In fact, I don’t want to be here at all.
I turn to go, to slink back into the night where I belong, but something clamps around my wrist. I nearly leap out of my skin but manage to keep my reflexes in check. When I glance down, I see Jordan’s hand. She’s holding on to me for dear life.
“Thanks for walking me up here,” she whispers. The breeze catches her short bangs and her face scrunches up. She’s got the scowl of a razorbill.
The sooner you let go, the sooner I can leave.
I’m about half a second away from wrenching my arm free when a flashlight beam cuts across my face, blinding me. I throw my other arm up. I can’t see who’s approaching, but then I hear the jeering laughter and it’s so obvious.
Lex.
Something dark scrabbles through my chest. I want to grab him, shake him, but I don’t trust my instincts, so I just watch as he takes a long slug of something from a paper bag and lurches straight for Jordan. He pulls her from me, out into the moonlit clearing, but I don’t feel any sense of relief, because now he’s got his hands all over her waist, her ass, and he’s sticking his tongue down her throat.
My ears roar. A rush of blood. I feel woozy. Is this how it begins? I want to listen to my body, but my mind won’t shut up. Does she like it? I don’t know, but I don’t think so, not by the way she writhes free and shoves Lex in the chest so hard that his flashlight falls to the ground. But then she’s laughing and he’s laughing, too, only her hands shake like autumn leaves and she’s not making eye contact with him. Or me.
Lex continues to drink from his stupid paper bag. “Our junior transfer,” he slurs. “I’m so glad you made it. Best thing in life, new girls. God bless ’em. But tell me your name again. It’s … it’s…”
“Jordan,” she says firmly. “Herrera.”
“Jordan. Lovely Jordan.” Lex swivels in my direction, legs unsteady. I haven’t moved. I’m still hidden in shadows. “And who’s this? Don’t tell me you’ve brought a date.”
“Don’t tell me it’s any of your business,” Jordan says, and Lex’s laugh is like a foghorn. He leans down to nuzzle her again, but Jordan does this deft ducking maneuver and his ass nearly ends up on the ground.
The laugh grows louder. “Never mind, love. Cute as you are in your androgynous sort of way, you certainly aren’t any fun. I almost feel sorry for your guy.”
Jordan’s hands go to her hips. “That’s fine. Win and I are just friends anyway.”
We are?
“Hold up. Did you say Win?” All of a sudden Lex is bent over, scrambling to retrieve his flashlight. He grabs it. He shines it directly in my eyes.
“Oh, shit,” he breathes. “It is you. What’re you doing here?”
I glower.
Lex pushes hair off his forehead. “You and I, we need to talk.”
“Leave him alone,” Jordan snaps. She’s caught sight of the expression on my face.
“Win,” Lex says, pleading. “I’m serious.”
“I’m serious about leaving him alone.” Jordan positions herself right beneath Lex’s nose, so he’s forced to look at her. “You’re crazy if you think Win wants to talk to you.”
Lex laughs again, only it’s a different sound this time, almost sad, almost pained. “No, he’s the crazy one, love. Like a danger to himself and others. Haven’t you figured that out yet? This guy needs some serious—”
I lunge for him. I don’t realize I’m doing it until Jordan steps between us. She grabs on to me, drags me back by the elbow.
“Knock it off,” she growls.
“How’s your tennis game, Win?” Lex calls out, but Jordan flips him off as she marches away, still pulling me with her.
We end up in front of the bar area, which consists of a cooler full of cheap beer and a sticky card table scattered with half-empty bottles of the worst kind of liquor. Sour Apple Pucker. Southern Comfort. That rum that smells like coconuts.
Jordan digs around for two bottles of Coors and offers one to me. My decision’s a no-brainer. If I drink, I’ll just have to puke it up later since alcohol absolutely does not fall within my daily allotted calories and there’s no way I’m fucking up my shot at the state title this year. Despite my God-given talent for endurance, long-distance running hasn’t been my primary sport before now, and I need something good in my life. Something I’ve earned. I shake my head at Jordan. Her lips purse, but she puts the bottle back and twists open her own.
She’s embarrassed for me. We both are. I can tell.
“So, team captain,” she says after a moment, “got any words of inspiration for me tonight?”
Startled, I look right at her. The roaring in my ears quiets. Her chin’s held up, still tough, and her lips are pulled back in a wry smile. Jordan’s teasing, but she’s also offering something. What, I don’t know, but it brings out my own smile, tentative, but far less awkward than usual.
“Absolutely none,” I say.