Her eyes flew open as fear and anger mixed inside her. With a warning hiss, she started to turn over only to have that lean, ripped body tighten around hers, pinning her to the mattress.
“Sh, misa, it’s me,” Darling breathed in her ear, using the Caronese word that meant “my most precious one.” Her throat tightened. The surgeries had done nothing to change his damaged throat at all. In a way, she missed the refined, melodic cadence of the voice she’d fallen in love with. But she was getting used to his gruffer tone. The only drawback was that it often caused him to sound angry even when he wasn’t.
She covered his hand with hers. “I’m going to beat you if you don’t stop sneaking in on me like that.” His warm, masculine scent should have told her instantly who it was, but still…
“I’m sorry.” He nuzzled his face against her hair. “I didn’t want to wake you at all.” She might believe him if he wasn’t teasing her nipple with his thumb through the black shirt she wore, and if a certain extremely hard part of his body wasn’t resting against her hip.
She reached for the lamp, but he stopped her.
“I want to hold you like I used to. Before there was any kind of hurt between us. When it was just you and me in the dark. No past. No pain. Just two people who were madly in love with each other.”
“I’m still madly in love with you.”
He didn’t respond to her words. Instead, he nibbled her earlobe while he unbuttoned her shirt and spread it open so that he could cup her breast in his warm palm. “So why are you sleeping in my bed and not yours?”
Closing her eyes, she savored the way he felt holding her. “The same reason I’m wearing your shirt. I missed you too much to sleep in my room. In here, I can feel your presence and pretend that you’re with me and not far away.” She buried her face against his pillows. “I can smell you, too.”
And she’d wrapped herself up in his shirt to feel as close to him as she could without his being home. While it wasn’t the same as being held by him, it’d been a close substitution, and one that had allowed her to finally go to sleep. Honestly, it scared her just how much he meant to her. How much it hurt when he wasn’t here.
For hours after her return, she’d wandered around the palace like a grieving spirit. Aching. Lonely. Terrified of what would happen to her if he didn’t return. She couldn’t imagine a life without him in it. She couldn’t. The mere thought of losing him was enough to make her hysterical.
How could any man wreak such havoc with her sanity?
He trailed his hand over her hip and stomach until he found the most private part of her body. Zarya sucked her breath in sharply while his fingers delved deep inside her. He nuzzled his face against her shoulder, scraping her skin with his whiskers as he removed his shirt from her body. She’d grown so used to his beard that it was strange to feel his skin on hers again.
“Can I see you?”
“Not yet,” he said gruffly. “I’m not ready. I’d rather make love to you like we used to.”
In the dark where she couldn’t see him at all.
Her heart sank. Poor Darling. The surgery must not have worked. Tears gathered in her eyes as she ached for him. “I don’t care what you look like.”
“I know.” He rolled her over onto her back, then he took her breast into his mouth. Her stomach fluttered with every stroke of his tongue. Gods, how did he manage to do that? She reached to cup his face, but he caught her hands in his, then lifted them over her head so that she couldn’t touch him.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
His lips tickled her as he smiled against her skin. “I know what you’re up to. You were trying to feel my features.”
Heat scalded her cheeks at having been caught. He was right. “So I’m not to touch you?”
“Not yet.” He continued to trail his lips over her flesh, blazing a hot trail everywhere he went.
Her body on fire, Zarya moaned out loud at how good he felt as he moved lower, down her belly and to her thigh. He nudged her legs apart. She bent her knees and opened herself up for him.
He nipped her thigh before he took her into his mouth. Her senses reeled as he licked and teased until she could barely stand it. Arching her back, she reached over her head to grip his headboard. Still, he tortured her with absolute pleasure.
A few seconds later, she cried out as her release came so fast and powerful that it made her shake all over.
Darling laughed as he continued to wring every last spasm out of her.
She expected him to enter her then, but he didn’t. Instead, he took his time teasing and licking every inch of her flesh. It was as if he was starving and she was the only thing that could satiate his hunger.
Her heart thundering, she reached to cup him. This time, he didn’t stop her.
He sucked his breath in sharply against her ear while she explored every inch of his hard cock with her fingers. For a full minute, he rocked himself against her hand. Then, he pulled away and rolled her over, onto her stomach. He pulled the largest pillow under her hips, lifting her up.