“What did you do?” I whisper.
“The Dark had his hands inside you, taking your soul. I wasn’t assigned to help you Over, so I was going to leave you until I saw you fighting against your fate.” The world retreats into the distant memories from the night, and I shake the feeling away. “I left Jamie...I interrupted the Dark and we fought until I managed to banish him. I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t stand seeing your pain and knowing what your soul would suffer if he took you. When I won, I was happy because I thought I’d saved your soul and could send you Over with Jamie.”
“But you didn’t? Why didn’t you?”
“Other Reapers appeared, screaming at me for interfering. I didn’t understand what I’d done wrong. They told me I wasn’t allowed to take your soul because the Dark Reaper had torn into it. Your soul was broken and your physical body dead. They told me to leave you, but I couldn’t. If I’d left you, you’d be stuck in the Void, or the Dark would come back for you and it would be my fault.”
The image from the fog, from the dreams and of the men around me, contained him. I always knew. “So how am I here?” I ask hoarsely.
Finn inhales and closes his eyes. “I gave you life and returned you to the living again, not understanding what a fuck-up that would be.”
“Is that why I’m... like this? Because I have no soul?” I whisper.
“You do have a soul but it’s broken. You’re tainted by the Dark, and that’s why you feed off human energy to counteract the demon tainting you after that night.”
I squeeze my fingers around the warm cup. “Demon? I’m not a demon!”
Finn closes his hand around mine and the icy sensation travels along my veins again. I snatch my arm away. “Tell me I’m not a demon!”
A young guy carrying a tray containing a sandwich and fruit glances at me oddly, and I look down at the table. I pick the chocolate chips from the muffin and eat them. I can’t comprehend what he’s telling me, but my gut instinct is it’s true. What does my existence mean now? It’s not one where I eat muffins and work a dead-end job, that’s for sure.
“Not really,” says Finn. “You’re Between.”
“Between. I know, Alek said I’m between worlds.”
“But what worlds, Rose?”
“This one and the dead.”
Fin shakes his head. “The demon realm and the angel realm. You’re alive but damaged.”
I stand, chair nearly tipping. “I can’t listen to this...”
“Rose. Stay. Listen.” He grips my sleeve, careful not to touch me. “You’re powerful, that’s the whole point. That’s why you’re a danger to us and the Dark want you. Because you’re Between, you have the ability to cross into any of the realms - demon, angel, the Void. Nobody else can do that.”
Finn pauses and rubs the back of his neck; the wary look in his eyes worries me. “What? There’s something else, isn’t there? What else?” I ask.
“I created you, so you also have some of my power; you can heal people, maybe even give them life. That makes you more dangerous – and more desirable to the Dark.”
“How can I? I take human energy when I’m close.”
“You can choose not to.”
A sick churning in my stomach accompanies everything Finn tells me. This is his fault. “You made me this creature, Finn?”
He looks at the table. “I didn’t realise what I was doing, but at least I saved you from going to Hell with the Dark.”
The cafe bustles around us, the scraping chairs and low voices on the periphery of my thoughts and life. I didn’t ask for this. “I wish you hadn’t interfered, Finn.”
“I wanted to help you. I still do.” Finn shakes his head slowly, focusing on his cup.
“How? How can you possibly help me? You were sent to fix the mistake - me.”
“I don’t know, but I’ll do everything I can to fix you, not the mistake. I don’t want to harm you, Rose”
I blink back at him. “I have to go…”
The blood plummeting from my head toward my toes is cold, not from Finn’s touch but from everything he’s told me. He doesn’t follow me, so I pause and place a hand on the cool hospital wall.
I fight the fog. And I win.
Chapter 21
The idea of going to a party when earlier today I discovered I’m part demon (or something) doesn’t exactly appeal. How will other people react to me while I’m there? I dress in leggings and a short, blue-cotton dress, topping the outfit with a blue cardigan because I don’t want my scars showing. Slipping on a pair of black flats, I head downstairs.
Alek sits on the sofa with a beer in hand and stands when I enter the room. I haven’t spoken to him about Finn yet, and Finn’s words have churned around my mind since our meeting. What about Alek? Who created him?
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks.
“No reason. Are you going to work?”