THE PRESTIGE
“I’m truly ashamed, and for that
I am sorry I made myself believe
I could be more than I was meant to be.”
Melody Manful
I wasn’t afraid of what Abigail would think of me if I told her who—and what—I was.
“I didn’t save you, Abigail,” I started. “I tried to kill you.” She let go of me and took a cautious step back. I could hear her heart beat. It was so loud that I was sure she was about to collapse.
“You…you tried to kill me?” She was in shock, but her eyes said she wasn’t about to run away, at least not until she got some answers.
“Abby, I didn’t want—”
“Why?” She cut me off, putting on a brave expression even though her voice shook.
I looked away from her, afraid to hold her gaze for too long. “Because it’s what I do.” I hoped she would take that simple answer and let me go, but I knew her too well, and I knew she wouldn’t.
“What you do?” The initial shock was gone, but she still looked uncertain and surprised. “Why?”
I was surprised that she was still looking at me and asking questions. “I already told you. It’s what I do.” I didn’t understand how she wasn’t scared of me.
“But why!”
I didn’t know how to explain myself to her. Tristan, who stood behind Abigail, wore a stupid, unreadable expression on his face.
Abigail stood waiting for an answer. I took two steps back before raising my body into the air.
Abigail’s eyes opened wide, and she gasped. “You—you can fly? How?” she asked with a tone of wonder.
I gave her an apologetic look before transforming into the real me. My black hair rippled. I knew that Abigail couldn’t miss my angry face and golden eyes. Behind me, my huge, dark wings stretched wildly, and to make sure that Abigail would run away from me in fear, I composed a harsh face.
Abigail took a step back. “You’re an angel?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. Her face was filled with fear and shock, but unfortunately for me, she wasn’t running away. “But angels…angels don’t exist.”
I didn’t understand why she wasn’t scared. What was wrong with her?
“You are an angel?” She was still shaking. “But your wings are…” I waited for her to say dark, but she didn’t.
Behind her, Tristan stood with his eyes fixed on me as well, as if he hadn’t seen me before. He didn’t speak, didn’t even bother to tell me I wasn’t allowed to reveal our existence to a human, but then again, Abigail couldn’t be a human. If she were, she would have been on the first flight to Mexico in order to escape me, or on her way to some mental institute to recover from shock.
“Abby, I…” I flew down, and instantly, I was back to my disguise. She took a fearful step back.
I took a step back myself, to let her know I wasn’t there to hurt her. I felt vulnerable and sad because for a split second, I saw how scared Abigail was of me. I watched as pain clouded her face, but instead of turning away, she inched a little closer to me.
“Why save me if you wanted to kill me?” she asked in a hush voice.
I was shocked at her sudden change. She composed herself, but I didn’t know how to answer her question.
“Why?” she demanded, her voice harder.
“I don’t know,” I lied, avoiding her eyes. I didn’t want to look at her because somehow a part of me wanted to stay with her. So I kept my face down to save both of us the pain. But I could feel Abigail staring at me.
“I don’t believe this.”
I looked at her.
“Angel?” she asked as she allowed her tears to fall again, shaking her head in shock. The tears tumbled down. “What are you—who—but…” She struggled to make sense of and sort through her questions.
I couldn’t take the tears in her eyes, or Tristan’s sad face, so I decided to force her to run. I took a step closer to her. “You know, some creatures don’t care about this world of yours.” I threw in one of my evil smiles.
I was sure she would bolt at any second, so I moved a little closer to her. I didn’t even know why I bothered, when I knew I would probably be the one to push her down.
“They would rather watch the weak suffer and feed on them until their last glimmer of life dies, leaving nothing but death behind.” I continued my little speech as if I couldn’t feel her pain. “Some would rather meet you in Hell than welcome you in Heaven. And some would rather see the Earth crash and burn, and right now, I can tell you that there is only one of those creatures left, and you are looking at him.”
Abigail trembled, and it was then that her fear finally emerged. She backed away. Tristan stared at us and made no attempt to step in and save her.
“What are you?”
I couldn’t explain how she looked when she asked this. But finally I got what I wanted, for the only person in the whole bloody universe who meant more to me than the idea of living to be scared of me.
I pushed my sad thoughts aside and smiled cruelly before answering her question. “I am your guardian angel.” Abigail’s eyes grew wide. “Well, almost your guardian angel. Tristan is the real guardian, I—”
“Tristan?” she interrupted in surprise. She looked up as if to see Tristan hovering above us like I had been doing moments before. “Is Tristan an angel, too?”
“Yes, he’s your guardian angel. His job is to guide you from harm, and mine is to put you into harm’s way,” I answered without thinking.
“Kill me.” Abigail’s shock and pain sent me crashing through four gravestones behind me. She screamed my name and rushed over as I hurtled onto my back. Tristan appeared beside her. This time he wore the Tristan look—the one that was supposed to bring hope to everyone.
Why did Abigail want me to kill her?
“Gideon!” Abigail cried out when she reached me. She tried to help me up. “Are you all right?”
Was I all right? She was asking me if I was all right when I just told her I wanted to kill her?
“Don’t touch me!” I shouted at both her and Tristan, who was invisible beside her.
“Are you okay?” she asked again as if she didn’t hear me, or maybe she just didn’t care about the danger lurking in my eyes.
“He will be fine,” Tristan murmured in an angelic voice. Abigail whipped her head around, searching for the source of the voice.
“Tristan,” she called. “Is that you?”
Tristan became visible for a few seconds, making sure Abigail saw him before turning himself invisible again. Abigail looked back at me, confused.
“Gideon?” Abigail kneeled beside me. She reached out to touch me, but I was already in the sky before she could get close.
“Don’t ever tempt me again, Abby. I’m not that strong.” With that said, I flew back down. My body was burning in pain as every drop of blood beneath my skin boiled.
“Why not?” She wasn’t scared; she was angry. “It’s your job to kill me, so kill me already!” Now she was provoking me.
“Abby, don’t.” Tristan appeared beside her, taking her hands in his. She pulled herself away.
“I don’t deserve to live!” she shouted, looking at her father’s grave. “I killed him. I don’t deserve to live, so please kill me,” she begged.
“You didn’t kill him, Abby.” Moment of truth. “I killed him.” I watched as her anger turned to confusion, then pain. “I was the one who pushed you from your balcony, the one who caused the accident on your way to the concert, and the one who distracted you and took your father away from you.”
I watched as her face contorted in anguish. I told myself it was better that she hated me than to know I tried to save her father and failed. “Abby, I didn’t…” I tried reaching out for her, but she pulled away.
“Don’t touch me!”
“I’m not here to—”
“Leave,” she whispered under her breath, looking at both Tristan and me. Neither of us made an attempt to leave. I didn’t want to leave her there alone in case she collapsed or had a heart attack. “LEAVE!” This time she shouted with her eyes fixed on me. “Leave me alone, and please don’t come back.” Then turning around, she kneeled in front of her father’s grave and let her tears fall as she grieved.
Tristan kneeled beside her with his hands on her shoulders, comforting her.
I didn’t want to leave, but I did want what was best for Abigail, and since the humans always said, “If you love something, you have to let it go and hope that it comes back to you,” I spread my wings and took to the sky.
The world tumbled away as I listened to her screams, and then a second later, loud thunder roared and shook the ground beneath. The heavens were weeping down on Earth. I couldn’t bear the pain any longer, so I tore my eyes from her and took off at full speed into the rain.
I flew all the way to a nearby tower and kneeled on top of it, burying my head in my hands as my wings stretched out behind me.
My hands were burning with fire, but the rain couldn’t quench it. I was furious at myself for hurting Abigail. Bolts of lightning lit the town and thunder resounded in the mountains. I roared along with it.
I wanted to fly back to Earth as soon as I reached Grands. I wanted to race back to Abigail, apologize, and comfort her. But most of all I wanted to cry, even though I didn’t know how angels cried. But soon I realized that there was no difference between my teardrops and the rain.