I want to scream ME! but it won’t make a dent. “You can just forget your mom and Jen? They need you.”
There’s no masking the sadness in his eyes at the mention of his family. “They’re better off with me here. I can still take care of them . . . be a liaison for the guards at the gates, protect the human realm from the inside.”
“So your plan is to stay and siphon magic off of Red forever?”
A muscle in his jaw spasms. “At least that way I get a forever.” He holds out his hand, unspoken insistence we head to the lighthouse.
A sense of enormity overwhelms me: Dad was spot-on. I’m the only one who can convince Jeb to leave this place. I have to show him that life is worth living outside this horrible realm, even if it comes with mortal limitations.
I lace my fingers through his and tug him down so we’re face-to-face. The gritty terrain jabs my naked knees.
He digs a fist into the sand. “What are you doing?”
“Reminding you that I’m still human enough to need you.” I rake my hands across his biceps and down his pecs. Water and sand crumble to shimmery, granular trails along his chest hair in my wake. As I touch him, his breath catches and his long, dark eyelashes close in exquisite agony.
I splay my fingertips and open my palm to match his cigarette burns to my scars. His muscles answer with tiny twitches, every part of him strong where I’m soft.
“Jeb.”
He opens his eyes and we lock gazes.
“This is why we fit. Because we’re both damaged, in a way that can’t be healed. Even by magic.”
His gaze holds steady.
“I love you,” I whisper. “Do you still love me?”
He leans closer, bracing his knuckles on the ground beside my hips. “I’ll never stop.”
My stomach somersaults. “Then come home.”
“What good will it do?” His mouth is inches away and the question scalds my lips. “Things can never go back to the way they were.”
My chin tightens. “You’re right. Because we’ve both grown and changed. Because we understand each other on every level now. I’ve seen all your secrets. You’ve seen mine. We can live for today. Not think about forever.”
He lifts a sand-covered hand and traces the red streak of my hair. “You’re being naive. Morpheus won’t let us. He’ll dangle your magical eternity in front of me, knowing it’s something I can never give you. Knowing, as a human, I have nothing to offer that compares to that.”
He starts to draw back, but I grasp the waistband of his boxers where it hugs his abs. I hear the husky intake of air as he looks down at my hand, then back up at my face.
“You’re wrong. There’s something you already offered that’s every bit as magical and rare as forever. You offered to grow old with me. That’s something Morpheus can’t do.” I stroke my fingertips over his whisker-rough jaw. “I didn’t get to answer that yes, I want to marry you.”
For an instant, Jeb’s eyes sparkle with a hopeful light.
“Do you still want that?” I ask.
His fingers weave through my hair, so tight they pinch my scalp. “There’s no one I’d rather spend my life with. Make a family with. But you made a vow to Morpheus. Twenty-four hours alone together. He’ll do anything to keep you from coming back to the human realm.” He presses our foreheads together. “I would fight for you, Al. Until the day I die. I just don’t know how to fight magic without magic. Not anymore.”
So I’m the reason Jeb doesn’t want to leave or give up his power. It’s been me all along.
His agonized expression scores my insides raw. Morpheus’s promise on the day I made that vow dances along the edge of my psyche: I’ll show you the wonders of Wonderland, and when you’re drunk on the beauty and chaos that your heart so yearns to know, I will take you under my wings and make you forget the human realm ever existed. You’ll never want to leave Wonderland or me again.
It’s not that Jeb doesn’t have faith in me. It’s that he’s seen the writing on the wall. Morpheus always finds a way to win. He’s the most manipulative and brilliant strategist I’ve ever known.
But he’s met his match. Or, rather, he’s created her.
“You don’t have to fight for us.” I trace Jeb’s tattooed wrist. “I can fix it so Morpheus will leave us alone.”
Jeb frowns. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No.” My voice is resolute and strong, almost as strong as Morpheus’s when he told me the secret to getting the upper hand: Once you know someone’s weakness, they’re easy to manipulate.
Jeb touches my face, as if shaken by the seriousness of my tone.