No. I can’t let him believe that. The only arsenal I have is the truth. My vow to Ivory stated I wouldn’t tell anyone about the vision of my and Morpheus’s child. But the prospect of my immortality is fair game.
“I can have two futures. One with you in the mortal realm. Then, later, as a netherling queen. What you heard on prom night was me asking Morpheus to give me and you space. To wait for my human life to end.”
Jeb pauses rowing. Water sloshes around the hull, towing the boat out further. The lighthouse flashes across him and his labret sparkles as he watches me. “How is that even possible?”
I attempt to explain it, that I’ll age in the mortal realm, but won’t die. That when I’m old and frail, I can fake my death and go to Wonderland. That once my crown is placed on my head, I’ll return to the age I was when I first became queen.
What I don’t say is how much it hurts to consider outliving the people I love, to leave my human family behind. I can’t say it, because Jeb’s pain concerns me more.
“So, after everyone dies, you’ll go to Wonderland and be perpetually sixteen?” The bitter bite in his voice punctures like thorns. “I’ll be gone. And you’ll spend forever with him. What am I supposed to do with that, Al?”
I fist my hands, worried he might split the boat again and fall into the water. “I don’t know.”
“Well, I do. I’ll go to the castle, get your dad his cure, and send you and Morpheus off on your merry way. So you can skip the whole aging-in-thereal-world thing and be eternally young now. I mean, who wouldn’t want that, right?”
“Jeb, no!” My vocal cords strain and it registers how far he’s drifted from the shore. We’ve been shouting at each other without my realizing it.
In fact, he’s been moving farther out without even rowing.
A red glimmer undulates through the water, lighting the depths with pulses, as if there were a living heart underneath. On each vibration, Jeb’s boat rides a wave closer to the opposing shore and the exit. He’s controlling the ocean, just like he does everything here.
“The sands will release you when I’m gone, and you can stay with your dad,” he calls over the distance. “By tomorrow morning, you’ll be on your way to Wonderland with Morpheus.”
Frustrated tears singe my lower lashes. Here we are again, in a mystical hostile world, battling each other instead of the dangers lying in wait. “You have no idea what they can do to you!”
I simultaneously tug on my legs and flap my wings until my ligaments feel like they’ll snap. The harder I fight, the hotter the diary gets. Determined to stop him, I recall step-by-step how I used the tiny book as a catapult for my powers in Morpheus’s room.
When the crimson glow seeps into my veins, I redirect the flow, hurling it at the ocean. It works, rolling a wave that reverses the rowboat back my way. The lighthouse blinks, illuminating Jeb as he stands up in the hull. Balanced gracefully like a surfer, he chucks the oars down. Despite the span between us, I swear I can see him sneer.
It stokes my darker side. She relishes the challenge.
“Want to play, do you?” I whisper.
His hair whips around his head. He raises his tattooed wrist—glowing purple like a beacon—and coerces another wave, higher than mine. The water heaves him toward the opposite shore. In turn, I do the same, dragging him back to me. Our aquatic tug-of-war escalates, our drunken determination dancing on some sentient level, until the ocean sputters and snarls.
Gusts whip through our hair and clothes. A splash melts my leggings to mid-thigh and leaves my skirt’s hem a jagged fray. A stray upsurge splatters across Jeb’s shirt, rendering him half-naked.
A spark rides the air between us—not visible, but visceral, like all those times we played chess while fighting our feelings for each other. That’s what collides and teases the ocean to a raging, frothy roar—even more than our magic.
I notice the giant red bubble in the depths too late to stop it, an accumulation of our power that bulges until it erupts into a tidal wave. Jeb slams into the water. His head bobs for an instant in the lighthouse’s glare before the boat capsizes and pounds him, then he disappears in the swell.
I’ve killed him.
“Jeb!” I scream. The wall of water shifts my direction, blocking the starlit ceiling. The ground shakes and hauls me down until the sand swallows my knees, embedding me even deeper.
I bend at the waist, digging until my fingertips sting and bleed. It’s futile. The wave curls and arcs—two stories above me. I wrap my wings around myself, my arms over my head, and brace for impact.
The water crashes down—sweeping me under and knocking the air in my lungs loose. A silent scream erupts from my mouth in bubbles. My wings snap open and flail, scraping my body. I fight the urge to breathe as my spine contorts and twists.