Horrified, Zarya covered her mouth with her hand at the tiny room that had no windows. It was completely empty except for a single blanket on the floor and a flat pillow.
Maris jerked his chin to the door across the hall. “That’s his bathroom and dressing chamber. Every night, he had to go in there, get ready for bed and remove all of his clothes. Then naked, he’d come here so that his guards could cavity search him.”
Her stomach heaved. “Why?”
“Darling kept running away from home. Arturo wanted them to make sure he didn’t have anything he could use to escape or to call anyone with. Once he was searched, and they were never gentle about it, he’d be locked in here until morning.”
Or until they dragged him out for his uncle’s amusement.
She wanted to hurt someone over it. “How long was he kept here?”
“Till the night he killed Arturo.”
“No…”
He nodded.
Her senses reeled as she thought back to the times when she’d been speaking to Kere…
Had Darling really been in this room during those times?
Was that even possible? “I don’t understand. If he was kept here, like that, how did he ever have any freedom?”
“He’s cunning and resilient. Plus Nyk, Ryn, and friends helped him to escape from time to time under various ruses for a few days or weeks at a stretch. And once Nyk was crowned prince, he appointed me as an ambassador so that I could watch out for Darling and use my political ties to get him out of here whenever it got too bad for him. But this was always what he was dragged back to.”
Her mind boggled over all the things she’d never known about the man she loved. All the secrets he’d kept and things she would have never, ever guessed at.
All of it made her angrier at the world on his behalf.
Damn them!
She swallowed against the painful knot in her throat. “Please tell me that there was at least some brightness to his existence.”
“How so?”
“His brother and sister? Did Arturo treat them like this, too?”
Maris closed the door to that awful room. “No. As long as they stayed out of his sight, he left them alone.”
“Meaning?”
“Lise never pushed it. She would hit the door running to her mother’s chambers and stay there until she could return to school. Drake’s a little more… offensive. As he got older, he became cocky, and he had no respect for Darling back then.”
“Why not?”
“Like everyone else, he bought into the rumors that Darling was a crazed degenerate who earned his punishments. Since Arturo didn’t beat on him or confine him, Drake figured there had to be a reason for Arturo to beat Darling. Obviously it was all Darling’s fault.”
Obviously, indeed.
Zarya was beginning to really not like Darling’s brother. The more she learned about Drake, the more he seemed like a selfish ass.
“I’m surprised Darling has any use for his brothers.”
Maris shrugged. “Darling doesn’t forgive easily and he never forgets. But at his heart, he is a peacemaker. His father used to have a saying. The world isn’t fair. And no matter how good and decent you are, no matter how much you give to others, someone is always going to hate you for no other reason than the fact that you breathe. You can’t help that. You can’t change people or their minds once they’ve allowed them to get twisted by hatred. But you can change how you deal with them. Never back down, but walk away when you can, fight when you must. Whatever you do don’t give them the power to hurt you. Don’t let them inside you. They’re not worth it. Live your life for yourself. Stay true to yourself and if they can’t see the beauty that is you, it’s their loss. Let the bitterness take them to their graves. Spend your time on what matters most. Being you and appreciating the people who see you for who and what you are. The people who love you, and the ones that you love. They are all that matter. Let the rest go to hell.”
Those words touched her. “His father sounds like he was a great man.”
“He was, indeed. Very much like Darling.”
But those words also made her stop and think. Most of all, they made her wonder if there could ever be a real future for them after everything that had happened to divide them. Maris had said that Darling didn’t forgive easily, or forget. So where did that leave her? “Do you think he can ever forgive me, Maris?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I think he wants to. But he’s been hurt so badly by so many. You’re just going to have to give him time to learn to trust you again. Have faith that his love for you will erase the rest.”
Something that was much easier said than done. Broken trust was the hardest thing to repair. But she wouldn’t give up on Darling. She couldn’t.
But what if he gives up on you?
Darling wiped at the sweat underneath his mask as he sat at his desk, reviewing his mail. Strange how quickly he’d gotten used to not wearing the stupid thing with Zarya. But it was easy when she didn’t seem to notice his grotesque scars.
Unfortunately, he knew the rest of the world didn’t view him through her eyes.