Fairy Bad Day

chapter THREE

Okay, so on a scale of one to ten, what are the chances no one’s heard?” Emma asked Loni on Monday morning as they hurried across the dew-laden quad that separated the dormitories from the rest of the school. As they went, Emma smoothed down her uniform of a mediumlength box-pleated skirt, a navy blazer with a white shirt, and a badly knotted dark green plaid tie. Funny that she could see and fight things that most people wouldn’t even dream existed, but ask her to knot a tie and she was all thumbs. Not that she really cared about her tie right now; she was more concerned about being publicly humiliated in front of the five hundred Burtonwood students who were currently sitting inside the cafeteria eating their breakfast.

“I’d say about negative six hundred and five.” Loni puffed as she readjusted the heavy bag that was slung over her shoulder. Her short black hair was gelled up so that her heart-shaped face looked even more heart-shaped than ever.

“You do realize that wasn’t the answer I was looking for,” Emma noted as Loni shot her an apologetic wince.

“Sorry. But what do you expect? This kind of news travels fast around here.”

“I know, but it’s so unfair. I mean, the explosion wasn’t my fault,” Emma protested as she touched the horrible eye patch the school nurse had insisted she wear after making her spend all of Sunday in the infirmary. Apparently, a small speck of debris from the explosion had flown in there and it had to be removed by a large magnetized needle and a lot of freaking out on her behalf. “All I did was follow those stupid fairies, and the next thing I know—boom! The whole place exploded, the kitchen was toast, and my eye wouldn’t stop aching. I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Besides, it’s not like anyone was hurt.”

“Yeah, including any fairies,” a voice rang out from behind them, and Emma spun around to see Glen Lewis.

“Did you miss that part in your handbook where it tells you that you’re actually supposed to kill them?” his twin brother, Garry, added, like part two of a bad comedy act.

“Just ignore them,” Loni advised as they both came to a halt in front of the large bronze statue of Sir Francis Edgar Hilary Mackay, who stood guarding the entrance of the cafeteria. Loni automatically reached up on tiptoes to touch Sir Francis’s forehead. “You know what ogre slayers are like. Idiots.”

“I know.” Emma sighed as she followed her friend in pressing two fingers onto the cold metal face of their founding father. She had no idea where the forehead-touching-forgood-luck tradition came from, but with the way her week was shaping up, she didn’t want to take any chances.

“After all,” Loni said as she brushed past the twins and walked through to the cafeteria entrance, “you might not be slaying a lot of fairies right now, but you’re stopping them from causing trouble. You should be proud, not embarrassed.”

“I agree. You should let everyone know how great you are.” Garry Lewis gave the statue a quick high five and followed them through, before raising his hands with a flourish. “In fact, allow me to do the honors. Ladies and gentlemen, can I please introduce Miss Emma Jones, the one-eyed, foodcourt-destroying, fairy-slayer extraordinaire.”

Well, so much for hoping that no one had heard about what happened, and as the entire cafeteria burst out laughing, Emma futilely pushed forward her straight brown bangs to try to hide her eye patch. If she had been smart, she would’ve remembered to leave her long hair loose, but out of habit she had hastily tied it back into a low ponytail when she’d gotten dressed. Something she was now regretting.

“Look,” Brenda Vance, an anally retentive demon slayer from Emma’s year, called out. “Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Oh, wait, it’s a fairy. Quick, let me blow it up.”

The laughter increased and Emma tried to concentrate on her breathing. The worst thing was that she couldn’t even blame them because it was true. After all, who had ever heard of a fairy slayer? It was stupid.

“Demon slayers are even bigger idiots than ogre slayers.” Loni bristled in annoyance as they both picked up orange trays and joined the line for their first meal of the day. “Just ignore the—” Loni continued, just as a voice called out from somewhere behind them.

“Yo, Curtis—nice job, man.”

“Three kills in one night? You rock,” another person added, and Emma spun around to see the lanky figure of Curtis Green standing at the cafeteria entrance propped up on crutches, his left leg covered in a fresh blue plaster cast. As the clapping continued, he raised an arm and shot the room in general a lopsided grin before he swung his way toward the back of the food line.

Right where they were standing.

Emma watched in horror as he joined them, the final confirmation she was having a bad morning.

“Hey, Jones. What happened to you?” he asked as he came to a halt and leaned forward on his crutches, studying her eye patch with interest. The top half of him was in a regular white shirt, blazer, and a tie (perfectly knotted, she might add, which didn’t improve her opinion of him), but his gray trousers had been replaced by a pair of faded track pants that were slit up the side to accommodate his cast.

“Like you don’t know,” Emma snapped as she inched away from him. He might be only fifteen, but at six feet, with broad shoulders and blond curls that fell this way and that across his chocolate-brown eyes, Curtis Green took up far too much space. There should be a law against it.

“Fine.” He shrugged as he awkwardly reached into his backpack and started to pull out a yellow folder. “The thing is, we really need to start—”

“Oh, hey, Curtis.” Loni suddenly stepped in between them and pointed over to the long table where most of the sophomores were sitting. “I think Tyler wants you. Why don’t I grab you something to eat and you can go and see him.”

“Um, okay,” he said slowly, for a moment looking surprised before making his way through the cafeteria over to where Tyler was sitting. The minute he was gone, Emma spun around and stared at her friend in shock.

“Excuse me, but did you just offer to get Curtis Green his breakfast?” she demanded. “You do remember that he’s my self-declared archenemy, don’t you?”

“He has a broken leg,” Loni defended as they shuffled forward in the line. “Besides, he had to deal with the embarrassment of getting caught in a fence while trying to fight a group of rogue dragons on his Saturday patrol. It isn’t exactly the stuff comic book legends are made of. I thought he might be feeling bad.”

Emma glanced over to where Curtis was now the center of attention and tried to bite back her bitterness. “Yeah, he looks like he’s really suffering. Though I’m sure his pain has been eased by the fact that he took down three dragons before he passed out. What do I have? Nothing but mockery and a sore eye.”

“It’s not that bad,” Loni insisted as she nudged Emma forward.

“In five weeks I haven’t managed to slay one fairy. How is that not bad? And I really don’t think Saturday’s disaster has done me any favors.”

“Emma, it’s just breakfast,” Loni defended as they finally reached the front of the line. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Of course it’s a big deal,” a red-cheeked cafeteria worker behind the counter clucked at them both. “It’s the most important meal of the day. So, girls, how do you want your eggs? Scrambled or poached?”

“Scrambled, thanks,” Emma forced herself to reply. She didn’t feel remotely hungry, but she didn’t want to face one of Kessler’s a-slayer-slays-on-their-stomach speeches either, so she just plastered on a smile as the woman handed her a plate piled high with eggs, bacon, and toast and then did two more for Loni.

Her fake smile was put to the test even more when Loni proceeded to get two types of juice and three kinds cereal because she wasn’t sure what Curtis would like. Emma helped herself to some granola, which she probably had a better chance of eating than a cooked breakfast. She watched Loni try to juggle the two trays and her large backpack before she finally relented.

“Look, give me that and I’ll go get us a table while you take that over to ‘poor’ Curtis.”

“Thanks, Em. I won’t be long.” Loni gratefully passed over her backpack and hurried to where the sophomores were all sitting while Emma hitched it over her other shoulder and picked up her tray from the counter. It didn’t take her long to spot an empty table, and she sank as low as she could into her chair just as Loni reappeared.

“Turns out Curtis likes granola best. I would’ve thought he was a Lucky Charms sort of guy.” Loni put down her tray and settled into her chair as Emma narrowed her one good eye.

“Oh my God, is that what this is about? Are you crushing on Curtis Green? Because we’ve been through a lot together, but I swear this could be the thing that breaks us.”

“Of course I don’t have a crush on Curtis.” Loni busied herself with her breakfast. “I’m just saying that he likes granola and you like granola. Oh, and by the way I found out he’s a Sagittarius, which means that you two are highly compatible. Don’t you think that’s interesting?”

“No.” Emma put down her spoon with a clatter. “I do not. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Her friend shook her head. “Honestly, Emma, you’re getting very suspicious in your old age.”

“I’m fifteen.”

“Yes, well, you were a lot more trusting when you were fourteen,” Loni replied.

“Maybe my friends didn’t act all weird when I was fourteen?” Emma countered. “Now please, Loni, tell me what’s going on.”

Loni looked at Emma and sighed. “Fine,” she said, reluctantly reaching out for the heavy bag that was now sitting on one of the spare chairs. “At our Sunday afternoon meeting, instead of just recapping how our Saturday patrols had gone, Kessler gave out our new assignments for Alternative Slaying Practices. I was going to bring it over to your dorm room last night, but I ended up slaying until midnight.”

“Since when do goblins stay up so late? And when did you start slaying on a Sunday?” Emma lifted an eyebrow in surprise since, as a rule, goblins were like fairies and tended to go out during the day. That, however, was where the similarities ended since everyone knew goblins were ruthless killers who didn’t think twice about murdering humans and causing all kinds of havoc. Loni was so lucky.

“It wasn’t goblins.” Loni reached over and plucked a yellow folder off the top of the pile and handed it to Emma. “Kessler decided that we should team up with another slayer and study their techniques for the next month. And not just going out on Saturday patrols with each other. We need to shadow them, and there are all kinds of questionnaires and reports we have to do. Trust me—you haven’t suffered until you’ve had Brenda Vance trailing around after you.”

You got stuck with Brenda?” Emma shuddered, almost pleased she’d spent the whole day in the medical wing. Almost. She tentatively touched the eye patch.

“You have no idea. And then when I went out with her last night, it took her so long to mark out and scout the perimeter that by the time she deemed it okay for us to approach enemy territory, the demons had gone,” Loni complained. “They could’ve rolled out on their bellies and Brenda would’ve been too busy filling in her paperwork and fiddling with her wards to even notice. I’d been hoping to test out my new laser too.”

“So, did Kessler tell you who I was going to be paired with?” Emma asked, and Loni suddenly became very interested in her piece of toast. That couldn’t be a good sign. “It’s not one of the Lewis twins, right?”

“Okay, so the important thing is that you don’t freak out.” Her friend finally looked up. “This assignment is worth twenty percent of our grade, and—”

“Loni, just tell me who it is and put me out of my misery,” Emma repeated as an uneasy feeling started to snake its way through her stomach.

Loni let out a reluctant sigh. “It’s Curtis Green.”

The breakfast cereal that Emma had been attempting to eat turned to cardboard in her throat while the loud drone of the other students faded away until all she was conscious of was the name that her friend had just said.

“You know, it makes sense when you think about it,” Loni said in a rush, as if aware that she had to be quick before Emma’s brain had a chance to digest the news. “He was off yesterday with an injury and so were you. And don’t forget that you both like granola and are astrologically compatible. Honestly, once you spend time with him, I’m sure you’ll have a great time.”

Emma hardly heard. Instead, she forced herself to count her breaths until the jerky rhythm of her pounding heart finally started to return to normal and a wave of Zen-like calm washed over her.

She shook her head. This was a mistake.

All of it. Her mom dying. Principal Kessler thinking that she should be a fairy slayer, and in the process turning her into the laughingstock of Burtonwood. And now being told she needed to pair up with the guy who’d ruined her life? No, this was definitely all a big mistake. And she was going to fix it. Without a word, Emma got to her feet and scooped up the yellow folder as Loni looked at her in alarm.

“Where are you going? Why aren’t you talking? It makes me nervous when you don’t talk. Emma, say something.”

“I’m going to see Principal Kessler,” Emma said in a remarkably calm voice.

“What?! No, that’s a very bad idea,” Loni yelped as she jumped up and tried to block Emma’s path. “And it’s exactly the reason I was trying to avoid telling you. Just because you’re a hotheaded Aries doesn’t mean you can just go charging in and tell him that he’s made a mistake with the assignments. What about the high road? Remember what a good idea you thought that was?”

“That was before I tried to kill a fairy and got caught in an explosion,” Emma said in a dry voice. “Now I’ve left the high road and moved onto Desperation Avenue. And for the record, I’m not going to tell Kessler that he’s made a mistake.”

“You’re not? Oh, thank goodness. Because for a moment there I thought you had gone completely crazy. Especially after all the trouble you’ve been in over the last five weeks, the last thing you want to do is annoy Kessler.” Loni looked relieved for about a second before she realized that Emma was still standing up looking serious. “You’re still going to see him, aren’t you?”

“I am,” Emma agreed in a tight voice. “But don’t worry. I’m merely going to explain to him that I would rather die a long, slow, and horrible death at the claws of a lathium dragon—having my skin ripped off strip by pain-soaked strip while I writhe in agony—than work with Curtis Green.”

Then without another word she turned and left.