Blood for Wolves

chapter 6

At least we had a trail to follow. Neither of us said much as we walked. I nibbled on a small piece of jerky, mulling over what the old woman had said. I knew what she meant, though I really didn’t like it.

“What did she say to you?” I risked a look at Wolf. He was still brooding, occasionally kicking at the ground.

“I don’t want to say.” Then he peeked at me out of the corner of his eye. “What about you?”

“She told me not to say.”

He huffed in response. I fingered the wings on the necklace, wondering what they were for and why she’d given it to me in the first place. She’d said hoped it kept me grounded, but I had no idea what that meant. I worried about what she’d really said too, about not telling the Wolf. I only knew one Wolf and he was stalking up ahead of me, grumbling and growling. The sun was high in the sky, warming the air around us. A perfect spring day in the forest. I wished I was in the right mind to enjoy it. Then I remembered the stain on Wolf’s jacket.

“Wolf, your shoulder,” I started.

“Leave it.”

“But you’re bleeding. We should look at it.”

“I said leave it!” he snapped.

We didn’t talk the rest of the day, and when we finally made camp off the path I tried to do everything possible to stay busy. I collected firewood, started the fire, rummaged through my pack to create some sort of dinner out of whatever was left in there. Finally Wolf, his face softened, stopped me and forced me to sit down. I leaned against a tree and closed my eyes.

“I used to have a normal life,” I said to no one in particular. “And now look at me. Nearly getting eaten by giants and freeing slaves.” Had anyone noticed I was gone yet? Alex would probably be the first. I chuckled bitterly to myself. My step-brother would be the first to realize I’d disappeared instead of my sisters and parents. How sad was that? I opened my eyes to look at Wolf. He shuffled over the fire, cooking something that smelled like meat over the flames. I wondered where he’d got it.

“We should look at your shoulder now.” I got up to examine him.

This time he didn’t protest, and instead took off his jacket, vest, and shirt. Living alone in the forest for so long had made him lean, but strong. Just like real wolves. Numerous scars scattered across his skin, the origins of which could have been anything from a brush with a farmer to scraps with other animals. In a normal situation I would have taken the time to admire a well-toned male body, but the wound on his back drew my immediate attention.

I gasped. “Wolf, this cut is like five inches long!”

“It’s not deep.”

“Yes, but still.” Deep enough to be oozing blood. “Is there any of that stuff around? That lava-gum stuff?”

“There are gum leaves, but no lavawort,” he said. “I haven’t smelled any around here.”

I dug into my pack and pulled out my first-aid kit. It wasn’t very big, but I had a roll of gauze big enough to do the trick as well as some duct tape to hold everything in place. I focused on my task, unrolling the gauze and layering it over the dark red line marring Wolf’s skin. Then I used strips of duct tape to hold the gauze in place. The aroma of cooking meat filled my nostrils.

“Don’t burn it,” I said, the words involuntarily tumbling out of my mouth.

Wolf’s shoulder shook slightly with silent laughter. “I won’t.”

Once his shoulder was patched up, I sat down with nothing else to do but drown in my thoughts. Not the best idea. Barra’s shocked, dying face popped into my mind. Suddenly the entire day’s events hit me in a powerful wave, as though waiting for this very moment to pummel me. I covered my face with my hands and suppressed a sob.

Wolf was instantly at my side.

“What’s wrong?”

“I killed him,” I cried. “I killed that man, back in the tent.”

“Oh Caroline.” He slipped an arm around me. “They were going to kill us.”

“I know,” I said, trying to get a hold of myself. I wiped away tears. “I know. It’s just…I’ve never killed anyone. I mean, I did it.”

He drew me close so my head rested on his chest, gently stroking my hair. He was warm, comforting. It felt good to be hugged. To be this close to Wolf. Something about it felt…right. My heart slowed down, and after a few minutes, I realized it was beating in time with his. I slowly began to relax. There was no going back. What was done was done, as much as it sucked. I had no choice but to find a way to go on and accept it. I looked up at Wolf.

“Did you kill anyone in that tent?”

“No. I was close, but then you told me to break the tent pole.”

I almost laughed. Turned out the most dangerous person in that tent was me, not Wolf. “I didn’t know you knew how to sword fight.”

“I don’t. I was just swinging it around as much as I could, hoping that maybe I’d hit something. I’m lucky he didn’t cut my head off.”

Dusk was heavy on us now, our little campfire a tiny light in the dark. I heaved a sigh. Wolf pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“Come. You must eat something.”

We ate sliced lamb that Wolf had bought when he retrieved my pack. I wondered how he managed to buy things without people asking about the huge bloodstain on his back, but let it go. He’d been right about the lavawort making me crave uncooked meat. I savored every morsel of lamb even though we practically ate the meat raw. I licked the juices from my fingers. Having a warm meal in my stomach seemed to make everything a little better. I took a long drink from one of my water bottles.

“I’m glad you went back to get my pack,” I said, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “Though I still can’t believe you did that.”

He grinned and patted the daypack. “I like these matches things.”

“Yeah, well, I have a lighter in there too somewhere. I should show you that.”

But I was too tired to move and Wolf was too tired to ask. I closed my eyes, warmed by the fire and the meal. Then I reached up to touch the wings on the necklace the witch had given me. They were polished and felt like they might have been made from pearls or glass. I didn’t know how a necklace was supposed to help though. My fingers tingled a little when they touched the wings.

I sighed. What if I had wings? Then I could fly. I could swoop down and grab Marianne and rescue her. I smiled to myself. Wouldn’t that be a treat. Then I could take her home and be on my way, soaring through the air all on my own, leaving everything behind. How glorious that would be.

A spot on my back tingled in the same way.

And what of Wolf? I opened my eyes to look at him. What did he need me for anyhow? Why did he keep saving my life? He kept saying it was because we were mates, but that had to be a load of bull. People didn’t just meet and fall in love. He was probably in this for Marianne. He needed me as a lure to get her. Once we rescued her, would he leave with her? Leave me all alone by myself in a forest where giants ate people and evil smoke werewolves ran the trails and people disappeared, never to be heard from again? A wolf might be loyal, but he was half human, and people left others to fend for themselves. Including their children.

“Caroline?”

I snapped to attention, dropping my hand from the necklace. The tingling disappeared.

“Huh?”

Wolf stared at me as if trying to figure something out. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Why?”

He poked at the fire. “I don’t know. You just looked…distant. Like you were,” he paused, trying to find the right words, “sinking into yourself really deep.”

“No,” I said casually. “Just thinking.”

The stars came out, diamond dust strewn in a deep blue sea. Patches of sky appeared and disappeared as the treetops slowly swayed in the wind. The moon hung in just the right spot between two trees, glowing brightly, a few more slivers of it added since the night before.

“Wolf?”

He busied himself with the fire, prodding a log to get more flames. “Hmm?”

I squirmed where I sat, not really wanting to ask the question, but somehow compelled to. “Marianne’s sister. She was killed by a wolf.” He stopped moving. “Was it you?”

He looked at me sharply, his eyes glittering in the firelight. “No.”

For several long moments neither of us spoke.

“How long ago did it happen?” he asked quietly.

“I’m not really sure. Not long ago, I don’t think.”

H grunted. “For the last four full moons, I was impounded.”

I guessed maybe that meant three or four months, if their time was anything like mine. I listened to the fire crackle and spark.

“Why did you ask me that?”

I shook my head a fraction. “I don’t know. When I first met you, you were chasing after her.” I shrugged and shook my head again as if to say, “How am I supposed to know anything around here?”

“That’s fair I suppose.”

“Besides, you said that ‘she’ wanted Marianne. Who is ‘she’ anyway?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “She’s the one that rescued me and the others from the Impound.” He paused for a moment, as though debating. Then he lifted one of his pant legs, revealing the gold band I’d spotted during the night while he spoke to a wolf pack. “She gave us new clothes and put these collars on us, to show we were a part of her pack.” He frowned. “But I don’t want to be forced to follow. I just want to be free.”

I thought about his pledge to me. “Am I forcing you to follow? Because you say I’m your mate?”

His frown disappeared. “No. I chose to follow you. A mate is not something that is predestined. A mate is,” he considered his words for a moment. “A mate is knowing that the other person is just right for you. It’s a very deep feeling. Easy for wolves to find. Harder for humans. You don’t understand how hard it is to sit here with you over there. But you need time to find it, and that’s what I’m giving you.”

I watched him for a few moments. The firelight danced on his face, illuminating his intense expression. It wasn’t hard to read the longing there. He was right—I didn’t understand that feeling, but I did know that he’d saved my life twice and was my only link to remote safety in this place. I at least owed him a little something.

I got up and walked around to his back, leaning over and putting my arms around him, making sure to keep my weight off of his sword wound.

“Caroline, what…?”

“Thank you,” I said, pressing my cheek against his, “for saving me from everything in this weird place.”

I hugged him, and he turned his face to rub his forehead against my temple. His lips brushed my cheek. I suddenly wanted to tear off the necklace, to throw it away. I didn’t want to fly. I hated heights. I wanted to be here. But when I released Wolf, the desire disappeared and I left it alone. Instead, I picked the softest looking spot by the fire and lay down. Before I fell asleep, the leaves crunched behind me and Wolf lay down, his chest warm against my back. I didn’t move away.

The next morning I awoke nestled against Wolf with my fingers curled into the lapels of his jacket. His arms were wrapped around me and his chin rested on top of my head. I didn’t remember falling asleep quite so entangled with him, but I was nice and warm so for once I wasn’t going to complain. His breathing was deep and even, and I felt bad about waking him up but we needed to get going. I reached up to touch his face. The stubble along his jaw was rough against my hand and his skin felt warmer than I’d expected it to in the chill of the morning.

“Wolf?”

He awoke and looked down at me with gold in his eyes. “Good morning, Caroline.” He turned his face to kiss my palm. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes,” I said, surprised to realize it after all that had happened yesterday.

“I’m glad. Especially since you started off with a nightmare.”

“I did?”

“Oh yes.”

Suddenly I was very aware of how close his face was to mine. I couldn’t help it and glanced at his mouth. There was no denying that the kiss we’d shared the other day had left me breathless—I’d just tried not to think about it. And yesterday he’d put himself between me and a sword. One of his hands slid up to cup the back of my neck while the other tightened at my hip.

“Be careful,” Wolf said, his voice low and serious.

I snapped back to attention. “What?”

“I don’t want you starting something you can’t finish.”

I let out a nervous laugh and pulled away from him to get to my feet. “Then I guess we better get moving.” I picked up my daypack and dusted it off with more effort than necessary.

We trekked along the path as it gently flowed up, down, and around the forest hills and vales. When the road forked, Wolf would pause for just a moment before picking the right path, following Marianne’s scent to wherever the creature had taken her. Wolf had said it was magic, something that wolves didn’t play with. That didn’t make me feel any better.

I touched the wings at my neck. We might have to fight again. Battle that thing in order to free Marianne. Would this turn into a huge ordeal? Would we have to fight more than just one magic entity? How could we fight magic with magic? I’d killed before, would I be able to do it again? And what about when I went home? How would everyone like that? Knowing I’d killed somebody? I bet that would catch their attention.

My fingers stroked the glossy wings. I stared at the back of Wolf’s head. What if I died? Wolf couldn’t save me all the time. Would anyone notice I’d died? Could I even believe what Wolf said about magic and wolves? How did I know that wasn’t a lie? My Wolf, a good-looking, upstanding liar?

“Why should I trust you?”

Several feet ahead, Wolf stopped and turned slowly.

“What?”

“I said why should I trust you?”

His expression didn’t change. “I gave you the most solemn promise a wolf can give.”

“How am I supposed to know that? I know nothing about this place, and I’ve been just going on your word the entire time. I probably should have listened to Marianne, but I thought she was delusional.”

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Caroline…”

“No.” I backed up a few steps. “You stay away from me. You’re working for someone and you won’t say who. You were after Marianne and more than once by what she told me.” I kept touching the wings on the necklace. My skin tingled beneath them and the same tingle began to grow on my back. “You said you were impounded for eating sheep—how am I supposed to know that’s all you did? Running around with a knife, and you point it in my face and then claim that you love me? Do you know how twisted all of that is?”

He moved forward, his head cocked. “What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me?” I yelled. “How do I know you won’t go back on your word? How do I know you won’t take her when we find her? How do I know that you won’t run off and leave me alone? You’ll just abandon me here in this forest and leave me to fend for myself?”

The tingling grew stronger now. I kept my fingers on the wings. I didn’t need his help. He was only half-wolf, which meant he was half-human too. I could do this on my own. No one even knew I was gone in my world. Eventually they might look, and if I died here, they would go on looking forever.

“What do you have in your eyes?” he asked, ignoring me like everyone else.

I could do this. I could do something great, or I would die trying. Wasn’t that how everyone wanted to die? Bravely? Doing something special, amazing, so that all the world, or at least a great many people knew their name?

Wolf gasped. “That old witch! What did she do to you? What did she do?”

I closed my eyes. Just go away. Leave me alone. Let me do this on my own.

Suddenly I flew up, great white wings pumping at my back, the forest falling away under me.

“Caroline, come back! This is that witch’s doing!”

The forest drew small, a mess of green far below. The clouds flew past as I went up and up and up, my wings strong, the air currents flowing under the feathers. I dipped down and sailed west toward the sea, a tiny curve of blue in the distance. I could find Marianne like this. Soar over the forest path until I reached the ocean. I could find her, rescue her, and carry her off to where she needed to be. Then I could fly, fly away forever, leaving everyone behind to wonder what happened to me, and they would be so sorry for all the years they missed and all the times I was left behind. The only things I would miss would be my wolves.