"It's okay, Tori. It's hard for us both."
Poignantly Victoria remembered the night at his house when he had asked the question, thinking the words he hadn't been able to say out loud. She wrapped her arms around him and felt him dip his head to gently kiss her bare shoulder.
"Stay with me, Christian," she said.
"I will."
JANUARY WAS DARK and dismal with icy frost and mountains of unending snow. The brutal wind chill of negative twenty made it impossible to venture outside except straight to class and back. On colder days, students chose to remain in the warm library, the most central building between classes, and head home when the day was done. It didn't get any better over the next month with several punishing winter storms. It was not a pleasant time.
Between classes, Victoria passed the time in the library. She had barely seen Christian as he'd had to travel to Boston and Los Angeles for Council business. Whenever he was in town, she went to his place where they studied or played the piano or just read in companionable silence. It was the safest place for both of them, as she still hadn't the faintest idea how to broach the subject of their relationship with Leto.
She had rarely seen Angie and Charla either as they both had full class schedules that semester. She'd seen them a few times in the library and then only a couple other times at the bar, which had also been quiet. If it weren't for the standing project session that she and Gabriel had in the library on Thursdays, she would probably have gone stir crazy.
Somehow, they'd ended up in the same Calculus class despite Victoria having the sneaking sensation that Gabriel had already taken the class, and they'd been paired together for a class project. They usually caught up for dinner afterwards, and it had grown into something that she actually looked forward to.
Over the last two months, they had become good friends. She felt connected with Gabriel in a way that she didn't feel with anyone else, not even Christian. As she had discovered, they were connected by a similar experience. He and Angie lived with foster parents because their biological parents had died in an accident when they were children. The admission had floored her and opened a wound she'd thought closed.
"We were eleven," Gabriel told her, "and the police told us that it was just one of those freak electrical fires. Angie was at a friend's house. I tried to help them but the smoke was too much. I fell out a window and broke my leg. They died."
"I'm so sorry," Victoria said.
"Well, you do what you have to, right? Try to put one foot in front of the next and repeat." She knew exactly what he meant.
In return, she confided to him about her parents, something she'd only ever talked about with Holly and Christian. But they couldn't understand the hurt as Gabriel could because he'd been through something exactly like it. Talking to him had been cathartic. He knew her pain, her sense of loss, and her fear of being alone. Victoria realized that Gabriel's constant desire to succeed and prove himself stemmed from the death of his parents. In his mind, he'd failed them.
Although their friendship discovered its roots in a common tragedy, Victoria found that she connected with Gabriel on many other levels. They loved the same music, the same television shows, and the same books and movies. It was a little uncanny, and Victoria had once joked to Gabriel that if she didn't know him any better, she'd think he was making it all up just to get into her good graces. He'd smiled and goaded her to "test him," which she'd done. He'd answered every single question, even ones she didn't know herself and had to Google.
"You are a total sham!" she'd teased him, unwillingly impressed.
"All part of my evil genius master plan," he'd joked back.
She understood him and Gabriel understood her. And as long as he was happy to keep it at friendship, she was fine with that.
Sitting in her warm chair and staring out the big glass windowpanes of the north library wall at the falling snow, Victoria saw Charla and a group of her girlfriends out of the corner of her eye, and sighed. Not that she didn't want to talk to Charla ... well, actually she didn't ... for some reason Charla had gotten very catty in the last few weeks, especially about the Thursday night sessions, which Gabriel had told her were Gabriel/Victoria only.