How he had any sanity left was a miracle.
Maris gave a sympathetic nod. “True, but it was the lies he was forced to live with that cut him the deepest. Having to pretend to be gay and passive when it’s not in his nature to be either…”
“I can’t imagine.”
“Oh I can, and it sucks to the extreme. The stress of it’s unbearable… Only in my case, it was heterosexual and aggressive. I was truly a frightening warmonger in my earlier days.”
His words caught her off guard as she tried to imagine someone as effeminate and gentle as Maris being tough and swaggering like the other warriors she knew.
Yeah… no. It just didn’t work. He could never pull that off.
She wrinkled her nose teasingly at him. “You?” she asked with a laugh.
In that instant, his entire demeanor changed. His posture rigid and predacious, he moved to stand in front of her with an aura so powerful and lethal, she actually took a step back.
The scathing glare he raked over her body sent a chill down her spine. In that moment, she could easily see him killing someone.
When he spoke, his voice was an octave deeper and it rumbled from deep inside his chest. “You think I couldn’t kick your ass, bitch? Never underestimate what I can do, and my willingness to do it.” Now that was a warrior’s growl that would rival any League assassin.
Then as quickly as he’d summoned it, he let it go and deflated back into the gentle man she’d grown to love.
“That was impressive,” she admitted in an awed whisper.
Maris waved a dismissive hand. “Not really. I hated every minute of the years I was forced to live that way. I have eight brothers, a war-hero father, and assorted cousins and uncles who did nothing but throw women at me every hour of the day until I was ready to scream.” He clutched his hands in his hair, then lowered them. “For that matter, I was even engaged once.”
That caught her by surprise, too. “To a woman?”
He nodded. “Political alliance arranged by our fathers.”
“What happened?”
Glancing toward the bed, he primly folded his hands in front of him. “On the day of the wedding, Darling and I were alone in the groom’s chamber and I was so scared, I was shaking. My married future of lies stretched out in front of me, and it made me sick to my stomach.”
Maris paused as he saw that moment again so clearly in his mind. Swathed all in black, Darling had been dressed more for a funeral than a wedding—something extremely apropos given Maris’s feelings about the event.
Ever elegant and beautiful, Darling had stood there while Maris had paced back and forth with a lump in his throat so tight he’d felt like someone was strangling him.
As befitting his station, Maris had been in full dress battle gear, complete with the combat medals he’d earned. Back then, he’d been part of the Phrixian High Command as a fully commissioned officer—the very pride of his father.
Darling had watched him with a bemused expression. “Breathe easy, Mari. You look like you’re about to pass out or puke.”
“I’m trying.” He’d locked gazes with Darling, seeking both forgiveness and strength for what he was about to do. “I can do this. It’ll be easier, really. No one will expect me to whore around… as much, anyway. I can always say that I love my wife so I won’t have to come up with excuses why I can’t sleep with women anymore.” If he made up one more STD to get out of bedding a woman, he was sure his father would have him permanently hooked to an antibiotic IV.
“True,” Darling said.
Maris hesitated. “What’s with that tone?”
“It’s not my place to say. I’m your friend and I’m here to support you with whatever you do. You know that.” Darling handed him a towel. “I think you’re going to need another shower, though. At the rate you’re sweating you’re going to drown your bride at the altar.”
“You’re not funny.”
“Really not trying to be.”
Maris had wiped his hand across his forehead and grimaced as he realized Darling was right. He’d run marathons in the deepest heat of summer and sweated less. “How do I look?”
“Your pants are too tight, and you look like you’re about to vomit.”
That had panicked him even more. If he threw up like some green coward, his father would never forgive him. “What am I going to do, Dar? I’m about to be married… to a female person with female body parts. I’m going to have a wedding night and…” Unmitigated terror had filled him at the thought of sleeping with his wife for the rest of his existence. It was all he could do not to cringe. “Can you be me tonight? Please?”
“Pretty sure she’ll notice.”
Damn him for being right. But Maris wasn’t quite ready to give up on that solution. “We could drug her and she’d never know the difference, that way we’d all be happy.”
Darling gaped at his suggestion.