I opened my eyes to the same disgusting kitchen as last time, everything rotting and falling to pieces. I regretted coming here so soon after my last traumatizing nightmare, but I had no choice.
The memories this kitchen induced and what this destruction seemed to mean felt like another knife to the heart. If the trend of my last few trips to the T?uha held true, Ryland would show up and push me out of the space. I held still, hoping to make my time in here last as long as possible and rejuvenate my body as much as I could.
I couldn’t silence that tiny voice in the back of my head that was nagging me to break the connection. I closed my eyes and shook my head roughly, opening my eyes again to a very small, very angry Ryland.
“I told you not to come back,” he spat, his little voice dripping with hatred.
“You know I can’t do that, Ry.” I tried to keep my voice level in an attempt to calm him and hopefully lengthen the T?uha, but I could tell it was a pointless effort.
“I don’t care about you anymore!” he yelled before shoving me abruptly. I let him. I didn’t know how to fight him, and even if I did, the very idea of fighting to stay in such a terrifying place did not interest me.
I opened my eyes to the carved stone roof of my bunk. The light that was reflecting through the chamber seemed brighter than before, but I knew I couldn’t have been gone long considering I hadn’t been in the T?uha for more than a few minutes. I certainly hadn’t been gone long enough to repair me completely. Everything still felt heavy and painful, just not quite as bad as it was before.
I clenched the blankets in my hands, reminding myself that a little strength would go a long way.
“Good morning!” Dramin’s bright sing-song voice echoed around me.
I sat up to face him, happy the worst of my aches had disappeared, but still wishing that all of them could have left. Dramin stood in front of me, two mugs in his hands. He held one out for me, and I took it gladly, grateful for the Black Water that would take away the last of the pains.
“Thank you, Dramin.” I sighed as the water buzzed through me.
“You seem to be doing better today,” he said. “How is your mate?”
Of course he knew. I shouldn’t have been surprised. I attempted to hide my shock at his knowledge, but I wasn’t sure I succeeded.
“He’s fine,” I lied. I probably shouldn’t have, but I didn’t know how to explain all that was going on.
“Hmmm.” Dramin’s comment was obviously to himself, so I chose to ignore him by draining my cup of the Black Water.
It flowed through me and I wiggled my toes. Dramin leaned over to look inside my cup, chuckling to see it already empty.
“You have the appetite of a child,” he said, smiling. “It’s quite refreshing.”
I smiled back at him, handing over my cup. My body was already calling for more.
“Oh no,” Dramin smiled. “Not anymore, your body is healed. You can do this on your own.”
He grabbed my hand and placed it firmly over the top of the mug.
“Think of the water, and how you would like to see it: warm, cold, or maybe iced. Now pulse that thought into the cup.”
I raised an eyebrow at him, looking more confused than I felt. He continued to laugh at me.
“It’s easier than it sounds. It is second nature. Give it a shot.” He smiled and I nodded my head at him before closing my eyes.
I followed his instructions to a T, surprised when my body seemed to respond instinctively. I felt warmth fill my hand for a moment before opening my eyes to look at the cup, the steaming liquid filling it right to the rim.
“Good job! Now, if you will go into your T?uha every day, you will continue to have the energy to sustain yourself.” Dramin took a drink right after he spoke, his eyes digging into me from over his mug. I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. I lowered my mug.
“How did you know?” I asked softly before taking another sip.
“The question is not how I knew, child, for that should be obvious. But, why are you avoiding your mate?”
I couldn’t look at Dramin so I chose to look at the thick contents that swirled slightly inside my cup instead. I guess if I had to confide in someone while Ilyan was indisposed, I should. Besides, I had started opening up to Thom. I suppose I needed to be more trusting.
“Well, for one, Ryland keeps pushing me out. Two, I am pretty sure Cail is controlling them.” I sounded so dejected, I tried not to cringe at the sound of it.
“You mean he is controlling the T?uha as well as your dreams?” I couldn’t miss his surprise. I had been beginning to think there was nothing that would surprise Dramin.
“Yes.” I was suddenly feeling very cramped in the tight bunk. I slipped off my bed and walked right past him, my mug still clasped between my hands.
I moved to the large chairs that surrounded the fire, trying to avoid looking at Thom who was busy healing Ilyan.