Cause of Death: Unnatural

It took three hours to get through the wine, the ice cream, Titanic and an angry tear fest. The better part of a box of tissues was strewn across the floor too. Jennifer was at the sniffing stage, and had moved so far through her little disaster that she could now think about things other than heartache and revenge.

“What about you Em?” Jennifer sniffed, and she slugged back the dregs of her wine. “What about the boys in your life? What about that gorgeous Nick?”

Em hugged her knees and shrugged deeper back into the sofa. Nick. What was she going to do about Nick? Jennifer was right, he was gorgeous, and he was fun too. In nearly a thousand years Em had never had so much … fun … with a lover. Sure, there had been lovers with greater skills, stronger bodies, darker desires, deeper passions, but Nick was … fun.

Em had a theory about this but it was a loose thought, one that had been flitting hopefully around her head waiting for Em to take it seriously. It was a tempting theory, and she was a little scared that if she gave it any considered thought, it might reveal itself to be something quite possible indeed. And she wasn't ready for that.

Nick was a good guy. Maybe the ultimate find. He was fit, he had arms that wrapped around her and crushed her to his chest, he had an ass she couldn't keep her hands off, and he had a laugh that made her grin like an idiot. He had a beat-up old car with a picnic blanket in the trunk, and laying in the sun in the park with Em with the weekend papers and some bacon and egg bagels was his ideal way to spend a Sunday morning.

Em thought it was his large family - the brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews, as well as the older generation, and the care and love they all obviously had for each other - that had created in Nick a form of love that seemed deeper and stronger than any she had experienced before. When she watched him with his sister's kids she saw a man she realized she could love. Really love. She had to admit she hadn't done love before. Lust, sure, but nothing like the confident, selfless love she saw in Nick. It was so very tempting.

But it could only ever be a daydream, Em knew. What would Nick think of her if he knew what kind of monster she really was. Nick set up home with a soul eating, blood drinking dark creature over nine hundred years his senior? That kind of shit only happened in movies, and crummy teen novels.

Em shivered and put aside thoughts of Nick tangled in the sheets of her bed and decided to answer Jennifer's question another way.

“I was going out with Robert tonight, but things got messy at work,” she said.

Jennifer had the grace to look slightly guilty. “Have I ruined your date?” she cried. “Oh Em, I'd be really sorry, except... I don't think you should dating that guy. He's your boss!” The irony of Jennifer's moral outrage was completely lost on her. “And he is a bit of a nerd, isn't he? I don't know what you see in him.”

“Class, Jenn,” Em said. “Elegance. Intelligence.” Em tried not to sound too smug. Jennifer had an uncanny ability to attract men with an astonishingly low number of brain cells. Plenty of brawn, but no brain. It wasn't her fault, entirely, but Em knew she shouldn't rub it in. “And he's not a nerd! He's sophisticated.” She tried to sound playfully wounded in case Jennifer had caught the note of smugness in her voice.

Jennifer smirked and waved the bottle of red over Em's glass. Em nodded, and Jennifer muttered “geek” under her breath as she poured. They both laughed.

“And don't worry about tonight,” Em said. “It really did get busy at work. Robert had an invitation to that new burlesque club on the south side. We can go later, I guess, once we're a bit more clear at work.”

Jennifer's ears pricked up. “What's this new club?” she asked. “I can't believe there's a new burlesque club and I haven't heard about it!”

“Well, I don't know, actually,” Em admitted slowly. “It's in one of the old warehouse buildings down that way, but I haven't heard anything about it.” And that was odd, now she thought about it. She thought she'd had her ear to the ground, but this had slipped right past her.

“Weird,” Jennifer agreed. “How'd Robert find out about it?”

“He said he'd got a flyer in his letterbox.” Which was weird too, now she thought about it. “His home letterbox, not his work mail,” she frowned. “I've just realized how strange that is. I'd assumed it had been a work thing because there was a handwritten note on the back asking him to call for a meet and greet. I thought it was the club management trying to get in good with the police...”

Jennifer shrugged. “You guys are crime scene, not police, aren't you? And how did they know where he lived? That's kinda spooky, don't you think?”

Em found she had to agree. Why hadn't she realized any of this before?

“But he did call,” she said, “and they gave him a free admission plus one to tonight, which was supposed to be the opening, and to a behind the scenes tour, or somesuch.”

“Behind the scenes at a burlesque club?” giggled Jennifer. “As if you won't be getting enough tits and ass from the seats out the front! What do they think you are?” She snorted suddenly with a huge burst of laughter. “What do they think Robert is? I wouldn't have thought burlesque was his thing.”

“Oh, leave him alone!” Em laughed. “He's not that much of nerd. And if the tits and ass are worth paying to see the first time, who cares if we get to see them twice. It will be fun. We'll go tomorrow. We should be done with this case by then.”

“I still don't think you should be dating your boss,” Jennifer muttered into her wine glass, but with a decidedly cheeky grin on her face. “Especially when the geek is taking you to a strip club.” She giggled again, and Em threw a cushion at her.

“Shut up, Jenn. And I'm not taking dating advice from you, thank you very much. No one can eat this much ice cream, or drink this much wine!”

Jennifer looked placidly at the snowdrift of tissues and the empty cartons of ice cream on the coffee table. “I know,” she said with a sigh and a smile, and Em could see that she was okay now. “He was a jerk, you were right. Better luck next time, hey.”

Em was relieved. Jennifer had come through this one quite well. It had taken more ice cream and viewings of Titanic than Em cared to remember to get the girl to this stage. Jennifer was very good at flirting, exciting new sex and hopeless adoration, but absolutely dreadful at breaking up or putting her foot down. Em's coaching sessions had resulted in Jennifer finally being able to hang up on a boyfriend before he hung up on her, and being able to say “I hate you” like she meant it. She'd come a long way, and Em had high hopes for her yet. Jennifer was still a naive sentimental, and Em wished she'd slow down on the vodka, but there was a chance, just a chance she might score something more than a one night stand.

Baby steps, Em thought. Baby steps.