I looked away and at the floor, thinking hard. What was I supposed to say? I felt for this man, against all my better judgement. I had been trying to deny it for weeks, but it was true. I had fallen for him, for his fake visage, for a man who only pretended to like me, so he could look into my face and see the woman he wished were really there. I remembered that he had kissed me, and I had felt fear because I knew that it had not been for me. It ached.
“I-I’m sorry that you lost your Madeline.” I stammered, “I see why you have done what you did. But really, I think I should go now, sir. There’s no way that I can help you make this better.”
“But there is.” Noah murmured as he inched closer, his hot breath washing over me, ruining my senses.
I wasn’t sure what he meant, but my whole body shook as Noah brushed my fringe from my face and let his fingers trail across my cheek and lips, parting them slightly. Part of me was screaming and the other part was too scared to make a noise. This felt terribly wrong. So why couldn’t I say no?
His eyes glinted again, this time in a malicious way that suggested unpleasant things crossing his mind.
“I just look like her Noah. I’m different … like you said.” I swallowed hard and leaned backwards, away from him, but he merely pressed himself against me. The contact made my mind reel.
“I’m not Madeline.” My voice shook as I reminded him of this very obvious fact.
“I miss her so much.” Noah whispered, his eyes closing as he reminisced. He still stunk of alcohol and I tried to convince myself that he would not be doing this if he were sober. I had witnessed before how alcohol had contorted this man into someone else. Perhaps this was why he drank; to drown out his misery. But he had drowned himself so far this time that he had lost who he was … who I was.
Before I could speak another word his lips were crushing mine again, his tongue seeking urgent entrance into my mouth. His strong arms held me to him, and my eyes were wide and scared as he wound his fingers though my hair. He did not hurt me, but his strength and urgency frightened me. There was no way I would be able to fight him off. But the thing that scared me most at this moment was the fact that I was not trying to fight back at all. I knew now that this was what Jack had been trying to protect me from. Not in his wildest dreams did he consider that I might not fight it. I felt a pang of hurt as I thought of Jack. He had wanted to protect me from this all along. He would be disgusted in me. I suddenly felt very dirty. My skin felt as though it had not been washed in weeks. I was contaminated. Noah was contaminating me. I felt as though I had been pulled from a trance.
I tried to push Noah away, but he was far too strong and didn’t even seem to notice. I felt my body growing hot as his mouth moved from mine and down my jaw, finally coming to my neck where he placed several urgent kisses and bit down on my flesh softly. I winced, but it didn’t hurt. His tongue licked at my neck and I felt a spasm of fear run down my spine.
“No.” I murmured, out of breath as though I had run a mile. I could feel the fire building up inside me, threatening to explode.
Noah ignored me, and it was at this point that I realised that I may be in danger. Fear gripped me and shook my entire being. I cried out, hoping, praying that someone might hear me. A sob caught in my throat which Noah ignored as his lips came back to mine.
His hands left my hair and traced the line of buttons down my chest. He was not gentle now. He ripped at my uniform and I heard the buttons scatter across the floor in every direction.
“No.” I protested more firmly now, “Please!” The fire would overflow at any moment, and we would be consumed.
Suddenly his hands were on my face, locking my tear filled eyes with his. They seemed to burn through my very soul, paralysing me with terror.
“Don’t fight back.” His voice was a deep rumble, a distant echo in my mind.
As soon as the words were out of his mouth I knew it was no use. My body went lax against my will, my arms dropping to my sides like a ragdoll. Noah was the puppeteer. My body wouldn’t move; I was limp and useless, standing there like a zombie. My mind screamed and protested, but I could do nothing for his Power controlled me. The fire ebbed away and I was defenceless.
Silent tears streaked down my face as he picked me up into his arms and dumped me onto his bed. I lay sprawled in an absurd position upon my stomach, trying to will myself to move, to fight back, but I was a prisoner in my own mind. Tears dripped from my face and onto the expensive linen, my vision blurred and I felt myself slipping away. I was scarcely aware of Noah hastily hitching up my uniform around my waist.
Before long his torso was pressing me against the bed, his breathing was hard in my ear. It felt as though my ribs might break under his crushing weight. I waited in fear for the moment that he would claim me. I hadn’t imagined it like this.
Jack, I thought, Jack, I’m sorry. You did tell me so. I wish I had listened to him.
Noah’s hand was in my hair, pushing my face against the mattress so I could barely breathe. Any second now … I held my breath and waited in horror. I heard Noah fumble with his belt and a moment later I heard it clatter to the floor.