My chuckle was death. “I’m apparently no one’s type.” And fuck, wasn’t that the damn truth. I turned my attention back out to the window, thoughts in turmoil, but I tried to stay focused. “Lissa, can you follow my rules?”
I heard her jump from the bench, and I swiftly glanced to her, holding a hand out, tossing her with a pulse wave back onto the bench, holding her there when she had appeared to be coming at me with a fucking…hug. “Lissa, I don’t believe you understand the control I am keeping right now.” I held her steady with my pulse wave, her expression startled, and I spoke extremely slowly, letting her see what I truly felt for her in my gaze. “I want to kill you. I want to take every single perfect hair on your head, and make a noose of it, and hang you outside by your elegant neck from that tree,” I pointed to the perfect palm tree right outside I had been trying to ignore, “and then, take my silver knife while you’re struggling for breath and slice you right as you die so the scars are permanent even in death.” I blinked. “I don’t love him, but this bond I have for my One, is very,” I inhaled slowly, “intoxicating, and only my control is keeping me from mutilating your very pretty body in the most spectacular of ways.” Another slow blink as I slowly released my magic against her, lowering my arm, her face decently frightened now. “We will never be friends. I will always hate you. It just is as it is.”
I crossed my arms deliberately to keep from strangling her. “Now…do you understand my rules for you and Leric to be together?”
She nodded slowly, eyes wide. “Yes.”
“Excellent.” I itched my cheek, pointing an absent finger at her. “You should also know, should you ever hurt him,” I shrugged a shoulder, “you won’t even see me coming.” I moved around Cain, striding from the room. “So don’t even bother to run. Just say a small prayer, because you’ll be dead soon after.”
She murmured softly behind me, “Thank you.”
“Yeah, fuck off,” I muttered under my breath, hurrying from the room, my Lajaks quickly, and damn silently, moving into place behind me with varying expressions on their faces I was in no frame of mind to try to contemplate. But…I came to a halt just outside of the room, they, also, halting behind me…because Leric was leaning a shoulder against the wall, arms crossed; gaze down on the tile, his expression utterly blank. Inhaling shallowly, I waited until his silver eyes…guarded eyes…met mine ever so slowly, and I asked quietly, “Were you ever really trying with me, or were you pushing me away?”
His lips thinned the barest bit, but his voice was deep, even when he spoke. “A little of both.”
I nodded once, because that was what I had thought, and ran a trembling hand over my face. “In the future, Leric, I don’t want to have to pry into your damn mind to know the truth. If you want this relationship to work between us, I suggest you show me who the hell you really are and stop with the spirit bullshit intrigue. We are bound forever, fighting the most horrific of battles, and I would much rather prefer doing it with someone I trust.”
His lips thinned further. A slight nod of his head. “Understood.” He stared for a long moment, and his head dipped. “Thank you for not killing her.”
I snorted. “You would have tried to stop me.” That was why he was here after all. “Again, stop with the spirit bullshit. I don’t need your fucking platitudes and sweet words for doing what was right. I need the real goddamn man I’m unfortunately bound with to make a damn appearance and start fresh, so we can do our damn jobs.” My feet were moving, taking me past where my mind needed to detox from. “And, Leric,” I hissed as I passed him, “a magic bond doesn’t make someone whole. The love, respect, and trust two people have for each other does.” A thought as I quickly moved away, and I barked over my shoulder, “And follow my goddamn rules.”
Walking at a fast clip, I swiftly stuffed the daggers back into my treasure trove that had materialized when I heard Lissa squeal happily behind me and Leric hurriedly hushing her, he, at least, understanding the battle warring within me. Walking up the white stairs, needing to move, not using the elevators, I slammed into my Lajaks room, grabbing the first bottle of vodka I found, and demanded brusquely over my shoulder, “Everyone leaves me the fuck alone tonight.” And with that, I jammed the balcony door closed behind me I had escaped outside to, sat heavily on a white chair, holding my head with a shaking hand, took a large swallow of the liquor and stared out at the sun as it finished setting…and tried to pull my thoughts together on so many different subjects…and finished the damn bottle off while doing so…and then, another, barely noticing when Sin slipped outside in the darkness, scooping my drunken, half sleeping form from the chair and carried me to bed.
Sitting at breakfast the next morning was…awkward.
The view was picturesque, which I stared at avidly, enjoying the lush tranquility of the ocean and the white square homes on the hills, this side of the coastline very reminiscent of Greece. But nothing helped the pure tension in the air, the silent knowledge Leric wanted someone else, even though we were bound with the mystical ties every Mystical cherished, and I had given it to him. And honestly, I didn’t really have anything to say to him, not feeling much this morning other than a bit of quiet relief and a sense of lingering possessiveness I knew I would always feel, the emotion not going hostile because I didn’t let my thoughts wonder to Lissa, but I, really, I had nothing to say because I didn’t know him…the real Leric.
On the plus side, I had no hangover—thank God—but the table was utterly silent, which I didn’t interrupt with any aimless blather, just continued to eat my succulent breakfast, as he, my Lajaks, and Roselle and Reese did. I was sure they knew, all with a heavy silence weighing on our table, the forced nature of our existence here at the Temple never more palatable than before.
Leric scooted on his seat. Ate part of a biscuit. Shuffled a bit more. Took a drink. Cleared his throat. Tilted his head to me, and asked courteously, “What would you like to do today?”
I blinked. “I’m sure your day’s full.” On what, I wasn’t going to linger on. Meals and meetings and events, we had to make an appearance together, but the rest of our time was ours to do as we wished. “We have lunch, that meeting at two o’clock on the Guardian’s work in Cullo and Jeria, and dinner we need to attend, but outside of that, I don’t need to know your schedule any more than you need to know mine.” Tomorrow, we were heading to another city.
“Caro,” his lips thinned, “I…don’t know what to say to make this right.” He shook his head slightly, brows pinched. “This wasn’t exactly how I pictured being with…you.”
My lips curved a bit, and it was as cool as I felt inside. “You love another, Leric. I’ve given you the opportunity to be with her. Let the reins go, for lack of a better description.” I shrugged a shoulder. “I imagine this isn’t what anyone would expect for two people who were bound magically, but it is. I’m not hurt by it.” Hell, I was in an exclusive, sexual relationship myself—albeit a screwed up one, but still…it was there. “And you’re happy with her.” I rolled a finger. “We just need to move on, and as I stated, start fresh without preconceived notions of how any of us thought we would end up in the future.”
Silver intelligent eyes watched me for long moments, and I saw when it occurred to him…the truth…outside of his own selfish thoughts, and instantly, his entire body went still, his eyes flaring brightly, and he hissed, “You’re with someone else.” The glass he was holding shattered in his hand, glass tinkling to the table, attracting other’s attention except for the man’s who was actually bleeding from it. “That’s why you’re so fine with this.”
I held the thick, expensive napkin out, staring at him sharply, stating in my mind, “Take a walk and calm down.”