My lips pressed into a tight line at the memory of that moment, the army they had been surrounded by, and Sain’s knowledge of what was going to happen. Yes, I had made the choice. And, while part of me didn’t regret being able to help them—to be with Joclyn after her fight with Ilyan, to help Ryland fight his monsters—I did regret not being with Talon.
I regretted his death and that I couldn’t follow him.
Yet…
“So w-w-why am I here?” I asked, my voice stuttering as I tried to find the right words to match my questioning. “Why are you here?”
“Am I really here?” Talon laughed as he stood, his body growing to an unnatural height before he sunk down onto the bench beside me, his body pressing against mine from thigh to shoulder. “I don’t know. Perhaps this is only a dream.”
I thought about that as I leaned against him, as his head pressed against mine, and we both looked into our sanctuary. It was a courtyard he had chosen for our T?uha over a century ago, one I now recognized as the cobbled yard of a castle we had met in many times before while I had spied for Ilyan, a reconnaissance spot where information had been traded. It was where our hands had touched for the first time.
I smiled at the memories, at the knowledge that he had loved me even before my memories were gone. He had loved every part of me, even the parts that had worked for Edmund for so long.
The thought was comforting. It made everything seem more real.
“It doesn’t feel like a dream.”
“No,” Talon responded in a whisper, his arm wrapping around me as he pulled me closer. “I would have to agree. I feel very real. You feel very real…”
His voice faded away as his hands trailed over my body, the large pads of his fingers rough yet somehow soft against my skin. I gasped at the touch, at the sensations that moved through my body.
It was so similar to how our magic had always connected inside of this space. Although much of the power and the emotion behind it was missing, I could still feel it. I could still feel him.
It was all very real.
My breath shook in exhale as his fingers moved over my neck, only to have both of us freeze at the childlike laugh that moved through the courtyard. The sound was high and joyous, despite my body refusing to register it as such. Everything tensed in panic as I looked toward the sound, almost expecting to see the bloodied child standing before us, but it was only the sound, only the echo of a life that was trapped.
I knew that now, but it didn’t stop the panic and tension from taking over. All I could feel was the heavy, painful, pulse of my heart as I looked over the courtyard, Talon’s touch all but gone.
“She is very real,” Talon whispered beside me, his voice sounding far too distanced as another echo of a laugh encompassed me.
“Rosaline.”
Did I speak in longing or fear? I wasn’t sure. My heart felt both, and it scared me.
“Yes.”
I turned toward Talon at his one word response, my eyes wide as I looked at him and begged him for an answer I knew I needed, even if I dreaded what it would be.
“Have you seen her?”
Talon looked at me with all the love I had known from him, his eyes shrouded in passionate sympathy.
I stared at him, waiting for his answer, searching his eyes for some clue as to what he knew, but it was only understanding and love I saw as his hand came to rest against my cheek, as if the touch would somehow soften the blow.
I don’t think anything could.
“No. I have searched for her—I have followed the laugh—but she is not there. Her soul is still trapped.”
Her soul is still trapped.
The words dug into my heart as flash after flash of that night moved through me. Of Edmund’s torture and the way he cut her apart, locking her soul into that blood red blade.
I had vowed to Edmund only days before that I would release her soul from that blade. I had promised I would set her and my brother free from the extended torture I knew he had wrought on them.
Hearing it again, hearing the reminder of what had happened to her, only renewed my desire to live. I would hunt down the man who had destroyed so much and hurt so many.
My jaw clenched together, the powerful magic that had stayed dormant until now raging to life. My fingers burned with the energy.
“Rosy.” It sounded more like an anthem than a name. Perhaps it was now.
“Maybe you needed to live for more than Joclyn, for more than helping them escape. Maybe you needed to live to save that little girl and help her find peace.”
His voice was distant and hollow in my ears, even though I heard his words and agreed with every syllable he spoke.
I couldn’t look away from the empty courtyard. I couldn’t look away from the space that her laugh had echoed from. My fists were balled at my side as I stood, certain that, if Edmund was before me at that moment, I wouldn’t hesitate to destroy him.
The laugh came again, loud and joyous in my ears, and I flinched, the determination growing as my magic flared violently within me. I stepped forward on instinct, the tap of my shoes loud in my ears before I stepped back, doubting myself for the first time in the last few minutes.