Blood for Wolves

chapter 23

Somewhere in all the darkness, a wolf was howling.

“What the f*ck was that? What the f*ck happened to her?”

“This is all my fault! That witch. That old witch lied to me!”

“Of course it’s your fault! You f*cking went traitor on us!”

Somewhere, in all the blackness and the shouting, a little girl cried.

“She said the only way I could save her was if I broke my vow.”

“Well that sure as hell didn’t work, now did it?”

The voices went silent. The dark echoed with the sounds of crying. The wolf howled again. I wanted to comfort him, but I didn’t know where he was.

“Jesus. Care…”

I wanted to be with them. I wanted to be with the voices.

“You broke her heart, you know. I mean, I think you literally broke her heart.”

“What? No…. I couldn’t have. She’s not….”

“You didn’t see her. There was something wrong with her. Even the other wolves saw it.”

This time a wolf didn’t howl. A man screamed. Angry. Pained. Dying.

I clawed my way up, raging against all that blackness. I am not going to die in the dark alone!

I sucked in a breath. The men around me froze. Someone gently put a hand to my chest to feel my heart. It beat weakly against his palm. I opened my eyes a crack. Wolf still held me, gazing down in sheer disbelief and hope all mixed together on his face. My body ached. Traces of fire still lingered in my veins. I took in another breath.

“Caroline,” Wolf breathed. “Oh please. Please.”

“I hurt,” I whispered, and passed out.

When I awoke again, it was in a luxuriously soft bed and cocooned in supple sheets white as new fallen snow. I felt…clean. Relaxed. Better than I had in a long time. Still a little tired, but nothing that wouldn’t be cured from lounging in bed for a few hours more. The room was more lavishly decorated than our small guest room had been. The walls here were whitewashed and fitted with furnishings in such a way that a feng shui master would be jealous. Between the time of my half-death and my newly awakened state, the sun had come back out and beamed happily through the frosted glass windows to my right.

I stretched and realized I was dressed in a white slip—and that my arms were covered with the scars of healed slash marks. I traced my fingers over them in awe…and horror. Lavawort always left scars behind after it healed. How many wounds did I have when the extract went to work? I closed my eyes and shifted on my pillows. Someone in the room let out a faint groan.

I opened my eyes again and gazed around. Then I tilted my head back. Wolf sat near the corner of the bed, leaning back against headboard, his head resting against the corner post. I wondered where Alex and Marianne were. No doubt they’d been taken care of as well. He whimpered softly in his sleep. He’d cleaned up, now dressed in blues and grays. His sable hair was brushed back as always, yet I wasn’t surprised to see the shadow of stubble on his face. Yet as good as he looked, dark circles ringed his eyes.

I yawned and stretched again, a satisfying cat-like stretch, unkinking all my muscles and waking up all my bones to renewed life.

My movements roused Wolf, and in the blink of an eye, he dropped to his knees beside the bed, clutching one of my hands in his.

“Caroline, I’m so glad…” he trailed off, unable to finish. His eyes misted over with tears. “Oh Caroline. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I…”

His face begged me, implored me to understand. To see that if he’d only known the kind of pain he would cause me, he’d rather have driven a knife through his own heart.

“She told you to break your promise,” I said, unable to get my voice above a whisper.

He looked surprised for a moment, then nodded. “I thought it was just my heart I was risking. It never occurred to me that yours…that you might….”

He put his hand over my heart, losing himself for a moment as it beat beneath his fingers. I covered his hand with mine.

“Tell me,” I said.

“It was a lie.” His words spilled forth as though I’d unleashed a dam. “Everything I said in front of her was a lie. The lake was real. Everything without her was real. I love you, Caroline. You’re my mate, my heart, and I love you so much. I lied because the witch told me if I learned the truth about you—about you being the Guardian—I’d have to break my vow. And then I did and she knew and if I didn’t play along she’d kill me and I’d never be able to rescue you.” He held onto my hands as though I might fall away if he let go and leaned forward to press his forehead to mine.

“You sent the wolves, didn’t you?” I asked. He nodded.

“I had a plan all worked out, but then you broke out first and I wanted to go after you so badly but I couldn’t, so instead I followed along and tried to work with Martock to figure out a way to save you and Marianne and Alex and, oh Caroline, I thought I would die when I saw you in that dress…”

I held his face away to search his eyes. “That was you? I thought I heard someone…”

“I couldn’t help it. I wanted to see you and then you were so beautiful and you smelled amazing.” He paused to breathe deeply, his eyes closing as he inhaled my scent. “I wanted to steal you away then and there and tell you everything. If only I’d known your heart was breaking. Caroline, my sweet Caroline. Can you ever forgive me? I didn’t know. If only I’d known.”

His voice dropped to a whisper. His nose gently touched mine, but he went no further. I swept my fingers through his hair, watching him berate himself. How long had he punished himself over me?

“Have you even slept?” I asked.

“Not much. After they brought you here, I never left. I’ve been watching over you. I’ve never seen anyone drink lavawort flower elixir like that. It healed everything, but it almost killed you. For a moment, we all thought it had.”

“I know. I was,” I struggled with how to explain it, “in the dark somewhere. Barely there. But then I heard you howling and arguing with Alex and…I heard you scream.” I shook my head weakly. “I don’t ever want to hear anything like that again.”

“You won’t,” he whispered and kissed my forehead.

For several long minutes, neither of us spoke. He brushed his hand over my face, gently touching on all the curves, from the line of my jaw to the shape of my lips. Then he ran a finger over a spot on my cheek. The place now held a thin scar. He blinked and abruptly the hazel battled with the gold.

“When I saw him hit you, touch you, I wanted to kill him myself. That’s the only part I don’t regret. If she hadn’t killed him, I would have.”

I smiled faintly. “How are the others?”

“The minute you killed her, Alex and Marianne turned back to their normal selves. I can’t believe she was there the entire time, right on the throne.”

“I kept her with me until the fight started. Then I thought she might be safer on her own.”

The corners of his mouth quirked. “Clever Caroline.”

“Are they okay?”

He nodded. “They’re fine. We released all the people in the castle holds. Her parents were down there, and they’ve been reunited.”

“I’m so glad.” I sighed with relief and then paused. “How long was I asleep?”

“Two days, my heart.”

I struggled to sit up. My muscles felt rubbery as I pushed myself into a sitting position with Wolf’s help. I clung to his arms, waiting for the slight wave of dizziness to pass. Then I focused on Wolf again. Desire was written all over his face, in his eyes, the tension in his muscles. But he didn’t dare touch me. Not without my permission first. Not without my forgiveness.

“Why didn’t you tell me your plan?”

He dropped his gaze. “It was hard enough making one without letting her know. She was always in my head, poking around for information. I didn’t want to tell you because then I felt she would know for sure. I needed to convince her or she would have killed me and Alex and cursed you and Marianne away….” He looked up at me again. “I hated it. I hated every second of it. I hated hurting you. I hated lying to you and breaking my vow.”

He went back to begging silently again. I put a hand on his chest. He glanced down at it. His heart beat steadily. I wondered if it had cracked the way mine had.

And then I didn’t care anymore. I was alive. Whole. And Wolf was here, and he’d done his best to protect me and watch over me, and I knew in my soul that if I rejected him now he would limp away somewhere and die.

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him with all the energy I could muster. Forgiven, he clutched me to him, one hand weaving into my hair as he returned the kiss, full of relief and desire. The familiar taste of mint and, heaven knew how, berries filled my mouth, the scent of him surrounding me. Having his mouth once again on mine was like coming home. More exhilarating than his fierce kisses when I seduced him, more loving and beautiful than the kiss at the lake. We were bonded, mates for life. I didn’t know how it was possible, but I thanked all the stars in the sky and their creator for delivering me to him.

When I finally emerged into the throne room, I stepped in to a chorus of cheers and applause. People filled the room, all of them dressed in fine clothing and bright colors. Sentries stood around the edges, looking far more relaxed than I’d seen since my first meeting with them. Dishes topped with food and drinks covered the dining table on the far side of the chamber. Everyone held silvery goblets filled with sweet drinks, all of them there to greet me.

I walked in, my arm linked with Wolf’s. He’d helped me dress in a flowing green and gold gown, and managed to dig up a pair of flat shoes. Though much of my strength had returned, my legs still felt a bit wobbly, and I didn’t want to try heels. Then he’d taken a moment to let the Sentries outside my door know I was awake and coming down. I guessed that gave everyone enough time to set out a feast and congregate in the throne room.

“Caroline!”

Alex broke free from the crowd and caught me up in a hug, practically lifting me off the ground. He looked more handsome than I’d ever seen, dressed in an elegant blue suit with gold thread embroidered around the edges.

“How are you?” he asked. “Are you okay?”

I gave him a small smile. “I’m fine. A little tired, but I’ll live.”

The frantic pattering of feet over the ground told me that Marianne wasn’t far behind. I knelt on the ground just in time to wrap my arms around her.

“Hello, honey. How are you?” I asked.

She pulled back enough for me to see her face, flushed from her little run. She beamed brightly.

“I’m good. Everyone’s here! The sorcerers have been talking about you a lot, and my mama and papa really want to meet you. Some of them were worried you would never wake up like Rosamond.”

“Like who?” I asked, but in that moment a woman who could be none other than Marianne’s mother swept forward.

“Thank you so much.” She hugged me even tighter than Alex had. “Thank you! Thank you for saving our little girl. I’m so glad you were her Guardian.”

She sniffed, trying to hold back tears. Suddenly I wanted to go home. I wanted to see my mother. My father. My sisters. To reassure them that I was okay, to apologize for making them look for me and putting them in such pain.

“Well,” I managed, unsure of what to say, “she’s a special girl. And I certainly had a lot of help.”

After that I was swept away into the crowd of people, Wolf on one side of me and Marianne on the other. I met her father, who thanked me as profusely as her mother. I spoke with the sorcerers and discussed Marianne’s future role in the kingdom. They would teach her how to rule well, and I agreed to stay until her formal crowning, teaching her everything I knew of wolves in the meantime. I found Martock, who apologized for his role in the Steward mess, knowing how wrong it was for he and his men to go along with the Steward’s plan, but unable to find a way out until meeting up with Wolf. He conceded that perhaps wolves weren’t quite what he’d thought they were after all.

Together we mingled and ate, talked and laughed. Marianne was excited for me to see her crowning, and I was amazed at her ability to bounce back after going through such an ordeal. Then again, kids always did have uncanny ways of surviving things. I knew in my heart she wouldn’t be quite the same ever again, but perhaps that would make her stronger and a wiser ruler. With her parents and the sorcerers of the court to guide her, she had a good chance. Just to be sure, I reached out with my senses to examine the magicians. Their magic lay quiet, relaxed. No desire to rear up and be violent to take over the kingdom the way the Mistress’s had.

As I spoke with a handful of people, recounting some of our journey, I took a moment to scan the crowd in search of Alex. He’d wanted to go home ever since he found me. I wondered how he felt now. I spotted him off to the side, casually chatting with a pretty maid who giggled, thoroughly enjoying his attention. Alex caught my gaze. He winked at me and I laughed.

Later, when I was alone in my room again, I stood in front of the three-paned full length mirror, naked.

The number of scars covering my body seemed unreal. Every wound closed by the lavawort left a mark on my skin. I looked like something out of a comic book. The Mistress’s curse had opened plenty of cuts; they criss-crossed over my back, sliced down my arms, made my legs a pattern of lines. I was lucky she’d gone for pain and a slow bleed out; if any of them had sliced deeper, a few major arteries might have been severed and there wouldn’t be any coming back. Still…

The door opened and Wolf slipped inside. I instinctively wrapped my arms around myself. He cocked his head at me.

“What are you up to, my heart?”

I faced my image in the mirror again. “Look at me.”

I’d never considered myself perfect, but I still always thought my skin was rather nice. I looked at the palms of my hands. I’d slashed both of them with the knife—even they were scarred over.

He chuckled. Fabric rustled. Then Wolf stepped into the mirror beside me, naked as well, his body covered in just as many scars, several of them much worse. The kehmet claw marks across his abdomen had long since faded from their new-pink color to a slightly lighter shade than the rest of his skin. He turned to offer me a full view of them. I’d never looked at them this closely before. I recognized the sword slash on his shoulder blade.

“Do you find me any less appealing?” he asked once he’d finished his circle.

I blushed. “No.” In fact, a good part of me wanted to jump him right then and there.

“Besides, yours are nobler, love.”

“What do you mean?”

He lifted his foot to show me a rough-looking scar along his ankle. “Angry badger.”

I laughed. When I finally stopped, he smoothed my hair and gazed down at me lovingly.

“You’re beautiful, Caroline.”

He took my hands and turned my palms up. He kissed each one before kneeling and, holding my leg gently, began to kiss each and every scar. He took his time, pressing his lips to my skin, front and back, slowly working his way up to the small of my back, my belly, my arms, my shoulders where he lingered at the barely visible bite marks, neck, and then tenderly kissed the scar on my cheek and the tiny one above my eyebrow where I’d hit my head after meeting him.

I wanted to do the same to show him how much I treasured every part of him, but I was shaking, I wanted him so badly. I dragged him closer and fastened my mouth to his, relishing in the softness of his lips and the velvet swiftness of his tongue. His hands played over my back, tracing the scars before pressing flat to hold my body tightly against his. I would never get enough of him, his taste, his scent, the way his lean muscles went taut every time he was around me, the way my body went crazy just being near him. I lifted one leg and wrapped it around his body, offering myself eagerly to him. Breathing heavily, he broke away just long enough to speak.

“I should let you know, after tonight, you might need two more days of sleep.”

I nuzzled my cheek against his. “Bring it on, babe.”