In the attic, Diana’s hand tightened once again on the hilt of the sword. Her sword. This had been her sword. She had been Boudica, Celtic Queen of the Iceni, and Cadan the betrayer from her dream. She had wielded this blade in battle two thousand years ago and she would wield it again.
The attic floor was cold and hard beneath her. She lay, so emotionally and physically exhausted that she could barely move. But she had to move.
Sick with grief, she pushed herself upright, her muscles screaming in protest. Focus, Diana. You have to get out of here. She couldn’t trust Cadan, had never been able to, apparently. When she’d been Boudica, he’d tried to take the most important thing she had: vengeance for her daughters and her clan. She’d needed it.
She crawled toward the chest, debris from the floor cutting into her palms. With the sword still gripped in her fist, she withdrew the remaining contents of the chest. A brooch and a thick gold necklace gleamed dully in her palms. The gold collar would have rested upon her collarbone. A torc. The quintessential Celtic jewelry. The heavy brooch would have fastened her cloak.
They had belonged to her, and Cadan had saved them all these years. Mourning her. She steeled her heart against the thought. Between hiding books and lying about Verulamium, he’d been hiding her past from her. He’d taken the decision from her, just as he had last time.
He left me locked up. I’ll leave him locked up.
She rose shakily to her feet, her memories finally intact. She called Esha as soon as she reached her room, having to dial the numbers twice because her hands shook so badly. She’d barely begun throwing her clothes into a bag when the soulceress appeared.
“Damn,” said Esha, her voice low. “You look like hell.”
“I feel like it.” Diana stuffed the rest of her clothes into her bag. “We need to get out of here. I know who I was, and I can’t trust Cadan.” As I’d feared. Why had she ignored that?
“Shouldn’t we be quieter?” Esha whispered. “Don’t want to wake the beast.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Diana wished she could go over there and give him a good kick.
“So he gave it up?” Esha gave her an appraising look, raising her eyebrows.
“No. He had a key around his neck that unlocked a chest full of my old belongings. I found my old sword. Touching something that had belonged to me must have triggered my memories.”
“Why would he have your old stuff?”
“We knew each other in my first life. I had my suspicions, but I didn’t know for sure until now.”
“Well fuck me, you must be pissed.”
“You don’t know the half of it.” She was still shaking and just wanted to scream at Cadan until she was hoarse. “Actually, can you hang out here a second?” she asked Esha. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea with her mind in turmoil, still split between two selves. Boudica’s rage was influencing her, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.
“Um, sure.”
Diana stormed off toward Cadan’s room, her footsteps echoing in the hallway. Scenes from her past played in her mind, fueling her rage until she didn’t quite feel like herself. She had the same rage and energy running through her veins that she got when she was fighting demons and her body remembered Boudica.
“Diana!” Cadan roared, clearly able to hear her coming and probably wondering why she’d left him tied up.
She entered the room, dimly aware that she was herself, but not. She was something different. Something more.
“Release me!” His eyes blazed and the tendons stood out on his neck.
“Not a chance in hell. Why did you lie to me?” Her eyes stung even as her fists shook and her mind seethed with rage. She was being pulled in two directions—between Diana’s pain and Boudica’s fury.
“What the hell do you mean? Untie these bloody straps!”
She laughed, not surprised to hear the bite of craziness in her voice. “Why? So you can repeat yourself?”
“Stop talking in riddles, woman.”
“Don’t you mean Boudica?”
“What?” Cadan’s brow furrowed, but something lit in his eyes. A spark of recognition at the name. Or guilt?
“I know about my past, you bastard. And I know what you did. And you’re trying to do it again.”
“Who are you?” His eyes searched her face, no doubt looking for a change, something to tell him which woman he’d be screwing over this time around. “Diana? Or Boudica?”
“Diana. Why? Disappointed?” Her heart twisted at the idea, but her head continued to pound. She’d wondered if he was the man from her dreams, but she’d pushed it aside. Idiot. Of course he was.
“Nay.”
She wanted to believe sincerity shone in his eyes. She might have, if she had been just Diana. But she wasn’t just Diana. Not anymore. The control that her father had wrested from her in the beginning of this life had been wrested from her before in her past life, only worse. So much worse. And Cadan had been trying to do it again.
***