A chill ran through me. Is that how I would look one day?
What would be left of me once I finally found a way to destroy the Minax I held in my heart?
TWENTY-NINE
“YOU MIGHT AS WELL WRAP ME IN sailcloth and dump me over the side,” Jaro moaned, gesturing past the railing to endless rolling waves. “Those Frostbloods will be the death of me!”
“All they want is to be given berths, same as the Sudesian sailors,” I said in a placating tone. A northeastern breeze grabbed my words and threw them back at me. Even the wind was arguing tonight. “Surely you can find room in the forecastle.”
“But I’ll have to put them right next to each other,” he cried, oblivious to the attentive ears of the crew, keeping busy at their newly assigned tasks on the main deck. “They’ll kill each other!”
I reached up and patted one of his hands, both of which were fisted in his already thin hair, one frustrated tug away from ripping out strands he could ill afford to lose. “You’ll find a way, Jaro. You always do.”
His shoulders slumped as he dropped his arms. “The prince can pay me double my usual wage for this trip.”
“I’m sure you can negotiate some extra pay with the captain.” I had no idea if that was true. I’d been telling everyone what they wanted to hear, walking on eggshells strewn over a tightrope for the past day. I was weak and hungry and could barely see straight, my eyes nearly crossing from exhaustion.
After leaving the cavern, Kai and I had accompanied Arcus to his ship. Kai had inspected the vessel thoroughly and quickly declared it too old, too slow, and in need of several repairs. After a certain amount of bickering, bribing, begging, and grudging compromise, we’d all agreed to take Kai’s ship with a combined crew of Sudesian and Tempesian sailors, along with a half dozen Fireblood masters, as decreed by the queen. The Sudesian sailors had only agreed to crew a ship alongside Frostbloods after we’d informed them that Kai would captain the ship.
Aver and Kaitryn already showed signs of becoming fast friends, leaping and scuttling along the lines like demented spiders. Jaro bellowed cautionary remarks at the ship’s girls, which earned him nothing but impish grins.
The storm that had gusted in the day before had blown itself out just as quickly. The Errant Princess had been hastily crewed and outfitted and we’d left port at dawn. The jewel-green island had disappeared in a gray haze.
Kai had set a course for Tempesia. We hoped Brother Thistle would be able to help us interpret the more cryptic passages of The Creation of the Thrones, which I’d retrieved from Prince Eiko’s observatory. Perhaps some hint, something hidden in the illuminations or in the symbols on some of the pages, would lead us to the Gate of Light.
Spyglasses were currently fixed on the horizon, though even the last streaks of sunset were fading. I was eager to curl up in whatever hammock or pile of sailcloth would serve as my bed. More permanent accommodations could be sorted out tomorrow.
“So, this is what perdition is like,” a low rumble said, followed by the sensation of cold. I shivered and turned to lean my back against the railing. Arcus and I hadn’t had a moment alone together in the rush to organize the voyage—not that we were alone now with the crew all over. Still, it was a relief to have a moment to soak up his presence.
“Ocean cruise not to your liking?” I asked, shaking my head to surrender my tangled hair to the wind’s questing fingers. My braid had come undone hours ago and I hadn’t bothered to repair it.
Arcus laid an arm along the railing and moved closer than what could be called, even by the most indifferent of observers, a polite distance. In his court, he’d been careful not to engage in physical displays unless we were alone. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was staking his claim on me.
My eyes were drawn to Kai, who stood on the quarterdeck, his eyes narrowed thoughtfully, hair charmingly mussed by the wind. How did he feel being back at sea only a day after taking his vows as master? Relieved? Disappointed? Indifferent? It was hard to tell. Despite his open-book exterior, he hid much behind that charismatic mask.
“Not when half the crew wants to kill the other half,” Arcus said, answering my earlier question.
I turned back to him and smiled, suddenly filled with gratitude that he was safe. The queen had gone from planning to imprison, interrogate, and possibly kill him, to letting him go. That change of heart was proof, to my mind, that she had been under the influence of the Minax, and was no longer. Now the Minax was my burden to bear, but so far, I only felt its presence as a distant throb, like a toothache that comes and goes.
I was also glad, I realized with a surprised jolt, not to have taken my vows as a master. I wasn’t sure until that moment how I really felt about it. I’d wanted the approval of the masters, the inclusion into their ranks, but I didn’t want the restrictions of pledging my life to the queen. It was good to know I still belonged to myself.
No matter what happened, I had this journey to spend with Arcus and I would savor it. I would store up each memory like a treasured gem strung on a chain. I hoped the warmth of those remembrances would help me to master the Minax when it woke. And when the time came to use my newfound Nightblood powers.
“The Frostbloods don’t want to kill the Firebloods,” I corrected, wrapping my hand around his arm. He covered my hand with his in a cool caress. “They just want to dump them overboard to see if they can swim. It’s more sporting that way. At least, that’s what I heard a few of your crewmembers saying.”
Arcus closed his eyes briefly. “It’ll be a miracle if everyone survives as far as land.”
“Well, we’ve already witnessed a few miracles… or events that are equally impossible. What’s one more?”
He leaned in, his voice lowering to an intimate volume. “We haven’t been alone until now, so I haven’t had a chance to ask. How are you doing?” His free hand lifted and his knuckle traced a path along my cheek. “You’ve been remarkably calm in the wake of some shocking revelations.”
I considered answering flippantly, but this was Arcus. He would persist until I told him the truth.
“Shaken,” I admitted. “Terrified. Determined.”
I looked up at him. The lanterns had been lit, casting a glow over the deck and brushing half his face in gold. He nodded slowly, but looked worried. In what started as a comforting gesture, I put a hand to his shoulder, feeling the hard muscle underneath the soft, dark shirt. The V-shaped collar exposed the bit of chest below his collarbone. Unable to help myself, I slid a hand to that enticing triangle sprinkled with hair. A pulse of coolness met my fingers, but it was as pleasant as heat. Better. Because it was from him.
Then somehow I was in his arms, struggling to get closer to the cold, hard wall of his chest. His arms bound me so tightly I feared being snapped in half. I laughed breathlessly.
“I missed you so much after you left,” he muttered, burying his nose against my neck. “I was so worried.”
“I missed you, too.” I had. I hadn’t realized how much until I’d seen him again.
“Next time you go, take me with you.”
I laughed again, tempted to point out that that might not always be practical. But the thought of practicality was sobering. Nothing had changed between us. Or if anything, matters had grown more complicated. He was still king of Tempesia, but now, against all odds, I was heir to the Sudesian throne. I should push him away. Tell him it would never work. The same reservations I’d had before should still be there, multiplied tenfold.