisation struck my core so hard that I let out a sob of despair and felt my knees buckle. Only Swaggart’s vice like grip upon me kept me standing. I was a betrayer. I deserved to rot. Why now did I see the truth? The thing I had been hiding from even myself. I could have vomited from disgust. I felt dirty and didn’t want to be me anymore.
“The truth is scary, isn’t it?” Seth’s voice brought me back to reality.
“Please, leave me alone.” I begged. This emotional pain hurt more than anything he could have done to me physically.
“No, Avalon. You need to understand.”
“Understand what?” I cried. I hoped someone would hear me, for I was beyond screaming.
“What I am!” His voice was pleading now, and it calmed me slightly to hear him so panicked.
“Tell me then.” I muttered, my face completely numb now.
“Avalon, I do not harm people at all. I have never cursed, or followed someone as an omen.”
“Why did you hurt me then? Why have you been following me?”
“I told you before. I sense death. The moment you crossed my path all those months ago, my Power was drawn to you. It is involuntary. I cannot control it. But you must understand that I did not doom you. You were already doomed before I laid eyes upon you.”
My breath caught in my chest. What was he saying? That I was going to die soon, and his Power simply channelled people who were on death row?
“I don’t understand.” I whispered.
“I can sense when every single person in this disgusting city is going to die. It is never certain and is very hard to explain. It’s as though I can sense people’s life lines. My Power is drawn to those whose life lines are ridiculously short.
“Me.” I breathed.
“Yes. You.”
“But that was months ago.” I objected. Shouldn’t I be dead?
“It is still getting shorter.” Seth fretted. I only noticed now that his grip upon me had loosened now that I had calmed down. I thought about running, but I was listening to intently.
“Why did it hurt … when you looked at me?”
I heard Seth lick his lips before he explained, “When I … read … a short lifeline … it tends to be painful for that person. I’m not sure why. When I gaze upon someone with a long life line before them, I’m sure it might sting a little, but they would barely notice when I read it.”