chapter TWENTY-FIVE
I sat at the kitchen table massaging my temples, a cup of coffee cooling in front of me, when Kevin burst through the door the next morning. My inner conflict and guilt was growing stronger every day. Why oh why did I have to fall in love with Vittorio?
“What’s wrong?” Kevin asked when I didn’t look up.
“Vittorio’s coven is about to have a major power struggle, with yours truly in the center of it all.” I took a sip of coffee, making a face when I found it was cold.
I went round and round with Kevin again about getting out and being careful. Eventually he gave up, knowing that when I had my mind set, nothing could change it.
“What did you think of Vittorio?” I changed the subject.
“Hard to say. I was too shocked by your little display of whatever the hell that was. I guess he seems alright.” Kevin shrugged his shoulders.
“At least you didn’t immediately hate him.” I dumped my coffee in the sink and poured a fresh cup.
“What is it about him that you like so much?” Kevin asked for what seemed like the thousandth time.
I tried once again to explain what I still didn’t quite understand myself. “He’s not like any other man I’ve ever met. He seems honorable, which is rare in this day and age. He respects me. And he seems to truly love me.”
“And he’s hot. But don’t you dare ever tell anyone I said that.”
“You know I’ve never been fazed by a pretty face.”
Kevin raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, he’s hot, but that has nothing to do with why I like him. I feel like I can trust him.”
“And yet you’re lying to him about your job.”
I glared at Kevin. “I’m not lying.”
“You’re not being completely honest, either. If he’s such a great guy, if you really do love him, you should come clean before things go too far.”
“I know, but I don’t know how.” I sat back down at my kitchen table, too weak to stand. Continuing to hid the truth about my job to Vittorio made my stomach knot.
“Just tell him,” Kevin said, as if it were so simple.
“But what if he hates me for it?”
“Then you deserve it.”
Kevin may as well have punched me in the stomach, but I knew he was right. He was always blunt, one of the things I loved and hated about him. “But I was trying to do my job.”
“Your job wasn’t falling in love. Look, Elena, you know I’m here for you, but I hate seeing you like this. And Vittorio seems to make you happy. If he is as good as you say he is, I don’t want you to lose that. You really should be honest with him.”
When Kevin left, I decided it was time to suck it up and call Vittorio. Of course I wasn’t going to leave him. I didn’t want to fight over this, but it was time to be honest, and I thought that would almost certainly lead to an argument. That’s if I had luck on my side. If I didn’t, well, I couldn’t stand the thought of that.
Maybe I could put it off a little longer. If he did hate me for it, he might not help me find another teacher, and as much as I hated having this power, it was necessary to learn how to control it. I had no idea how to go about finding a teacher on my own. It’s not as though I could find someone with power to help me in the yellow pages.
No, that was selfish. I would tell him. Kevin was right; I deserved whatever I got.
“Vittorio, can I come over and talk to you? I’d like to discuss something with you in person rather than on the phone.”
“You are always welcome.” I noted the careful lack of ‘mio amore,’ as if he were certain I was going to leave him and was already trying to put a wall around his heart.
“I’ll be over soon. Bye, Vittorio.”
“Goodbye, Elena.” The word seemed to hold more meaning than simply ending a phone call.
When Vittorio opened the door, I wrapped my arms around him and held on for dear life.
After a few moments he pulled away. “Elena, are you alright?”
“I’m not leaving you, Vittorio. I don’t want to.”
“Are you certain?” His eyes widened in disbelief.
“You sound like you want me to leave.” Surely he wasn’t going to push me away?
“I can hardly bear the thought of losing you, but I want you to be safe.”
“Safe is nice, but I’d rather be with you.”
He pulled me close again and relief washed through his body and into mine. His power was tinged with apprehension.
“We’ll be fine as long as we have each other,” I said.
“You are absolutely sure you want to put yourself in the middle of all this?” He pulled back and held me at arm’s length.
Since I couldn’t wrap my arms around him, I rested my hands on his forearms. “I told you I’m not leaving you. I love you. And if you don’t stop trying to push me away, you’re going to make me think you don’t love me in return, so why don’t you shut up and kiss me?”
He did just that.
Again, I found myself trying to pull him to the bedroom, and again, he stopped me. I groaned in frustration. “Are you trying to make me lose my sanity with wanting you?”
“Elena, we have discussed this.”
“I know, but you make it so hard.” I pouted.
“I make it hard?” He raised an eyebrow at me, and I playfully slapped his arm.
“You know what I mean. Alright, I guess we better get down to business if we can’t have any fun. What’s the next step in my training?”
Vittorio led me down the hallway into his study as he spoke. “There are now two things I need to teach you, and the sooner you learn, the better. You need to continue working on controlling your power, and more specifically, not draining yourself of energy when you use it. Then, we will work on what you can do with that power.
“I also need to start teaching you the ways of witchcraft, its history, the way the coven works and how its members fit together, the rituals, holidays - “
“Slow down. That’s a lot of information.” My head spun from the prospect of so much information.
“It will be much to take in. First I must ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me.” He pulled two chairs to face each other.
I sat. “Alright.”
“Do you want to join the coven?”
Silence filled the space between us as if it were something tangible. “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know anything about it, so it’s kind of hard to make a good decision. Can I learn about it before answering?”
“Of course, but if you fight by my side during this power struggle, depending on the outcome, you may not have a choice.”
“What do you mean?”
“I should rephrase that. You always have a choice, but if the outcome is in our favor, it is possible you will have earned a powerful position in the coven.”
“What position?” Why wouldn’t he tell me? What was so bad to require this hinting around?
“It all depends on the outcome. I will explain more as we get into details. Keep in mind you may have that choice to make.”
“I guess you better start teaching me, then.”
For several hours we worked on conserving energy when I used my power. “Imagine that you are dividing your power within you. Only send out a small part of it. If you do this, you may still be a little tired afterwards, but will have plenty of energy left to remain in control of your power. There will be times when you must use everything you have, but those are rare occasions. The majority of the time, using only a small fraction will suffice.”
It took several tries for me to begin to get the hang of this technique. By the time I started to figure it out, I was pretty drained.
Vittorio called an end to training for the day.
“Can I stay here tonight? I want to fall asleep next to you again.”
“Mio amore, you do not even have to ask. I told you, you are always welcome here.”