“I’m not getting back into your car!” I shout at him, wiping rain from my face. “Leave me alone!”
Alek’s curls flatten as his hair sticks to his head and he shrugs off his jacket, holding it over his head. “Come on, Rose. Get in the car. Jesus, talk about making a big deal.”
Anger slams into my mind and I shove him in the chest. “Fuck you!”
Alek stumbles. “Whoa. Okay...”
“How did I die?” I scream at him, rubbing the scars on my arms. “What happened?”
Realisation passes across his face. “Shit.”
“A fucking car accident, Alek!” I heave in air. “Okay, so I’m half-fucking-dead, but I still feel! I still grieve for my friend and you driving like that brought it all back!”
The rain has one benefit, he can’t see my tears.
“Fuck. Rose. I’m sorry...”
“Wow, the arrogant Alek apologising.”
“I mean it,” he growls. “I’m out of touch with people. I find it fucking hard to empathise, okay?”
We face off. I shiver against the rain and the uncomfortable feeling of my soaked work clothes sticking to my legs. This day has drained me. I’m raw from Finn, dead people, dickhead housemates, and nightmare car journeys.
“Why?” I demand. “Are you telling me I’ll lose the ability to love and care for people?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know! I only know what happened to me. But after twenty years on my own, it’s a bit fucking hard to relate to other people’s feelings.” He drops his jacket back across his shoulders. “But I still have my human basic need not to stand in the pouring rain and get soaked. Please get in the car.” His voice is softer now, cajoling me.
I cross my arms tightly over my chest, debating whether to go with him or storm away.
Alek reaches out a hand as if he’s approaching an animal that could attack him. “I didn’t think. I wish I could, I’m trying with you.”
His damp fingers connect with my wet cheek and I jerk at the sensation. “Zapping me and expecting me to fall into your arms won’t work!” I snap.
Alek’s mouth tips up at one corner. “We can sit in the car until the rain stops, if that helps? Then I’ll drive really slowly home?”
The rain has soaked through my clothes and the cold through my skin. “Okay,” I say. “But only because it’s raining.”
***
We arrive home and I’m beyond furious with him. Despite having the heating in the car turned full, I’m soaked. We barely spoke on the journey home, for once Alek not interjecting with what he considers humorous teasing.
I stomp into the house and throw my bag onto the floor. Peeling my soaking coat off, I drop it next to the bag. Alek closes the door behind him and I wait for a cocky comment. Instead, he watches me warily for a few seconds before walking past into the kitchen. When I hear the fridge door and clink of beer bottles, my irritation returns.
“What the hell?” I ask as I walk in on him in his usual position: beer in hand, legs on the opposite chair. His T-shirt is soaked through, and stretched across the taut muscles of his chest.
“What?” he asks.
“That’s it? No discussion?”
“What’s to discuss?”
“Don’t you care about what you just did or how much you frightened me? Don’t you want to know if I’m okay?” I’m incredulous at how easy he switches off.
“Are you okay?” he asks, unconvincingly, and swigs from his bottle.
“What is with you?” I retort. “Why do you behave like this?”
“I told you, because I’m not used to people. Sorry, Casper, I can’t help it.”
I shake my hair from my face. “You’re two different people, and it’s hurting me, Alek. My world’s upside down and you spin it out of control more. I don’t know who I am or what I’m worth, and when you treat me like this after spending the night in your bed, I feel worthless.”
Alek runs his tongue along his teeth and fixes an intense gaze on me, one that adds to the shivering. Standing here in wet clothes is horrible, but last time something worse lurked in the bathroom, and I’m scared to go up there.
“You’re not worthless,” he says in a low voice. “That’s the problem. You’re unbelievably important to me.”
“Why? Because you can get some free energy when you need topping up? Seduce me into sex when you feel like it? Then dump me when you’ve had both?”
“Rose...” He looks genuinely shocked. “You know that’s not true.”
“Do I? You’re only nice at those times.”
“That’s a lie! I look out for you. I came to collect you tonight. Okay, I drove like an idiot tonight, but I try to keep you safe.”
“I don’t want keeping safe! I can look after myself! I especially don’t need keeping safe from an arrogant dickhead who treats me like crap half the time.”